Susan, according to what I can find on the internet they are called strawberry geraniums, strawberry begonias, or Mother of Thousands. http://home.att.net/~larvalbugrex/begonias.html I have always called them begonias because that is what they look like to me. They are certainly perennial in my beds. In fact they are very tough. There were growing on the north side of my house when I moved in and I moved some to the east side, which is the bed in the picture. I had some very young hostas growing there and needed ground cover until the hosta grew a little. We have had to dig up part of that bed several times because of a construction project and once for a water leak, but they just keep coming back. The name is interesting because they are neither a begonia, geranium, or a strawberry, but their growth habit is much like a strawberry. They send out runners, and make new plants and they grow very shallow. I need to go try and rescue some more of them, I guess, because I mow them down in one area every year. The blooms will last 3 or 4 weeks, then I will deadhead them. They are still a pretty plant because the foliage is so unusual. My peppers are looking OK, but some are still very small. Since I was carting those green pots back and forth to keep them warm, I just left some in cups so I could bring in a tray of cups rather than many more pots. I counted them yesterday, and I still have 8 more to pot up. That was to be my morning project if it didn't rain. I woke up to the rain this morning, but I think it has passed and our weather is supposed to clear today. It is a strange gardening year as I only planted my yardlong beans yesterday, but have tomato plants blooming. I think it is obvious that my container plants are going to be better than my garden plants. I am not the gardener that some of you are. I do fine with my vegtables but my flower beds are not that great. As soon as the construction is completed (if ever) I am going to work on the ornamentals. I have some clematis and a hybiscus waiting to go in the ground and plan to buy some additional scrubs. Just trying to do a few things to make our little old lake house look better. I would like some blooming plants that would attract the butterflies, but I want them to grow 5-10 feet tall. A lady offered me some red cannas yesterday and I am going to go get some of them. She said they were giants with a red bloom, so I am anxious to have a few. They had beautiful maroon foliage. I only have green ones, so I appreciated her offer. This lady has to use a walker to get around, but has a beautiful yard and garden. She was weeding a flower bed when I arrived there, but holding onto a pole. She had big wide rows between her veggies and told me this is because she puts down a mat and crawls so she can weed her garden. I guess gardeners will do most anything to garden.

Pennylane-- I don't want to be guilty of encouraging you to flout the advice of your counselor (who is a professional, and I of course am not), but I would encourage you to discuss with him the idea of you dealing with SD directly when it comes to the more vague issues of "attitude" and "respect". With appropriate assertiveness (not passiveness or aggressiveness) and without meting out "punishments" per se, but more of a *discussion* with her. Run it by him and see if he might reconsider his advice somewhat. I say this, again, not because I am in a position to have an "expert" opinion on blended families, but because I am a stepdaughter, and one common thread among other stepchildren I know is that the SP/SK relationship is made so much worse when it is perceived that one or more parties is being "manipulative" or is untrustworthy, and this perception results from an INDIRECT approach. Whether it's the SK or the SP doing it, it spells the beginning of the end for a decent relationship. You don't want to risk creating an impression to your SD that you are two-faced, passive-aggressive or are "hiding behind" your DH and expecting him to fix all of your interpersonal problems (including the one with SD) for you. Aside from eroding trust and encouraging similarly indirect behavior on SD's part, I dare say it also undermines the very thing you seek to improve in the situation: her respect for you. I can honestly say that the number one factor that has made me fully give up on having any sense of respect for my SM or any desire to "work with her" is exactly this sort of thing. If she had had the guts to actually TELL ME if/when something I did/said/was upset her, instead of resorting to the little digs (with a big grin) she felt were her only permitted recourse to express her displeasure with me, I would have seen her as not only a person worth respecting but also as an honest human being who I'd WANT to be close to. It was very hard for me to see her as a fully-formed ADULT WOMAN when she was constantly "tattling" to my Dad about whatever her grievances were. Moreover, in her case she drastically distorted the things she relayed to him which painted me in the worst possible light, and since these things were never discussed with ME directly, I had no chance to explain (or in certain cases just plain CORRECT) some of the misperceptions, so it was pretty much impossible to see her as trustworthy or as an agent of anything other than discord in my relationship with my father. Therefore, she never earned my genuine respect, nor my desire to "work with her" even though her tantrums to MY DAD made it so I was terrified for years to do or say anything to upset the apple cart. So she got her surface compliance out of my stuffing myself for years, but it certainly didn't improve ---and in fact severely worsened--- anything deeper between us than the shallowest "hi, how's it going"/"oh, fine..." And I dare say I don't think it helped her relationship with my Dad. For several reasons, but one of them being that expecting him to "fix" something that is so inherently vague and emotional and open to perception as "attitude" and "respect" is pretty much impossible, and no one knows this more than the bio-parent in the middle. It's one thing to have clear rules/consequences for clear actions or infractions. For example, an eye-roll is clear enough to be called out ***IF HE SEES IT HAPPEN***... But the problem comes in when/if it happens when he is not around, due to the underlying distrust and disrespect which will be made no better by the "hiding behind DH" approach. Please at least run this by your counselor. I'm not a professional, but I did experience this from the other side, and I think if you ask other adult SK's on here they'll agree with me.

Would it help if you stopped worrying so much about family members giving gifts to everyone? My family stopped this long ago because there were too many siblings and in-laws and grandchildren. We used to exchange names so that if you had two kids, you gave presents to two neieces and nephews. But that's also stopped since we're older and most of the cousin's are married with their own kids. I think it's better when people don't expect gifts. It's too much when you have to worry about buying stuff for every family member and how many people these days end up in debt because they do this? We've gotten to the point where I make crafts for our parents because that way they get something and it's more personal but that's it. That way we have the money to spend on our son or the gifts to one another and we're not paying a million bills back after the holidays. I don't think it's supposed to all be about gift giving either. Enjoy the time you spend together and don't expect much. Now my family plays dirty bingo. We all buy cheapy gifts from like the Dollar Store or something and they go on a pile in the center of the room. We get numbers and as someone calls your number you go get a gift or take one from someone else's pile. We have fun playing the game and who cares if all we have at the end are hair scrunchies and matchbox cars? LOL Also, you can go ahead and forward any e-mails but be ready for anything that's coming to you. Someone in my family tried doing that just to cause a fight and well we're now written out of my MIL's life because she mistook the e-mail and assumed stuff and decided she hates me without knowing the story. I think that I wouldn't be calling everyone about the e-mail and wait and see if something is said to you from someone else. If Christmas comes and they don't get anything for your family, they will be the ones looking bad.

Geez, that is so grade-school. No you did nothing wrong. It is only natural you are closer to the the sister that includes you and her brother in her family plans. It's probably better you weren't invited up north, I have a good idea that you would have been probably made to feel out of your element anyway. Good for you for having a nice time with SIL, ignore the rest of them. They need to grow up. ~Cat