Coincidental?

19 years ago

DH took off this week to spend with his son before summer visitation schedule begins with the BM. It seems that SS's behavior and manners have worsened in a matter of only two days. Chores haven't been done, yard work is left unattended, dishes are piling up in the sink.......while they're sitting on the couch watching TV nonstop. Has anyone else experienced this phenomenon?

I've done such a good job lately of asserting myself in a nice way and SS was doing his chores (although begrudgingly) and being somewhat pleasant and now this?

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Comments (4)

vistajpdf
19 years ago
I'm a little new here and can't recall his age?

To answer your question, yes, I've experienced it. I've asked that my SD, 24, and my husband keep the glass railings clean. It's not an easy task w/ three little boys constantly going up and down the stairs. I have an old wrist injury that really hurts when I do that motion, plus some arthritis (I think) setting in either from tennis (I played competitively through college) or the car accident I had right after dental school. Figures, I'm 43, DH is 61, and I'm the cripple, lol. Anyway, the staircase is a double one and all the panels are glass, so it's the equivalent of ~ 18 windows. I watch SD and DH lay by the pool every weekend, watch TV in the evenings, etc, but when I ask about their little job, hear, "Oh, didn't have time..." What they're really saying is, "I made time for the things I felt were important and your staircase wasn't one of them..."

Unless it's a big game or something, I think you might have a little family meeting and list the chores on a chart, then say that you'd like to set a time for things to be done BEFORE the relaxing starts. I mean, I'd love to come home from work and kick back, watch TV, and hang out, too. If I did, would we ever eat a homecooked hot meal? Serve up a few PBJs for dinner a couple of nights in a row, saying, "Sorry, I just wanted to watch TV instead of cook..." and see if that gets a reaction. Priorities...

Dana
dcubana
19 years ago
"Serve up a few PBJs for dinner a couple of nights in a row, saying, "Sorry, I just wanted to watch TV instead of cook..." and see if that gets a reaction." I agree totally.
For some kids (especially difficult ones)its alot easier to get your point across to them this way...Your actions will speak louder than words!

My therapist actually suggested that i "encourage the bad behaviors" like if my SS lies to me...i'll just ask him if he wants chocolate or vanilla ice cream for dessert and then give him the "opposite".When he complains-i just say-"oh,i didn't give you what you asked because since you lie all the time...." So far its been working great!
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cawfecup
19 years ago
Your SS is going to visit BM this summer ... Hubby changed his mind?

Its "vacation" why should they do any chores... I have said this to you before unless you and hubby are on vacation same house rules apply bedtime chores etc. As long as you can stand it join the fun on the couch or somewhere with your daughter. When they ask where dinner is say there isn't any clean dishes can't make dinner. My SC think summer vacation means staying up till midnight back up at 5 am doing nothing all day, but eating. Rude awakening last summer same rules apply this summer ... We have already had that family meeting.

My SC have a dog and a few other "pets" They don't get to eat supper until all the pets have been taken care of. If I didn't do that none of the pets would be cared for. If they forget I put dinner on the table with paper towels over it. They know oops the pets need to be cared for.

On mother's day I took the "day off" no-cooking/cleaning my 11SS nearly had a fit ... what are we gonna eat. You'll figure it out. Your father can cook ... he ran to his dad ... cawfe is taking tomorrow off??? she is not going to make us any food. Dad said we'll survive if she takes the day off.
laurels4u
Original Author
19 years ago
Thanks for the great advice everyone! I am so glad I posted and got such great replies.

SS is going to BMs for two weeks each month until school starts, unless DH is out of town, and then he'll stay with her then as well. BM claims she wanted SS all summer but didn't fight DH tooth and nail on the idea.

Coincidental?

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vistajpdf

dcubana

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vistajpdf

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