NEED: poem/reading about blending the bride and grooms families

malachite

19 years ago

I am looking for a poem/reading about blending the bride and grooms families together. Their parents, siblings, etc..

Thank you

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Comments (3)

agnesd
19 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
How about, "May this family combine as one in love and harmoy."
malachite
Original Author
19 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Do you have the words? I am not able to find them.
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Since your family is from a different culture, I suspect you will be given wide lattitute and not be expected to behave as if you were Japanese. I would suggest reading up on Japanese customs and wedding traditions so you know what they are -- but not necessarily trying to follow all of them. Ask your DIL-to-be and her mother for advice, and defer to as much of it as you comfortably can, diplomatically explaining your reasons for those customs you can not embrace. For example, the offer to rent kimono is generous and kind, but there are many traditions that go along with wearing kimono, and you may inadvertently do something offensive or foolish that would not stand out or offend if you were dressed in Western dress. Obscure (to Americans) things like wrapping right over left or the proper number of layers of undergarments. Also, you both would probably need to be 'professionally dressed' for the event, which may be uncomfortable for you. Giving money as a wedding gift is a widespread tradition among Asian (and many other) cultures, and one you should probably not try to erradicate. You don't need to participate, as presumably, your cultural traditions will be given similar respect. You might also ask to include a select few American traditions -- perhaps throwing rice, stomping a wine glass or tossing a bouquet? Maybe mention the possibility to the bride, explain the reasons for the tradition -- but be prepared to acquiesse graciously if they're not particularly important to you. As for your expected financial contribution, if you can't find the information online, perhaps the Japanese Studies department at a university could help you. Or a library? Or a friend of Japanese descent? Or ask your son to ask the bride to be. Some direct questions can be embarassing, but surely far less so than doing the wrong thing. Your FDIL will want you to make a good impression on her parents, and should be willing to be "uncomfortably frank" to make this happen. Gift-giving is a very important ritual in Japan, and the gifts to and from the wedding couple would be, I imagine, rather MORE important than most other types of gifts. If there's one area where I'd be especially reluctant to break with Japanese tradition, this would probably be it. Get the 'low down' from your FDIL and her parents and explain to the American guests how it works so they will know what to expect and also not feel/appear foolish and ill-bred.
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silversword
14 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Unity Candle ceremony:

Personalized pillar candle and individual personalized tapers and gave each child a personalized taper.

The ceremony was actually a Family Unity Ceremony. All children write a congratulation and thank you note to the bride and groom. Once the Unity Candle was lit, take turns lighting their tapers from the pillar and in unison, recited the following:

"As I light my candle from the Unity Candle, I feel the warmth, love and excitement of my new, larger family.
Thank you(BRIDE'S NAME or MOM or MOTHER) and (GROOM'S NAME or DAD or FATHER) for having given me an extended family to love and be loved by. Congratulations! I love you!

Groom: "(childrens names), I want you to know that I dearly love your mother. We have become very good friends over the weeks and months and we have learned to love each other. As you have so graciously shared this wonderful woman with me, so will I share the love I feel for her with you.

Together, we will learn much more about each other. I promise also to be fair and to be honest, to be available for you as I am for your mom, and in due time, to earn your love, respect and true friendship. I will not attempt to replace anyone, but to make a place in your hearts that is for me alone. I will be father and friend, and I will cherish my life with all of you. On this day when I marry your mom, I marry you, and I promise to love and support you as my own."

Bride: "(childrenÂs names), I want you to know that I dearly love your father. We have become very good friends over the weeks and months and we have learned to love each other. As you have so graciously shared this wonderful man with me, so will I share the love I feel for him with both of you. Together, we will learn much more about each other.

I promise also to be fair and to be honest, to be available for you as I am for your dad, and in due time, to earn your love, respect and true friendship. I will not attempt to replace anyone, but to make a place in your hearts that is for me alone. I will be mother and friend, and I will cherish my life with both of you. On this day when I marry your dad, I marry you, and I promise to love and support you as my own."

The bride and groomÂs children then responded to the following vows when read by the pastor:

(ChildrenÂs names), do you promise to love your mother and her new husband?

Children respond: "I do."

Do you promise to support their marriage and your new family?

Children respond: "I do."

Do you promise to accept the responsibility of being their children, and to encourage them, support them, and accept them just as our heavenly Father accepts us?

Children respond: "I do."

(ChildrenÂ names), do you promise to love your father and his new wife?

Children respond: "I do."

Do you promise to support their marriage and your new family?

Children respond: "I do."

Do you promise to accept the responsibility of being their children, and to encourage them, support them, and accept them just as our heavenly Father accepts us?

Children respond: "I do."

Today is the wedding
Of more than just two.
We're blending our families
With love that is true.

Today marks the birth
Of a new family:
One that is special
For all here to see

Today's a Day of Love Not Just for Us
by Nicholas Gordon.
Today's a day of love not just for us,
But for all of those who brought us here.
So please excuse us if we make a fuss
Over you, the ones we hold most dear.
In you we see the love we replicate
By joining on this day our separate lives.
Our choice was neither accident nor fate,
But homage to good husbands and sweet wives.
We hope to make a family just like yours,
And be to our children parents much like you.
You have been to us wide-open doors
Onto a serene and peaceful view.
We look to you with gratitude and pride.
What joy this day to have you at our side!

NEED: poem/reading about blending the bride and grooms families

Comments (3)

agnesd

malachite
Original Author

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silversword

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NEED: poem/reading about blending the bride and grooms families

Comments (3)

agnesd

malachiteOriginal Author

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silversword

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malachite
Original Author