I started gardening 3 years ago. We bought a home in Richfield that has a double lot. At the time we liked the house, but thought that the yard would be too big to mow. We basicly bought the house in spite of the large lot. Within a short time I started to plant a few things in the window boxes, before I knew it I was on my knees in the yard throwing annuals into the ground. By the end of the summer I learned what perennials are and bought a few on clearance at a nursery. By the following spring I became addicted to gardening and have 3 major gardens with several smaller ones in various locations. Now our big back yard is the best thing that happened to us. I can't wait to fill it as each year goes by. Thank goodness we didn't buy any of the downtown condos that we originally looked at. I'd be lost without all that dirt under my nails. Anthony

When my mother turned 70, we gave her a surprise party and wrote and performed a little musical of her life. She definitely loved that! But our family is into stuff like that. Yours may be more into art, writing, etc. For my 50th birthday, my husband contacted everyone he could think of and asked them to contribute a little anecdote for an album. He put photos in the back. I adore it. I recently did a "this is your life" slide show for a party honoring someone. Her family gave me photos. But in addition to the real photos from her life, we put in lots of downloaded photos with her face photoshopped in (always the same photo of her face, and always just a little too large). For example, when the narration was about her meeting and marrying her husband, there were a few of the two of them together, and then her with Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Homer Simpson, King Kong ... etc. It was really funny to think of things; she is a VERY refined and elegant lady, and we had her getting a tattoo, pole dancing, in a motorcycle gang, on a Tabloid cover, in the Sopranos -- like that. What made it funny was that we kept the narration perfectly straight and played very formal music behind it. It was very well received, and the guest of honor loved it. Do you think your mom might like something like one of these ideas? I, too, think I would prefer something like that to making the guests play games. I think it is so nice of you to make a party for your mother. You don't need to "program" every minute with games, though -- your mom's friends will enjoy socializing with each other.

All parties are ultimations...be there or miss the party :) Come on now, that does not mean "be there or miss the party and I'll never speak to you again" it just means the party is on Saturday and I'd love to see you, but if I don't we'll see you another time. :) The party takes place on whatever date it's set. I wouldn't call that an ultimatim, but maybe that's just me. I too cherish time with girlfriends W/O kids. I rarely get it (two days to date since my son was born) so it's a big deal for me. Just last night I invited my bunco girlfriends to come down for a bunco retreat at our new house sometime. I'll be leaving them and would love to have them come visit, but I didn't offer to foot the bill. It didn't even occur to me. And as said above, had it been reverse, me being invited, I'd almost have been insulted to have someone pay my bill for me unless there was a logical reason (and friends traveling to a casual party is not a logical reason). I know that of the twelve ladies I invited last night that maybe six or eight will attend. They are busy, and timing is always a challenge, and perhaps expense as well, but I won't be offended if someone does not join us for the weekend. I just want to see my friends and enjoy sharing my new home with them...not much different than wanting to share a special weekend (birthday) with friends really :) and nothing to get upset about.

FD~ My dad owns a FAMILY business. My grandparents started the business 50 years ago and my dad & uncle took over after my grandparents passed. My uncle retired and dad wants to retire. Dad has said he may just auction off the business but it's been my sister's goal forever to take over the business. (Like I said, I think she wanted to inherit, but dad is still alive) About three or four years ago, she was riding the real estate situation for all it was worth, she bought three houses & sucked as much equity out of them (to live on, buying expensive toys) and when the market dropped, she couldn't turn them as she hoped and lost two in foreclosure & she's about to lose the other. ~She is the one that took out equity to send her son to college & he flunked out. That is about the time my dad went to her and told her he is thinking of retirement & selling her the business... so she should get herself in a position to buy it. She didn't listen & lost everything.. so I get that she's angry at herself. Doesn't give her the right to be angry at me for building my credit & living more frugal than she does. In the last year, she & her husband have asked me several times to finance things for them... an ATV for her birthday; I mean, c'mon! I loaned her money to save her house from foreclosure once.. she did pay me back but I told her no to the ATV and another loan because I am now trying to get my own loan. That made her angry... it's just so irrational! I'm just frustrated by the way she is acting. We are not teenagers.. we are adults and I guess I am shocked at how she is acting. I just never imagined a grown married woman (with grown kids) telling dad he must choose.. her or me! How would any potential relationship for my dad survive that? As for our business arrangement, my dad & I have already discussed me finding a new location to move my store to and he may end up auctioning off the other half... especially if she does move away. Her husband is still working there & even he is puzzled by the way she is acting... he tells my dad he doesn't know what her problem is. Just wondering if anyone else here has dealt with sibling rivalry to this extreme? Or an adult child of her age having that much of a possessive attitude toward a parent??