I read this from the other thread and didn't want to hijack it with my saga, so, starting a new thread.

"Side note: Somehow I see Ima's SD's BM pulling these sorts of stunts 20 years from now."

Well, I don't know about that... hope not. But my stepmom's daughter (I refuse to call her stepsister) did this:

My stepmom suffered an aneurysm about 11-12 years ago and was hospitalized for a couple of months. Stepmom wasn't getting very good care in the nursing home so her daughter and my dad (because my dad wanted her kids to have a voice in decisions regarding their mother) decided to bring her home. The agreement they made was to have my dad move out of the marital home & rent a house. He would continue to make payments on the marital home and his wife would live there. Her daughter (and family) would move in and her daughter would take care of her. He also hired a respite worker to care for her a couple of days a week so her daughter would have days off. At the time, my dad was probably overwhelmed with losing her (as he knew her) and he had to operate his business, so that was the agreement. As compensation for taking care of her mom, she would get to live there free. He paid the mortgage and utilities. I think he even bought groceries once in a while. He also gave her a van and paid the insurance on it. Her husband worked in a job where he also had a take home vehicle. The point there is they had virtually NO EXPENSES. The deal was that when my step mom passed away, her daughter would get to keep the house. I'm assuming she would have to sell it, pay off the mortgage and keep the equity. (in the neighborhood of 250k) She took care of her mom for two years and I guess she didn't expect her to live that long. She decided she didn't want to do it anymore. She demanded that my dad pay her for all the months she had been there. He refinanced the house and gave her $60k. She went & bought a new SUV and put money down on a house with her husband. Oh, did I mention she filed Bankruptcy right around that time too?

So, she didn't work and decided that she would take her mom for a few days every week if my dad paid her. She had him convinced that she wanted to be the one caring for her mom. She also had my dad convinced that she thought of him as her 'dad' and would give him cards on all holidays that were 'to my dad' and 'love your daughter' and my dad treated her like his own. He even had included her in his will. My step mom stayed with dad four days, her daughter the other three. That lasted a year or two. Then she decided it was too stressful and quit. That's when I started taking care of my step mom. A couple of months later, she was complaining to my dad that they were having financial problems and could she start taking care of her mom again? She needed the money because she doesn't work. He told her that she can come to his house and take care of her during the day but she said no. So I did.

She would come by and visit about once a week. Then, early last year, her brother's petitioned the court for an accounting of their mom's assets and income. They were implying that my dad was misappropriating her 'estate'. Her daughter wasn't a part of the suit and she told my dad that they (her brothers) only wanted to get their mom's silver. He went and gave it to her the day before their court date.

**He had already given her daughter all her clothes when she moved into the house the first year. (we're talking very expensive stuff, most with tags still on them), he gave her all her jewelry, everything step mom inherited when her dad died, family pictures, and when my dad got finished paying off my step mom's new Mustang Convertible, he signed the title over to her daughter. (Step mom had bought the Mustang to celebrate her Master's a year before she had the aneurysm)

The next day, my dad goes to the court hearing and there's my step mom's daughter, sitting at the opposing attorney's table with her brothers. Their attorney handed my dad's attorney a declaration she signed, where she stated that while she cared for her mom, she was 'woefully underpaid'. (it cost my dad about $4k a month between the mortgage, utilities and cash he paid her) About a month later, there was another hearing (they were not satisfied with my dad's accounting of their mom's money) and this time, my dad's attorney asked their attorney if they were asking for an accounting of the business my dad inherited when his father died. Their attorney said, 'no, that's his separate property'. and with that one statement, my step mom's son hung his head and buried his face in his hands. The ONLY asset that was left was my dad's business and it was the one thing that we believe they were after. My dad proved that my step mom's care costs more than her income and he pays the difference from his income from his business. My dad's attorney also sent their attorney a letter admitting that my father made a mistake. She told them that he 'jumped the gun' and distributed their mother's property and assets improperly... meaning that everything my dad had given her daughter needed to be returned, including the car. There were no more hearings after that. (of course she didn't return anything and my dad didn't really want it back, he just wanted them to go away and leave him alone) Oh yeah, dad rewrote his will. (he also wrote a will for their mom so if he dies first, they still get nothing.)

My step mom's daughter came to see her mom for 10 minute visits for a few months (about once every two weeks) when my dad wasn't there. She started to make comments about her mom being neglected. She pointed out every scratch or bruise. Over the ten years my step mom has been in a vegetative state, there have been mishaps. Her daughter even dropped her once. She has had a broken arm because she has osteoporosis. It was the final insult to injury that she would accuse my dad (or me) of neglect when she isn't even willing to visit more than ten minutes every couple of weeks. Then, she just stopped coming over all together. (Her brother's have NEVER visited their mom since this happened)

We expect that when my step mom does die, there will be another lawsuit. It is beyond my comprehension how people can put money or possessions above family. Maybe that's why I don't believe in prenups, even if I should. My dad didn't need a prenup to give her children all of her things, he just tried to do the right thing. Perhaps he needed one to protect his from her greedy children.