Like your desk... it's not one bit "ugly" to me. Sure it looks functional, but that's what it's meant to be (I just happen to like that look anyway LOL). you and Martha Stewart. Once, several years ago, I sw in her office that she had a huge "paper pusher's desk" from the 1950s. Steel office furniture. And she still have a big metal "1950s office furniture"-looking table in her office for meetings. However I'd like to see a workable round table in my FR. But I like the idea of being able to put it away, however putting it away could be a problem...no place to put away. What about an office-type table? Where all the legs fold in, and you can roll the table behind the big wall unit (pull it out from the wall a bit to make room? There are some lightweight ones in the world, and you and DD can make getting it out and putting it away part of the classroom routine. If public-school teachers can have a "salute the flag, sharpen the pencils, take attendance, carry stuff to the office" type routine at the beginning of their day, why can't you have a similar business-like routine? In fact, you would teach her something really valuable by teaching her to set up her stuff for whatever she's doing, and break it back down. Round is nice bcs you can roll it--lifting isn't needed. But since she's 7, you might want one w/ more adjustable legs. I've seen that mostly in rectangular. But the blow-molded plastic tops make them REALLY lightweight. I have a small one in the church nursery, and it only needs two 2-y-o's to carry it ANYWHERE. True, it wouldn't look like fine furniture. But it would look sturdy and functional. and if ever you wanted it to look nicer--well, there are tableclothes (nobody looks at the legs) The FR is strictly for dd to play and watch tv (kinda like she can break her own tv). Sounds like that's a sensible place for home schooling, then. Here is a link that might be useful: Molded plastic table w/ folding legs

Hi, Mom of 3! I've got some suggestions, based on my experiences. First, your DH needs to get a set schedule with her, of one weekend per month, as the CO says. It either needs to be set dates or two weeks notice or something. If she refuses to agree to any particular schedule and wants to reserve the right to call at the last minute demanding to see her son, you're going to have to find the money to see an attorney and see what can be done about this. I know exactly what that is like; we've been through that exact thing, and BM will use this to torment you. You will find yourself unable to make plans for any weekend because you'll never know if BM will call to announce that she hasn't "gotten to" see her son and now wants to do so immediately. SS may need to see his mother - but he also needs stability and structure, and he should be able to make plans without knowing that they are always subject to last minute change due to his mother's whims. Secondly, your husband needs to stop talking to BM. Again, I know exactly what this is like. BM will use DH's attempts at co-parenting and maintaining a civil relationship to insinuate herself into your lives, to wreak havoc, to cause stress, to get attention - DH needs to just stop it. Obviously they must talk about SS - but he is all that they need to talk about, and if the conversation veers off of that topic into how much money you now have for gas, why the CO was unfair, how the CS is too much money and she's broke, how mean her new BF is, what's wrong with you, what's wrong with DH, what's wrong with the world, or anything else - DH needs to simply say "I've got to go now" and hang up. He does not need to justify, explain, excuse, elaborate or any other such thing to her anymore. He only needs to be civil and calm while discussing SS, and that's it. The longer any conversation lasts, the more BM will try to draw DH into an argument or dispute. Co-parenting does not mean that BM gets to rant and rave at you or DH at will and you are obligated to listen to her, or worse yet, respond. Third, I'd have a budget that does not include any CS that she is supposed to pay. If she actually sends some, that's a nice bonus - but I wouldn't be counting on it. Lastly, if she pulls some stupidity and does not return SS on time, call the police and file for an emergency hearing immediately. Don't let it go "this one time" - because it will happen again if you allow it too. You can make it through this. Your DH is now custodial parent. You now have a CO saying that she gets one weekend a month and pays CS. The status quo has changed and DH does not have to "work with her", or bend over backwards to accommodate her. He has to follow the CO, no more, no less.

