so is this your new name or old one? I was thinking of getting a new name at some point.

new ... go to boardreader your name pops up quite a bit too eeks... :)

So, nameless but somehow earily familiar poster... ;-)

Are you aware of someway a moderately competent computer user can connect out screen names to our real identities? I know that it CAN be done, but is it as simple as going to a certain website to see?

I mean, finding someone's posts here is as simple as typing their screen name in the Search box (when it works...), and typing their screen name on Google pulls up a bunch of posts also.

How is Boardreader different?

I am not that competant but would love to know more about that certain place.... so I could possibly take a brush to my tracks

Now I am scared eeeks....

I would not be scared unless your screenname is similar to your e-mail address or real name.

But if you feel the need to be cautious then no big deal.

on a related note...

How might we go about keeping our anonymity (by not posting our real names or email addresses to the forum) but emailing a poster directly or offering that they can email us directly via personal email accounts? do you have to set up a "Gardenweb" member page, and does it give you a gardenweb email address? Do both parties have to have these "gardenweb" accounts if both want anonymity? Has anyone ever done this?

Maybe it isn't possible to do it anonymously... Just seems like, on occasion, this could be a good solution for those who want to share something with an individual "off the record" or only want to get certain folks' opinions, or are just shy about posting soemthing to everyone on here...

(I'm guessing this is probably a typical message board/forum type dilemma, hopefully with a simple solution, but I don't have that much experience with message boards, etc....)

old one was ... thats why the change not exact but close enough to figure it out ...

Mom just got email and asked the kids for my email address last week ....

not the "full name" but part of it :)

lol, I have my email address on here and googled myself the other day. If BM googles me (I'm sure she does) she will see EVERYTHING I've written. Do you think she'll believe me if I say it's not me???

LMAO, yesterday she flat out lied to DH. On Sunday, her truck supposedly broke down and she had it towed to the dealership where DH works. Then, yesterday while DH is closing up, he sees BM running across the service lane to her rental car. Her BF then drives by in her truck (the dealership found nothing wrong with it) and she follows in the rental car. Well, DH tries to call her because she is supposed to bring SD's backpack to him since she didn't have it on Sunday. She doesn't answer the first time and the second time he calls, she answers. He says, 'why didn't you bring me the backpack.' and she denies it was her. She tells him she is three hours away helping her BF's parents and it was her mom & BF picking up her truck. She denies being in town. DH tell her, 'no, I just SAW you.'. She sticks to her story that it's her mom. (Her mom is 4' 11" and 73 years old. BM is 5' 10" and 35 years old, they don't look that much alike.) So, DH calls the girl that BM would have talked to when picking up her truck. She knows BM well because they go to tae kwon do together. She says, 'yeah, BM was just here.'. DH was astounded that BM would lie about something so stupid. He had started to realize what a pathological liar she is but he says this just takes the cake.

So, if by chance she finds this and reads it, this is for her:

"IT'S NOT ME. THIS IS A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION. THERE IS NO FORUM ABOUT STEP FAMILIES AND I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN ANYTHING ABOUT YOU. YOU ARE IMAGINING THIS."

LOL ima

I agree... if your screen name is different enough from your real name (or email address), then if someone in particular finds your posts (and connects them to you), they had to really snoop around to do it. In that case, I'd say "if you're going to go through that much effort to snoop, then it's on you to have to face what you read here."

In general, I don't say too much on here that if my SM (or even my Dad) were to somehow find a way to read it I would be ashamed of or wish I could take back. But then again they'd have to search pretty hard. I made a point of making my screen name fairly obscure so that it's not like it's in someone's face if they "Google" me. So there's kinda both elements: preferring anonymity/talking to individuals in my life when and how I'm ready to instead of them just mentally cutting & pasting my words here to arrange them out of context... but also accepting that when it comes to the Internet, or anything in writing, you do take on certain risks with your words. The ideal is when you have nothing to say that you wouldn't say to someone directly --or more importantly--- that they couldn't accept hearing directly. But how many of us have that perfect set-up? (lol)

well incognito was taken ... good luck

I did a mini search ... so far so good and I know what I am looking for ... so a name change was a good idea

maybe mom was delirious she didn't realize she was @ X's dealership must be another one ... 3 hours away

I made the mistake on a google group to use my personal e-mail address. Posted asking for advice about bm. Later I did a google search on my e-mail and it came up. Nothing in the post was fictional, but I would be a little embarassed if someone I knew read it. After that I made another e-mail account not using my real name and used that when I came on here.

While everything I post about is true, it would be a wierd situation if dh or bm was to read it. Dh would probably be pissy about our personal info being public (not that it really is public with a fake e-mail) and bm would probably die of embarassment....wait maybe that is a good thing LOL!

I was watching Seinfeld the other day .... and the "catch phrase" on there was "Serenity Now" they kept repeating it ... but the one dude who "lived" by it ended up in a mental hospital telling George its useless ... keeping it bottled up nearly killed him ... so its a good thing you get it out !!!

Was secretly giggling watching it thinking of you!

in any case if we decide to change names which is OK we should inform each other who we are. i do think of changing mine actually. we do share computer and although everything is true BF would be upset that i talked about his DDs. In fact my DD might not like something i share about her...i also would not want BF's X to read anything what i say, she creeps me out.

lol, my DH knows everything I write. I sometimes read it to him and he sometimes comes on here to read it and he's even made his screen name, but hasn't posted anything yet. He thinks it's too much to read and he'll be on here too much if he does. (he's not a fast reader) As for BM reading it, nothing I've written isn't true. There are some personal things about my life that she doesn't need to know about but it won't matter if she does. Like I've said before, I used to use my blog on myspace to vent and it was much more hostile and raw. Nobody wants to hear bad things about themselves. The truth is the truth. (now if I were writing things like wanting to be mean or hating my SD, then I could understand worrying, but that's not the case for me) Plus, if she reads it here that she's being called a crappy mom, then maybe she will do things differently just to prove me wrong. I can always hope.

IMA If I were you I would change the email addy on here kinda too late now ... but for future references

just a good idea eeks...

i typed in your email addy ... the lotus is such a pretty flower ...

it's connected to my business website because I used to use this email address before I got one specific to my business. I could remove it from here but there really is no such thing as anonymity on the internet. I have resources to find people that don't want to be found.

for all the good it might do.

I wanted to see if it would change on prior posts but guess not.

"there really is no such thing as anonymity on the internet. I have resources to find people that don't want to be found."

Maybe, but private eyes and peeping toms may have the resources to spy on my home life as well if they want to badly enough, that doesn't mean I'm going to leave my curtains open and doors unlocked while I walk around naked in my living room...

just set up a secondary email account. Use it for people you want to correspond with anonymously or temporarily but don't really want to give them your personal contact info. Change it or cancel it if it becomes a spam-magnet or if someone you don't want to talk to won't go away.

bump ...... in case you missed it

DUH!

Yep, I wouldn't put anything on the 'net that I wouldn't want anyone else reading. You're NEVER completely anonymous.

Frankly, I don't care if anyone reads what I wrote.

It's so funny that this topic came up. The other day I saw cat38 posted on here. My heart sunk and I got worried. Why? Because BF's ex's name is Catherine and she happens to be 38 years old. YIKES! So, after reading the ppost and discovering that it wasn't her, I was relieved. But then I wondered why I ever thought in a million years that she would come on a site like this? I know we've discussed before that we would like to see more BM's want come on here to understand the other side of their child(ren)'s lives and actually want to make things good at both homes.

PPPPPSSSSSSHHHHHHTTTTT! Yeah right. She'll never come on a site like this! She doesn't think she does anything wrong!