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when to have 3 yr old call fiance daddy

21 years ago

i am getting married next may, but at the end of this month me and fiance and dd will be living together. Do i wait for us to be officially married before she calls him daddy. or since we are together now and she loves him sooo much, should she start now?

her bio father has never been in the picture-didn't want to be.

thanks

jen

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Comments (5)

Pashan
21 years ago
I think whenever your daughter and your fiance are comfortable with it. What does she call him now? Will it be a confusing transition for her? I think it's best for the "name change" to take place along with another event, such as when you all move into together or the wedding.

My daughter started calling my husband "Dad" as soon as the wedding was over. (She was calling him John on the way to the church and "Dad" at the reception.) She was 4 years and 3 months old at the time and never even "slipped" and called him John. I'd been with him for 15 months prior to our wedding, I couldn't believe that after 15 months of calling him John she never even slipped up, he was just simply Dad after that. We were engaged for about 6 months prior to the wedding and she always refered to it as "our wedding". It was as much her wedding as it was mine I think :-)

I was in a very similar situation to yours. I left my daughters sperm donor :-) when she was exactly 18 months old and we never ever heard from him again. My husband adopted her shortly after the wedding - wooohoooo!!!

~P
marie26
Original Author
21 years ago
she calls him andy, his first name. but once in a while without me telling her she slips up and says daddy, or father.
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Pashan
21 years ago
If he's comfortable with it I think it's fine to let her know it's okay to call him Daddy, or whatever term of endearment she chooses.

~P
don_na_na
21 years ago
I think she should decide. When I was 5, my step-dad had been with us for a little under a year I guess. I just walked up to mom and asked if she thought it would be OK for me to call him "dad." She told me to ask him, so i did. I chose what i wanted to call him. I think that may be the safest thing to let your daughter do.
AR_Dramaqueen --- Don_na_na's daughter
Ina Plassa_travis
21 years ago
I think that's up to her and him, really.

in fact, I think it's TOTALLY up to her and him, and the best thing you can do is let them come to a mutually comfortable arrangement.

I think as you three live together, that will shift naturally as he takes on poppa-like roles (reading to her in the evening, spinning her around in circles, holding her up high to see things, teaching her to play by 'guys' rules (it's important that a girl know BOTH sets of rules, so she will know what being treated with respect feels like.)

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