HI! I got a lovely email that this thread had been retrieved so I'm here to give an update! Actually, I've been so consumed with this project that I haven't even been to the forum. The store is going to open October 1!!!!! It's called "Southern Seasons" and it's in Shelbyville, TX. I actually got my LLC with Moo's Garden & Market but I found that I had to spell and explain too much with this name. Plus I kept getting mail addressed to Moose Gardens (?) I found Southern Seasons explained that concept much better. If someone will post the "code" on how to paste a picture I'll be happy to show you the progress. It's quite a transformation! It has been my passion to make this store THE store that I would want to shop at. It must have everything that I find enjoyable in a store. I think I might have done it, for the most part. First of all, we are all about the seasons. When we open in October I'm having a half a semi load of pumpkins delivered for sale and display. Their premium pumpkins from West Texas in all sizes shapes and colors. These bear NO resemblance to your Wal Mart or grocery store pumpkins. There is big and tiny, red and white and blue and orange, tall and fat and even some with warts! My husband and I bundled up corn shocks from our garden for decoration, I'm going to Louisiana for a load of barley and wheat straw bales. We'll have mums and snapdraggons, panseys, and fall garden veggie plants. The day after Thanksgiving, all the Fall stuff goes to the cows to enjoy and in comes the Fraser Firs from North Carolina. I'm getting table top sizes for my older customers who find large trees too much to deal with. Then comes spring with hanging baskets and beddding plants, fountains and bird baths, feeders, wind chimes, sun catchers etc. Back to October- Inside the store is seperated into two sections which I lovingly call womans world/man's world. The theme of the whole store is based on entertaining at home. Whether it's a formal dinner party, backyard cookout, or a cozy evening at home alone, I have what you need! - Let me explain! The ladies side will greet you when you walk in with a huge centerpiece of fresh cut flowers (which are for sale) and often times a fruit and vegetable centerpiece like a pomegranate and lemon topiary or such. I also carry Colonial Candles, and sachets and poporri from Sentations, candle sticks & georgeous table runners. Wine, iced tea, rocks, shot, martini glasses, pitchers, stirrers, decanters, swizzle sticks both silly and classic. Trays to carry your cup and saucer, the BEST music CD's ranging from jazz to love songs, books from Southern Lady publishing on entertaining and tabletops and flowers. Magazines also like Southern Lady, Taste of the South (Not taste of home) Victoria and Tea Time. On the counter you will find fresh muffins, cookies, croissants, cupcakes, fruitcakes, pies and bagles. Fresh hot coffee (perhaps cappaccino, I'm working on that) and you can take your coffee and muffin and go out on the back deck (20x24) and enjoy your coffee looking at the gardens and reading a magazine or newspaper. There will be a nice fountain and seasonal decor, of course. I want people to LOVE to be here! Man's world has Salty snacks like Real Virginia peanuts both in a can and in the shell, fresh fruits and vegetables grown localy and in from the Texas Rio Grand Valley, glass bottled cokes, the real can sugar Dr. Pepper from Dublin, TX. Deer corn and fall plot mixes. A meat counter with actual USDA PRIME BEEF! Yes, it's pricey but it's so difficult to find that I decided we MUST carry it for those who want something special. We'll have delicious smoked link sausage by the pound, and other food items that I'm still working on. I'm sure there's so much that I'm forgetting! It's a lot especially when you see that the store is so tiny but it will be loaded to the rafters which is what I wanted! Also, different yes, but I will NOT decorate for Christmas until the day after Thanksgiving! This gives you a reason to come back often to see what is new with the decor and centerpieces and foods. Thank you all for your interest and please come and see me when we get open! It's going to be nothing if not interesting. I've got to go paint....again! Love, Moo!

