so confused with everything HELP!!!

faziefaye

wish id never asked for advice all i got was judgemental ppl

This post was edited by faziefaye on Tue, Mar 4, 14 at 9:37

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colleenoz

I have to ask, why the hell you got pregnant to someone you had only been with for three months and who was "terrified" of your child. What a mess you have made for yourself.
Do not abandon your older daughter for this man. A truly decent man would not be espousing lines like ''why should i support a child that has a father that is capable of it (he doesnt have a job and spent 3 years in prison)'' . Yes, it would be great if your older daughter's father did support her but it's not her fault that he doesn't and she should not be bearing the brunt of your partner's ire. Venting frustration on a small child who has no control of the situation is unacceptable.
So your older daughter may have ADHD. Yes, she may have difficulty controlling her behaviour but if you all put in the effort it's not an insurmountable problem. It will take some give and take though, especially while she's still learning.
Have you tried family counselling? If you can't all get on the same page it is not fair on your older girl to be made the family scapegoat. Make it clear to your partner this is a dealbreaker and follow through if he doesn't get his act together.
Why would you have a "messy" custody battle if you split up? If you can both behave like adults there would be no issues.
And if you do split up, do not be in a hurry to get into another relationship. Choose very carefully (if at all) and do not get pregnant until you have seen how well he treats your two girls.

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sylviatexas1

Throw this guy back;
what kind of a person would place the 'responsibility for her own behavior' on any 7-year-old, let alone a hyper one?

Luckily for bf it's ADHD;
he'd have a hard time justifying blaming her for diabetes or asthma...

Throw him back, focus on taking care of your 2 little ones, make your own life for yourself, & take my mother's advice (although meaner than a snake, she was very perceptive):

"Sylvia, if you *have* to bring home strays, concentrate on the dogs & cats & leave the men out of it."

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