Question on eloping and reception.


My fiancee is in the army. We are going to elope in September and when he comes home in October have a reception. We dont much care if we get gifts we just want to celebrate it with our friends and family then. How should we go about it? Do we let everyone know we are already married (right after we do it or when I get home from seeing him and doing it or wait till he comes home than tell everyone?) How would I word the reception invitation? A few people know of our plans and support us. This is kinda the only way we will be able to move together so we need to get married before he gets shipped to his duty station. (we have a daughter ) (the army wont move us and he would have to stay in a barracks he wouldnt be able to live with us if we moved there anyway. So our only option is to get married while he is still in training) OK Did I confuse ya'all :)

Thanks in advance :)


Comments (6)
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Receptions after the wedding are done all the time, if not by couples who elope, then by other people who want to throw a party in honor of the newly-married couple after the wedding.

Personally, I would let people know about the marriage as soon as you return home from your visit. (Assuming that your immediate families know ahead of time, of course.) You could send wedding announcements, or simply phone and write your friends and family.

Invitations for the reception depend on how formal the reception will be. For an informal reception, such as a beach party or barbecue, consider writing personal letters of invitation. For a more formal reception, such as dinner and dancing at a function hall, use something like:

The pleasure of your company

is requested at the

wedding reception of

Jane Smith


Timothy Jones

Friday, the fourth of May
at three o'clock



Don't mention anything about gifts - people are never obligated to give gifts, but most will want to, and that's up to them. I would consider registering for a few things, maybe china and crystal, so that your families can point guests to a registry if they ask.

Best of luck to you!

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An alterative wording would be something like

Jack and Jill
announce their marriage
on September XX in City
and request the pleasure of your company
at a celebration
on date
at place

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If the reception will be only a month or so after the wedding, I would go with suggestion #2 and combine the announcement and the reception invitation into one item.

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Thank you all for the suggestions.. I like the second best since we are having a BBQ reception on the beach. :)

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and good on you for choosing your wedding date with your *marriage* in mind, and planning the party around *it*--not planning it around the party.

Some people discover they have no real conflict between the two. but lots of times people say "we're not going to get married unti we can save up for the reception," which never makes sense to me.

(though I realize now that I actually waited 1.5 years from engagement to wedding, bcs we wanted to get married in early fall and didn't think we'd have enough time to buy a home and get a date at a NYC catering hall by then. But, unlike you, the stakes weren't as high. And actually, now i think we were stupid; we should have just gotten married that very fall)

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Emily Post says you mail the wedding announcements the day after the wedding, if that helps at all.

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