wow, I'd start with a background check on this new guy. Then someone needs to talk to Lucy about birth control, maybe even permanent sterilization. Four kids and being bi polar is a terrible combination. There isn't a whole lot more anyone can do but notify children's services. If Sandy can't take her in and her mom wants her out too and her husband can't take the kids, there may be services that she qualifies for, including counseling. That just sounds like a mess and I'd be worried that those well adjusted kids are going to have their lives turned upside down.

Wouldn't her husband be eligible for subsidized housing, subsidized daycare, TANF, Food Stamps, etc.?

Has she been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder?
Did her dh know about this disorder before deciding to have 4 kids with her? And I say deciding because you can't have 4 accidental pregnancies. You can choose to have unprotected sex 4 times and then run the risk of pregnancy, but that choice is not accidental.

Her family needs to step up and get her help, if not for her sake for the sake of all those children. Who knows about this new guy-he could be a sex offender who will prey on her children for all she knows! And how the heck did she meet him if all she does is sit on the couch and watch t.v.?

Does her dh even know that she is planning on leaving? Maybe he could get her committed to a psych. place while her meds and everything gets sorted out and prevent this whole horrible situation.

If your that worried why not let them all live with you?
I didnt think so.Its not your problem and theres absolutely nothing you can do about it.

what a strange story. i could never understand why people have that many kids in such young age. they've never heard of birth control i guess. i have no advice, family is dysfunctional and a mess and i have pretty pessimistic future prospects for them...

"The husband can't care for the children on his own without Lucy: he's going to school, working part-time, living with Lucy's mother, & can't afford a place of his own plus daycare."

Unfortunately, sometimes you've gotta do what you've gotta do... That means since his children are in need, then now may not be the best time for him to be going to school and working part-time. When children are involved, sometimes the adults have to sacrifice. I believe that education is the best way to get ahead in the world, however, education at the present time should NOT be the priority when your children are in danger - and I do believe staying with some strange guy that their mom is wanting to shack up with would be classified as potentially dangerous!!!!

background check is a good idea, thanks.

the kids are fine now, they're with their parents & grandmother, calling cps would be wasting cps's time & resources.

if Lucy does indeed move to an apartment & take the children with her & move the guy in, & if at that time her husband doesn't take the children, then, yes, cps would have to be called.

good idea, tos, maybe husband can get some assistance.

yes, Lucy has been diagnosed; that's why she has meds.
meds that she isn't taking, but she has 'em.

& her husband does know the whole idea; he's just hanging in there & hoping it'll blow over.

& maybe it will, so far she hasn't moved, & in her depressed frame of mind I don't know that she has the necessary ability to follow through.

yes, I agree she doesn't need more children.
I just think that the fact that she had so many so fast might have something to do with her depressed state.

her husband hasn't had her admitted to a hospital because he, for the time being anyway, doesn't have any way to care for the children 24/7.

I'll let Sandy know, & she can encourage him to check into those programs.

maybe if he gets some housing & daycare assistance, her husband can get her into a hospital;
at least he & the kids would have a safety net if or when she crashes.

thanks, tracy, for your helpful suggestion & for your empathy & supportiveness.

these children's safety may depend on someone not directly involved, someone whose problem it isn't.

if this young mother does indeed move out & take all these little ducklings with her & move the "new guy" in, her husband can take the children back, but he'd have to have a way to take care of them.

& if the new guy hurts them before their father can make arrangements, then cps will get involved, but a great deal of damage will have been done.

thanks to all;
I'll pass your suggestions to Sandy, & I know she'll appreciate it.

Definately suggest that husband seek assitance... with four kids, going to school and a wife with diagnosed problems... he should qualify for just about everything under the sun. And, there is a reason that there is help out there... He would more than likely qualify for everything TOS said and more...

I wasnt being nasty but real.for what ive read there isnt anything that you can do.No crime as been commited,even if she did move in with this new guy,what would be the use in calling the cops.what could they do?why does everybody assume that he is going to be some sort of peodophile,or somthing else.Oh i forgot,he doesnt work .Does that make him a monster of some sort.
by all means check him out,untill then i wouldnt make such assumptions,

Well tracy look at the facts....

lady is off her bi-polar meds and attracts some new guy

he has no job and the plan is for them to live in some apartment while she does some management work there

she has 4 kids (not exactly something a lot of people want to walk into)

The odds are not in his favor for being some prince charming! Can not imagine many decent guys being jobless and wanting a crazy woman with 4 small children who is currently married and living with dh......RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE IN THIS SITUATION