It's still a bit cold to leave them to fend for themselves. You might want to try and cover them with some dried leaves. Or, on nights it will get below freezing, overturn a pot on top of them.

I have some ideas that help me keep in touch with kids that were close to my little girl. Always take alot of pictures when together. Take professional & alot yourself. Those will be fun memories for her to look at. Make scrapbooks of your family & send her some fun scrapbooking material like stickers, stamps, fun scissors, & paper. I have my boys hold up signs & take pictures. Can you & DH hold up an "I love you" sign & mail to her? Do you have a webcam? Sometimes Webcams can be fun. Do you know her interests? Some girls love to receive flowers at school. I just sent one girl flowers(favorite color) & balloons. I think it makes them feel special. Find out if her school has a memory book. Parents can write a poem for their kids. Does she have email or myspace? Does she like Neopets or anything like that. You can get her an account & you both get pets & take care of them. Find something of interest for the both of you & mention it to her. That might give you something to talk about on the phone. Try emailing first & finding her interests. Oh yeah...kids love things that are in & Hannah Montana is in for little girls. How about a pillowcase with Dads picture on it, & an "I Love You". A Build a Bear with a special message you both have recorded. Also, if you ever get the opportunity, say real nice things about the BM. Even if you can't stand her. Think of anything positive to say, and say it. "Oh your mom is pretty & you got her...hair, eyes etc. If I were you, I would try real hard to help the relationship DH has with her. I think that was my job as the SM & my obligation as the BM to do that for my children. I think many moms are very special and talented that way(some aren't). I feel for you being long distance & for her. It's a tough situation to be in & it's not fair to the little girl, BM, you, or BF. I think the custodial parent has alot of influence in those situations. If she's not selfish she will nurture a good relationship between her little girl & you & Dad. If she's selfish & doesn't like you, good luck...as the little girl will probably not like you either. My little girl was young so I definetly influenced the relationship the best I could. I gave my daughter $50.00 of the child support each month saying it was from her Dad & she could spend it on herself, donate, or relatives. We chose Dad cards on holidays. Called several times during week(slow times). She had his picture hanging up in the bedroom which I framed. I really believe in the long distance situation the custodial parent can make it work or break it & the noncustodial deals with the outcome of the circumstances.

You sound like a smart, strong woman that is taking all the right steps toward becoming a stepmom. For me, I think the first thing I did prior to becoming a stepmom was realize that it was going to be HARD, but if I worked hard at doing the best that I could it would be worth it. One thing I told my SK's prior to marrying thier dad was that I expected them to treat me the way that I treated them, and that as I long as I respected them and I expected the same treatment from them, and it has worked so far. I try to remember that sometimes they need me to be a "mom" and sometimes they just need me to be a friend. DH and I have been married since December, he was 40 when we met had sole custody of his four children from a previous marriage, and I was 33 and had never-been-married single woman that traveled 70% of the time and had lived alone by choice for 13 years prior to making the commitment to marrying my husband. We dated for just over a year and also lived together for about 6 months prior to marrying so that all parties involved (including the kids) could adjust to the changes that were going to take place in all of our lives. It may not be the ideal situation for everyone, but it worked for us. I have an incredible relationship with my husband, and a great relationship with all of my stepkids as well, I love them and feel blessed to have them in my life. I believe that they truly love me and I received beautiful, heartfelt handmade cards from all of them for mothers day, it was truly incredible. We have HUGE ex-wife problems, but we handle them together and sometimes when necessary we handle them through the court system. One thing that I did when I met my husband was make sure that he understood that there was only room for ONE wife in our marriage (he was still doing a lot for his ex, when I first met him) and he respected that and made it clear to his ex that she was just that from that day forward. She doesn't always respect our wishes, but DH treats her like an ex and that is good enough for me. One thing that I would recommend is that you and your SO always present a united front to the kids, even if you disagree about the way something is being handled, have the disagreement in private and away from the kids. My SK's are great but there was a battle the beginning to see who would have the most "power" with their dad - them or me - and he was great about not giving it to them (or to me, for that matter) When we have a disagreement (the kids and I) DH listens to ALL sides and discusses everything with everyone, and we always seem to come to an agreement without to much of a blow-up. I also used to ask DH to tell so-and-so to pick up the bookbag on the table, put the socks in the hamper, but after a couple of months I just started asking them myself - once I started I just continued to do so. I still let DH handle the huge issues (things having to do with the kids bio-mom, etc.) but for the most part we share responsibilies equally. One thing we all did while prior to the marriage was go to couples and family counceling - an it made a huge difference for us. I learned that no matter how much the kids love me, when I married their dad it was going to be very traumatizing, and ruin the fantasy that every child of divorce has that mom and dad will get married again someday. I think it is one of the best things we could have done for our family. One thing I will warn you about is this - DH and I are having a baby in November, and it was very hard on my SK's at the beginning. The older kids got over it pretty quickly, and are now seem as thrilled as DH and I are, but our youngest (10 SD) was hysterical and distraught and even though she has known since Feb. she just this month has gotten excited about it and expressed happiness about it. We worked with her to help her through it, but it was hard on all of us. Good luck to you and I will keep you in my thoughts. Candy

Hi all thanks for the comments. After reading them I can see I left out some details. I would never just go and get my parents a dog. Although my mom did this to me once! They are ready and have made the decision to get a dog. Mom asked me to start the search, she doesn't have the internet and wanted me to search pet finder which is where I found my three rescues. There are a lot of steps and processes with rescues and I am helping understand how it all works. I am very familiar with breeds and there personality traits and what my parents life style is and what they like, and what their needs are so I can weed out dogs that wouldn't be right. If I find something I think they would be interested I let them know and they check out the profile. There was as I mentioned one attempt but the rescue did not respond the dog has been on the web site for a long time which cast doubt in my mind about this rescue. Mom took it personally feeling judged and this may turn her off the rescue process. Usually in our area small dogs generate a lot of interest and are adopted quickly and are removed from the website. We did go to a local pound but mom made it clear she didn't want to do this again, she feels badly for the animals, getting them excited or upset when we didn't adopt (the right dog wasn't there) She has a big heart for animals and hates to see them suffer. Ultimately the decision to which dog they get will be moms but I really would like it if she would let my Dad have some influence on what breed size they get. Every dog they have had had been mom telling dad where to drive to the breeder and mom picking the dog from the litters. Dad lets mom have what she wants happy wife etc. There is nothing wrong with getting a puppy from the breeder but the last time they did this was not a great experience. Mom called an add in the penny saver and it turned out to be a puppy producing business not a breeder, not a puppy mill but the next thing to it. The first puppy became sick very quickly and died after my parents spent a lot at the vet and invested their hearts in the puppy trying to save it, the " breeder" then gave then a really hard time about honoring the guarantee. I was not able to say or do anything about it. Obviously I would be able to help avoid this if they were to buy a puppy this time but I would prefer to go with a rescue. The dog that needs a home is with seniors they got her as a puppy, she is a calm girl already fixed. I suggested to my parents they could foster this dog. If they decided to give it a try I want them to know if it didn't work we would find a home for her, but at least this way we would have the dog in a safe home and not the pound until the best home could be found. I of course would love it of course if it turned out that mom learned that she would want to keep and have something bigger than a shih Tzu. Of course there are always things I haven't thought about. I need actual peoples experience with different sizes pros cons, and the things that I couldn't possibly know. That's why I come here because yall always give my things to think about, make me think outside my own box its great.