Maybe this is overly simplistic, but if he seems to enjoy the attention he gets when he misbehaves, perhaps he is misbehaving to get more attention. It's a classic, common problem for young children, and while you sound very pleased (and indeed, fortunate) to have an experienced and capable foster mom for your son, she may not be giving him quite the same level of attention he would get from you. Honestly, that would be a lot to expect... The programs you are asking about seem to be "fix him" type programs. "Just play the tape while he's asleep and it'll all get better." or "Have him watch the video about how to be good." Yeah - right. I'd expect that only a very 'hands-on' program with a high degree of parental involvement would be really effective pretty quickly. On the bright side though, getting him back seems like a good and natural time to start implementing an effective program. 1-2-3 Magic is a great program. There's a video you can watch about implementing it that is 100% worth your time to see. Don't let anyone convince you that a 'quickie verbal 'how-to' is all you need. There are pieces of the system, such as being sure you have his attention, maintaining eye contact, tone of voice, making it 100% clear that you expect compliance and waiting until you get it -- SO many things that the video illustrates and explains that a 'here's how it works' talk will miss. So get your hands on that video. 'Natural Consequences' is a discipline philosophy that may or may not have it's own 'program video', but it's very effective with strong-willed children. The whole idea is that misbehavior causes bad things to happen, and that the bad things are a direct result of the bad behavior. Touch a hot stove - you burn your finger. So for the car-seat incident, a good natural consequence would be that the trip (if it's a fun one) immediately gets cancelled. "We can't go if you can't stay buckled in your car seat - sorry." Or if it's not a fun trip, stop now, but go again later, cancelling another fun activity because you have to run that errand. Or sit by the side of the road until he buckles up (however long it takes), then sadly have to miss a fun activity because of the time wasted sitting at the side of the road. You get the idea -- The bad behavior causes an unpleasant consequence. The flip side of this strategy is positioning a positive for right after an unpleasant chore. "We'll have our snack right after we pick up these toys." Another strategy that might work is called 'social stories' -- It's used mainly for autistic children to teach them appropriate social interractions and what to expect in situations that might cause anxiety, but basically, they're stories that explain in explicit and concrete terms how certain situations work and what the 'good' or 'appropriate' behavior for that situation is. For example, a trip to the dentist might include getting into the car seat and staying buckled, waiting patiently in the waiting room and playing quietly until it's our turn, sitting calmly in the chair and opening his mouth when the dentist asks and not biting the dentist! It would explain that the dentist uses a lot of funny-looking tools that sometimes make loud or strange sounds, and that the sounds, while strange, won't hurt, and that these tools are used to keep his teeth healthy and strong. Again - the basic idea is to explain about the situation, in advance, in enough detail to remove the anxiety-provoking 'unknown' and give the child a model of behavior to follow. It's amazing how effective these stories can be. And last but certainly not least -- One of my favorites is to catch him being good and offer explicit praise. "That was really nice when you shared your truck with Johnny!" or "You did a great job brushing your teeth tonight - thank you!" Praise and success are the best kinds of attention there is -- Best of luck to you --

The reason I thought it was bad behavior is that he uses the box all the other times...We have 2 other boxes and he does have a favorite which he runs to during the day...He's a very spoiled little fellow and I thought maybe he was showing us he was upset about something....

K, so I took her to the doctor today. The vet said some of the same things that you said but no, she's not afraid of thunderstorms. We haven't had rain all week. No rain is anticipated until Saturday. I will watch her closely when we do have a storm but I'm sure she won't do much of anything except sleep. The doctor also said that her hearing could be the problem but her hearing is fine. She's just as responsive as ever. She does seem to be a little stiff on her feet after laying down in the kitchen for a long time, but I'm not sure if it's because of her joints or because her foot fell asleep or something else. Why I say that is because she lies in a tight ball on her bed in the kitchen because it's underneath the desk, kind of like a cave and she doesn't curl up so tightly anywhere else. Also because she doesn't act stiff when she gets up from anywhere else in the house. Also her bed in the kitchen is pretty well padded. It's actually an overstuffed pillow. She does sometimes, not always, have some slowness going up the stairs and jumping onto beds. Her appetite definably doesn't seem to be off from what I can see. I can't be 100% certain though because she self feeds and there are days she eats a lot of her kibble and days where the bowl seems to last for a long time. She still gets just as excited as ever over treats. Also, she's not licking her lips or showing the whites of her eyes or growling or groaning or whining, which I know a lot of dogs will do when in pain. Her last check up was the beginning of this month. Do you mean her last complete check up with blood work? Anyways, since I asked about joint pain, the dr told me not to raise her joint supplement dose because it's already pretty high and she gave me pain killers to see if I notice any difference.

You may have simply missed a signal that you dog needed to go out. Since he hasn't had an accident in many months, I assume you have him on a schedule. Aside from that, think about what may have been different before bed time. Did he play and gulp lots of water? Did he just drink lots of water because he was hot? Did he go out for relief before bed? Dogs this age do gulp lots of water, especially when playing. Try and target what may have caused this to happened. Some dogs this age also can take a step back and have an accident. It could have just been an isolated incident, but there is really no way of knowing. You need to fix the problem and the only way to do it is to take a few steps back in the potty department. I would try supervision for a week or two when not crated, along with regular relief trips outside. Document times dog goes out, what he does and the time. This will help you and your dog figure out what is going on, and it will also help correct things. I would also say that calling your vet to inform him/her is a good idea, and I would also ask for their input. This does not mean that you need to take the dog in, just ask for advice and research what they say. If the accident happens again, voice your concern to the vet again, and bring up your concern about a UTI, although, with male dogs this is not very common. Since the accident on the bed has only happened once, ban the dog from the bed for a few months. He still has some maturing to do. Crating when you cannot supervise is essential to fixing this problem if there is no medical issue. Some here may consider this a marking problem. IÂm of the opinion that itÂs pee in the house any way you look (and smell) it and the issue needs to be fixed. Depending on how bad the problem is, will depend on how far back in the potty department you need to go to correct it. SG