BM told DH that SD is getting on her nerves & she doesn't think she can take it any/much longer (I may have not gotten the exact words from DH, I wasn't there). I don't know what BM has told SD, but it wouldn't surprise me if she says hurtful things to her. I don't even know if she's playing that angle anymore... saying she wants SD. It was pretty cold what she did/said at SD's birthday party. She showed up 40 minutes late, no gift & stayed in the corner with her BF & baby... then SD got my permission to spend an hour with BM after the party (I thought BM had agreed) and when SD asked her, BM said "no honey, I've got to get the baby home, it's such a long drive... I don't know how HE'S lasted THIS long!", like coming to her party was a major inconvenience. I mean the baby was sleeping the whole time... he was a month old. That was a HUGE eye opener for SD... BM did that right in front of me & MIL. mattie~ If someone had told me as a young adult, that I would witness so many mother's not parenting their own children, I would not have believed it. I had my first when I was still 17. I made a choice to be a parent. Abortion was legal, I could have chosen adoption (because I am pro-life), but my choice was to be a parent & take the responsibility for my actions, since my child was not planned. I NEVER imagined that dumping my child off on anyone else, including the father, was an option. I was flabbergasted when I met my exBF. HE had three children & their mother had walked out for a new boyfriend. She came to see the kids once or twice a year.. never called or saw them on holidays or birthdays, never bought them anything or paid support. But, then I got a job in social services & then I really saw how many kids are being raised by father's, grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins, siblings, etc. & foster care. and within my own family, I have a couple of female cousins & a sister that left the children to pursue their own life (with or without someone else) but they walked away too. I thought the bonding & love that developed between me & my children when I was pregnant & as they grew up, was something ALL women felt for their offspring. It is somewhat understandable if men don't have that same bonding experience, because they don't physically carry, give birth & nurse the baby. IMO, the maternal instinct is to nurture & protect your offspring & the paternal instinct is to protect & provide for the offspring. Maybe that's why it's so hard for me to comprehend how a mother can not want to nurture her child, but put herself first & use her own child to further her own agenda. and I do think this affects me more because I have my own (deep) issues with my own mother. I was just telling my dad yesterday, that I am 41 years old & still have not given up completely that my mother would be different. I have accepted that we will never have a mother/daughter relationship where we go shopping, get our nails done & have lunch. I've grieved it as it is a loss & have accepted that she isn't that kind of mother, but then again it is something that I hope could happen... even though I know it isn't likely, which is what SD does with her mom.. she knows she isn't getting from her mom what she wants, she just hasn't gotten to the point of accepting that that's the way it is. I think she's getting there & it's a painful journey.. I know because I've been there. That is where all of my anger toward BM three years ago came from... I knew we'd get to this place and it made me angry that I could do nothing about it. I actually feel bad for BM & DIL because they might think they can make up for it later & have that relationship someday... the one my mom once talked about with me, but it never happened because those relationships take time & energy. Those kinds of mothers don't want to invest their time & energy into building it, then wonder what went wrong with it's not there later. I feel sad for BM & DIL that they are missing out on so much with their children... but it's not really about MY feelings.

When we lived in town we got to meet everyone in a three block radius, giving them the mail we had erronelously received. Of course, they got to meet us while giving us our mail, too! We had mail delivered to our driveway, complete with tire marks; one who always delivered the mail slightly damp (he had a sweaty palm problem, to put it mildly); packages delivered to the wrong address and when we complained, "someone from the post office went and picked it up and we don't know where it is". When we confronted the Postmaster and the mail deliverer about the missing packages and mail delivered anywhere to anyone, the deliverer said, "Well, I'm just human" and the postmaster backed her up! Now we are on a rural delivery route, and the difference is amazing! When we moved in, Bobby, who delivers our mail, stopped and introduced himself and asked the names of the people living here so he wouldn't be delivering the previous owners mail to us. If he has a package he honks his horn, and if we don't come out, he puts it in the mailbox if it fits, and on the porch if it doesn't. He is definitely on my "cookies at Christmas" list!