I do not know about sending him the bill and money to pay part of it. That could lead to bigger problems if he misplaces the bill or spends the money.

I do agree with giving him a set amount of minutes a month and making him pay overages. First time he does not pay you for the extra minutes he used shut the phone off till he can! Most cell phone providers have some way to check how many minutes you have used so far in a billing cycle. Check into your company and then let ss know how he can keep track of his minutes. He can keep track daily if needed so there will be no excuses for going over minutes. I know my cell phone provider has 2 ways to keep track. One way is a code I press into the phone and then the amount of minutes I have used pops up on the screen. The other way I can keep track is going to their website and logging in. It will tell me how many minutes I have used so far this billing cycle. It is always approxomite, as it may have last recorded hours ago in that day, but it will still give him an idea of where he is at with minutes.

I do not know about sending him the bill and money to pay part of it. That could lead to bigger problems if he misplaces the bill or spends the money.

This is true, however if the account is in SS name, it would be HIS problem

OP I think you are being more than fair by offering to pay for even a part of his bill. He already has a history of taking advantage of your generosity, so put the account in HIS name and let HIM suffer some consequences

I agree with everyone else about sending him the bill. If it is still in your name, I doubt he will make this problem his. I agree with the concept of-you don't pay your part or you abuse the minutes or if you use the text messaging- you loss the phone. I'm sure you can still get him a calling card to call home on (and I would tell him that he will not get another card for such amount of time so he knows once the minutes are up- it's up to him to figure things out). He's old enough to be responsible even if he is in college.

I think the easiest thing to do would be to tell him to get his own account. He is 22 and it is time to grow up. You and your DH should not have to get your own account, you guys already have one!

Agreed. Being responsible for one (more?) bill (especially if it's the ONLY bill) sent to him, for his own cell phone account, is not a Labor of Hercules. Sometimes the only way people learn how to manage things is when they are accountable. (Provided there is not some extenuating circumstance where for whatever reason he REALLY CAN'T take it on right now.) As for your DH continuing to send him money for all or part of it, that is his call. He can send as much or as little as he chooses. But the important thing at this juncture is that it's in SS's name so that ***you and DH*** don't risk any legal/credit consequences resulting from SS's late or unpaid bills. (And if it gets to that, then, again, it's up to DH to decide if he will help SS out or not.)

But yeah, in general, SS should be moving in a direction where he is responsible for most (if not all, depending on circumstances) of his monthly bills and getting in the habit of independently figuring out how to pay for things. The world can be expensive and some things are next-to-impossible for a 22-year-old to be expected to pay for entirely, but I don't think independent responsibility for a cell phone bill is too much to ask.

My son (18) was doing the same thing. We asked him for the overage and he said no. I took his phone, told him 'you are old enough to go get your own phone.' and he did. He got a prepaid phone and now, he is on a plan with his older brother. It's up to them if they want to rack up a large bill. A cell phone is NOT a necessary. It's a luxury and if they want it, and most kids do, they will get it on their own.

It's not a priority because you and DH are paying for it. It's in your names and so if you send him the bill, what incentive is there for him to pay it? He doesn't want to be without a phone. He'll pay it if it's in his name.

I'd turn it off and tell him to get one on his own. If you feel he can't pay for it because he's in college and not working, offer to send him the money that you pay for his basic phone now and he can use it for his own phone but if he spends it on other things or goes over that amount, he's on his own. It's time to grow up and if having a phone is a priority to him, he'll make sure he has one.

I agree w/ Giggle & Serenity. He's getting to an age where he should be taking responsibility for his cell phone. Gosh, what's he going to do when he has to pay a mortgage, car payment, & medical bills. Teach him to be a responsible adult. Could you imagine being married to this boy?

22 and you're still paying his phone bill? As has been pointed out by others, you're not teaching him to be responsible for his own debts this way.
When our DD was 16 she went to boarding school and wanted a cell phone (we live where there is no high school so boarding school was the only option). We were fairly sure that if we gave her a phone it would be open slather if she wasn't paying for it, so we got her a prepaid phone and gave her cards for it on a regular and reasonable basis. If she wanted to go crazy on the cell phone she was going to have to fund it. We also had a homelink card so she could call us at home at our expense, so the cell was not really necessary. She is now 23 and is now self-supporting and very organised with her bills.
Teaching kids they can make withdrawals at the Bank of Mom and Dad whenever they're skint sets them up for big trouble later in life when Mom and Dad aren't in the picture any more. (By all means help if they're desperate, but don't teach them to depend on your help as a first resort.)

Thanks for all the good and supporting advise. Yes, I suggested we put the bill in SS's name, that is how we could help instill responsibility and a credit rating for him. I believe the problem is with DH. DH is having a hard time letting his son grow up and be a self sufficient adult. Does anyone else see this type of behavior with their DHs? Where they feel they have to give and give (money) to their kids. I loved my parents no matter what and they didn't need to give me money related items for me to love them.

But it is so much cheaper having an extra phone on the family plan than having each person have his or her own plan. My daughter was on my plan until she moved out of state, and at ten dollars a month, it was a bargain. At the moment two of my kids are on my plan. I think we have about 700 minutes, total, and we have never gone over that, or even come close. How can you spend over an hour and a half a day on the phone, every day? Does he have a girlfriend who lives in another state?

