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I 'm hurt, confused, feeling dumb and used!

15 years ago

Ok please tell me if I'm wrong to feel this way- My daugter is in her mid 20's. We both got invitations to her friend "Sally's" bridal shower in May. We couldn't attend and RSVP'd that we wouldn't be able to attend.

My daughter and "Sally" grew up together, attended school from Kinder-University, the whole deal, daisys, girl scouts,attending each others b-day parties, 4th of July, graduation etc. Sally spent alot of time at our house, weeks at a time and we really enjoyed having her. She's a great kid.

Well neither one of us recieved a wedding invitation even tho we knew it was sometime in June. I just thought it was a late mailing and had already bought a nice gift for the couple. My daughter finally told me that the wedding was this weekend, so last week I called Sally's mother and made arragements for me to drop her gift off at her house. Both the Mom and Dad came to greet me, the Mom accepted my gift, then said "Thank You" then " Did you get an invitation?" I said no, her husband said "I sent out all the invitations" I said I have other plans for the day since I hadn't received one so just give Sally my best. Then the mom and dad started telling me how much they paid for everything, $1,000 for the wedding planner, $2,300 for the dress,$1,200 for the cake,$25.00 per head for dinner etc. etc. We had a nice chat...I thought. As it turned out alot of people were invited to the shower but many of them weren't invited to the wedding. It took me a while to figure out what had happened. It was for the gifts! The rest for show. But not for me or others to attend. A friend also has had this happen to her.

Is this now normal? Some how I feel bamboozled,and hurt. I will never do this for my daughters wedding. If you're invited to the shower you're invited to the wedding.

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