Personally, I think it was a mistake for your husband to call his ex. We've dealt with this for two years now, SD goes to her mom's and tells mom 'stuff' and mom calls dad up, yelling & ranting at him.. not 'discussing' as reasonable parents should. From your post, it sounds as if he didn't call when he was calm & reasonable, he was upset. She responded with anger or defensiveness, which is not going to resolve any conflict or resolve the problem he hopefully wants to resolve. (and my SD has also been sitting next to her mom when mom calls dad to yell at him and she'll be crying and begging mom to stop... then I'm sure she feels this is all her fault. Not a good position for a kid to be in.) Kids will play up the parts of a story they know mom or dad will react to and the truth is, there isn't much you can do about what mom did. Unless there is a bruise of other evidence of abuse, involving CPS on a one time incident is going to subject the child to further trauma... if it's an ongoing problem, then maybe intervention would be appropriate but it sounds to me like mom was stressed out and reaching out to dad for help by calling him. When she called to say she was going to hit him, what did dad say to her? Did he offer to take the child since she was obviously stressed out? I think one resolution would be to give mom help with reducing stress, which may be more time at dad's and maybe the parenting classes or counseling to help her deal with problems. I don't think it would help to call CPS or file to take her child away from her if she is otherwise a reasonable parent that just had a bad day. Last year, I was put in the position of being accused of hitting my SD. She wanted her mom's attention so she told her mom that I hit her all the time. Her mom called CPS on us claiming my 18 year old daughter grabbed SD by the arm, dislocating her arm. All of it was untrue, nobody has ever hit or grabbed SD in our home and CPS closed the case because it was an obvious lie, but the point is that it put my SD through additional turmoil of us having to take her to the doctor to be examined and she was pulled out of class at school to be interviewed... and all the time, she knew this was because she told her mom that I had hit her.. which was made worse for her because she knew it was a lie. I don't think she realized what a big deal it would become. and it's no picnic to be falsely accused of abusing a child!

I have recent experience in this matter. DH and I were married eleven months ago. His two kids are in their early 20's and both live with us, so it's a bit different. DH and I never discussed it, but I personally didn't feel that it was any of his Ex's business. He apparently felt the same way because he didn't tell her. She has her "not so stable moments" and neither one of her kids wanted to tell her. My DH is still considered family by his former in-laws and he told them we were married. DH said they were really happy for him, but he said they also got a look of fear in their eyes because they knew it wasn't going to be good whenever their daughter got the info. They never mentioned it to their daughter. Her brothers, sister and even some of her other family members were told and everyone kept silent. She finally found out last month and she woke us in the middle of the night to let us know. From what I have overheard, she also took it out on her kids, but she would have anyway. I think silence is the best way for you to go and even more because her parents are nutty too.

I second what mizscarlett said. PTSD or even TSD is a very real thing that happens to many people, not just soldiers. Arcy- I understand why you wrote what you did, it is the common stance of the general public to abused and battered persons; I used to feel much the same. BUT....unless you have lived through it yourself and had the same crushing emotions, guilt, worthlessness and self loathing that these people have experienced from years of emotional abuse, you really are in no place to judge. It is easy to view as an outsider and say, "you should have just left", it is FAR more difficult to do when you've been, slowly over time, made to live in fear for your life and the lives of those you love or been made to believe that you are, in fact, worthless. The worst damage people like OPs husband do isn't physical, it's emotional and mental. Her mother was willing to pay for the divorce but she was so worried for her mother's safety from this lunatic that she was willing to endure additional abuse to keep her mother safe. You berating her for something she already regrets is simply blaming the victim and encourages other people to NOT come forward. Many people who are abused (not saying this is necessarily the OPs stance) state that their abuser is quite charming at first, a "catch". Slowly, over time the verbal and emotional abuse escalates but they still say, "s/he's so great, and they've never hurt me!". Then the first time comes and they are physically abused. They are so shocked that it happened and "it's never happened before" that they write it off. It happens again, a few months go by and it happens again...and again....and again. At this point it is happening at an alarming frequency but by this point, the battered person is so broken, so ashamed at not recognizing what was initially happening, that they stay silent. The victim blames themself. THEN, in worst case scenarios, they begin to actually believe what the abuser says. They believe they deserve this. They believe they messed up, believe they are worthless, believe they are at fault. Frankly, as much as I want to judge and blame someone for their past mistakes, I can NOT sit by and blame a battered person for their poor decisions regarding their abuser. It's not right and it's not fair. msgenie- you've been given some great advice already. The only thing I can add to it is that you've already given him power and control over 50 years of your life. He is gone now and you can finally live. Try to NOT let his ghost take any more of your life from you. You only get one life, one chance at this big game; make it count. Regret nothing, learn from it.