If my kids ever used too many minutes, I would just ask them to pay me back. At worst, I might have to wait until they got their next paycheck. What would your husband's son do if his father just asked him for a check?

Could it be divorced parents that fall prey to this type of parenting? I know w/ my little girl I wanted everything to be the easiest for her. I parented alot from the perspective that she only had me so I'm going to give, give, give to make up for Dad.
I now have three boys & going about them totally different. I don't care if they get upset with me. I'm their Mom, not their friend. I want them to be independent & not need me as adults. I think if I were to get divorced, I would fear....they like Dad more than me, they'll want to live with Dad & I'll be alone, I have to make up for Dad he has a girlfriend & putting boys on backburner. Divorce is terrible & it does change the way we parent.
My DH was doing this parenting out of guilt stuff when I met him. He actually warmed the girl's soup on the stove because he knew BM nuked it & thought stove was better tasting. It was Campbells soup reheated from the fridge. He also has never been able to say NO to his girls. He said he doesn't want them to get mad at him. I don't think it's a good idea to always give into kids, never giving boundaries. Self absorbed kids who don't understand boundaries turn out to be self absorbed adults who feel very entitled.

to theotheside, I know it is cheaper to have everyone on a family plan that is why we did it for 6 years. However, it is not cheaper for us because of SS's excessive calling behavior. I agree I can not believe anyone could talk on a phone for hours, but when I look at SS's call usage he spends hours talking to various people. Up to 1 1/2 hours per person

I think part of it is SS self centered behavior. About 6 months ago, SS was making excessive text message calls and DH warned him 3 times (months) to stop the texting because we are not buying texting, but he continued with excess texting. So DH went ahead and purchased 300 minutes of texting for SS and told him to keep it under the 300 min. But when we started paying for 300 texting he went way over that. It is a pattern with this SS if he doesn't get what he wants he does disrespectful things to his dad and myself. He is never satisfied and always wants more, I am sure he thought DH should pay for unlimited texting.

So since he can NO longer have texting he has started to do excessive voice calling. It is rude, irresponsible, selfcentered, inconsiderate, feels entitled and childish. Like I said he should be thankful we pay for his what should be average cell phone use.

I think DH's kids use quilt to get what they want from DH and he falls into it. Once SS said to DH and myself, "parents are responsible for keeping their kids happy." I was blowen away by that statement. I was so shocked by it I didn't know how to respond so I didn't.

I am going to stand firm on this one and apprieciate everyone's advise. Thanks

'Once SS said to DH and myself, "parents are responsible for keeping their kids happy." '

This is also my sons attitude. It's what they say to make me feel guilty. I really envy theotherside because she has damn near perfect kids that don't overuse cell phones and if they do, they gladly pay out of their next paycheck.

and theotherside, no it's not cheaper to have kids on a family plan when they consistently go over the minutes or double the bill with text messaging. Believe me, it's much cheaper now that my son has his own bill. He was adding over $60 per month to my bill. Now he pays $45-50 on his own. It's funny how he doesn't use his phone nearly as much now that he has to pay for it. My daughter also has a phone on my plan but she doesn't abuse it. She texts a few times but never more than a few dollars. She never goes over talking minutes.

BTW, we also have satellite internet and I had to take away my son's access because he would stay up all night downloading music and youtube videos. Halfway through our billing cycle, we get a call from the service provider that we've exceeded out bandwidth allowance and the rest of the month, our service was sluggish and we risked losing service altogether unless we paid to upgrade to a higher plan with more bandwidth, which was nearly double what we were paying already. I said no, we're not upgrading. I use internet for my business and so I took his router after the second time I got a call. The first time, I warned him not to do it again. If he wants internet, I told him that he can order a phone line in his name and use dial up service,which he didn't like because it's too slow to play his games and the music downloads take longer. He can also get his own satellite but it's pretty expensive. He's 18 and if he is going to abuse the things that are provided and break the rules, he is old enough to get those things on his own. I don't have to pay for him to goof off when he should be using it for school only. If he were only using it for school, I have no problem paying for it. When I looked at what he was doing, he had been downloading games, music, and videos.

Sunnygarden
He's 22. Tell him to get his own account and he is responsible for it. Tell your DH that you will no longer pay any cell phone this adult has.
Get your own account and since your DH doen't want his son to grow he can share his account with his son and keep footing the bill. Cause that is exactly what is going to happen if you let this son do this.
Cut his phone off immediately . No excuses from your DH. 6 yrs prove his neglagence as a person. Just cut your SS phone now. Get our own account. period

My kids are not perfect, but they don't want me to run out of money. Sometimes I have a hard time getting them to accept money for things or activities I want them to be able to do.

I agree with everyone who says it's time for your SS to pay his own bills. Take his name off your account. Simple.

I agree with taking his name off the account. I'd get him a pre-paid phone. You can top them off by pre-paid cards, or by phone or online.

I like that idea of a prepaid phone. Buy him the phone and add minutes to the card for him once a month. If he needs more than what you buy he will have to buy them himself! No way for him to cost you extra money that way!

Sure pre-paid minutes are a little more expensive, but way less than going over your minutes package on a regular cell phone every month!