You are a sweet lady and I hope you keep developing love and a good relationship with FSD. If it works out, you'll never regret the extra love you've brought into each other's lives. And I believe it will enhance and deepen your relationship with FDH and his ultimate respect for you.

Wow, i just gav eyou advice about the phone issue. Even thought the biomom blocked the phone calls. cause that is what happen with me. I'm really sorry to hear that her mom passed away. THis completely sheds more light on the situation for me. My mother died when i was 10 going on 11 as well. Its a very hard time and yup i think this girl needs reassurance. Even if she is trying to start trouble . please have patience with her. I'm sure you do cause you sound like a great person ( you opened a school fund for her) Do what is best for this child and the mil can stuff it. All this talk about losing money!!!! Do what is best for the child. Keep her close to her dad and to you and teach her well.

My husband and I have two children together. We will be paying for their tuition and books, but they will have to get jobs for the other stuff. My husband has three children with his ex-wife. (One not biologically his, so he has no legal obligation to support her, although he does still think of her as his daughter. She was the result of his ex-wife's infidelity.) Anyway, we will also pay half of their tuition and books. They are both learning disabled and one is definitely not "college material," though, so I'm not sure what our actual obligation will be. They are both a few years away from college. We will pay for school not because anyone is or feels like they are "entitled," but because we want all of our children to have as much of a head start as we can give them. I support it all 100%. I worked to put myself through college and my DH enlisted in the military. If we can make it easier on our kids than it was on us, we'll do what we can. But we won't make it too easy, if you know what I mean. There will be rules and expectations... I will support no child, step or bio, who doesn't work hard in school. No child - his, mine or ours - will be supported through college on the "eight-year plan." What we do for one, we do for the others. If we can't do for all, we won't do for any. Period. My skids do enjoy a better standard of living than my children do, from a financial standpoint, anyway, in part because I have chosen to be a SAHM and in part because their mother has always made more $$$ than my DH does, but to me, that's neither here nor there. It just is what it is. My middle SD claims that she can get anything she wants from her mother by batting her lashes and shedding a few crocodile tears, but she also knows that doesn't work with us. I'm thinking she may have problems as she gets older. My skids are basically good kids. They are more appreciative of us than they are of their mom, but I think it's because we expect it and she does not. Here is a link that might be useful: Step Lively

Relationship on trust/money between OP and her BF is not really the point here. A call to the actual insurance provider should be persued before loaning out the vehicle to a live-in BF. OP knew this when she first posted, fact she knew this when she initially looked into insurance on the vehicle. She wants BF to have the pleasure of 'borrowing' her car without the having to pay for the monthly premium of it. And that's not the way it is suppose to work via many policies. If I loaned my car to a neighbor, my insurance covers it. If I loan my car to a son who does not reside with me, my insurance covers it. If I loan my car to a BF who lives down the street in his own home, my insurance covers it...but if I loan my car out to a non-listed, non-covered licensed driver who resides in my home and I am too cheap to pay for that premium addition, nope. I could have him put on as a casual, occassional pleasure driver (with an increased premium of course) and no problem. I could file an exception stating he lives there but is not driving my car and waive my company of responsiblity in the event he sneaks it anyway and crashes it. Blah blah. If BF resided with me owned his own car and was insured by himself on it and I owned my own car and was insured on it by myself (even without being listed on each other's policies) we could swap cars now and then and no problem...but that is not the case here. Either pay the extra premium and be honest to your insurance provider about who resides in your home and might drive your car or pay for a rental car. What you're suggesting is no different then if I were too cheap to put a 17 year old licensed living at home kid on my policy and pay the higher premium but still wanted the rewards of letting him/her drive it at will and have my provider pay for any boo-boos.