Oh dear. 1. keys 2. wallet with driver's license, money, credit, library & insurance cards 3. Band-Aid 4. card with 3 Gas-X pills 5. card with 8 Meclizine pills that seem to have expired last October 6. inhaler 7. key to my daughter's house 8. case for reading glasses that I wear whenever I am inside 9. checkbook with bank card & a couple of discount cards pen Blistex lipstick lip liner emery board package with 3 Stim-U-Dents 2x3 mirror in plastic case paper towel in baggie with 3 more Gas-X that are coloring the towel lavender a $20 bill so I'm never broke ticket stubs for "Julie & Julia" and "Harry Potter" Admit One stub, to where I have no idea receipt for a key fob battery that I bought in June receipt for gift shoes for my husband receipt for his birthday dinner at a steak house business card for a medical office one Quality Stree chocolate five Breath Savers a red & white wrapped hard candy that I just threw out large paper napkin (the nice, soft kind) Sigh - I suppose it could be worse...

I'm sorry to hear of your mom's troubles, Clare. And I'm really sorry for you-- when it rains, it pours!! Thank goodness she has settled down a bit and hopefully the thought of "getting out" will keep her doing what she's supposed, or not supposed to do. My mom spent a week in a rehab place this past fall after minor back surgery and surprised us all by almost enjoying it. She lives alone and is fairly self-sufficient so having to be there was not palatable to her. But she made friends fairly quickly and was in quite a good mood when I spoke to her (I live 600 mi away.) Of course, she was ambulatory, but your mom will get to that point soon enough. If I can sound bossy, ask your sister to keep good tabs on what the staff is doing and not doing and make sure that your mom is actually eating. A lot of the times the food isn't too good and patients' conditions can deteriorate if they aren't eating much. And have your sister double-check meds given too. Sorry 'bout that! Are you feeling better today? I wished I lived closer to you so we could meet for coffee. You've had a full plate and need some support! Erin

It sounds like you just need to vent and have a place you can do that w/o being judged. I'm happy to listen if you need a friend (vistajpdf@aol.com). I'm also a stepmom to 3 kids in their 20's and I have MANY days when I am very resentful of them and their mother, who has been basically no help in any way. So, I do understand where you're coming from. Like you, I have 3 little boys who need me and since my adult stepdd moved in after Thanksgiving (I housed her brother for years in the late 90's, early 00's), I often feel, "I didn't sign up for THIS!" So, I do feel for you. You know you can't turn your back on this boy and deep down, I hope you don't really want to. Kids can have a drug-abusing, physically abusive prostitute for a mother, whom they will call for in the middle of the night for some strange reason. You and I know it takes more to being a mom than just giving birth, but to kids, even the worst mother is still a mother. You may not have PPD (though women do have 80 times the normal levels of estrogen after delivering a baby), but my guess is that your sleep-deprived w/ a newborn and a preschooler running around. (DMD degree from Univ. of FL, '91, lol) I'm also still in a state of sleep deprivation and my boys are nearly 3, 5, and 7. If I had a depressed adolscent on my hands, I'm thinking I would be the one headed for the looney bin. Take help if anyone's offering - your family, your husband's family a friend or neighbor and take a few hours for yourself - even if what you really need is just a long nap. You'll be more patient and clear headed if you're better rested. Secondly, regardless of what it takes, you could all use some counseling during this difficult time of adjustment. I've heard that finding a good therapist is like finding a good husband. You have to kiss a lot of toads, lol. Keep looking, get referrals from a trusted physician or friend and get help for your ss and yourself. It sounds like you're a lot like me and just venting to a forum, writing down thoughts, etc, helps. But, sharing it with a trained professional (once you find the right one) could be priceless. Be direct - men, and certainly that includes boys, are not mindreaders. Sometimes I expect my husband and my SD to "see" the things I see as far as cleaning up goes. They don't. Be very specific and say, "It would really help me if this became your job." Hopefully he can grow to help you and you can use the help. Good luck, Dana

Inc... you are not the only mean SM ... SKs used to have a "friend" who would be at the house at 7am rule back then they couldn't go out till 10 am ... now they don't leave the house!!! Hubby and I laugh punishment would be making them go outside... I have only one real rule this summer ... however many hours you spend on the comp/video games (because you are afterall teenagers) ...is how many hours you cannot play once you are done that does not include sleeping or being at mom's.... so if you wake up at 9am and head to the comp or video game and do not get off till midnight .. that's 15 hours you cannot be on it ... so you have to regulate your time!! they are now playing a couple hours at a time rather than not playing at all the next 2 days ...:) SS13 has been complaining of 'stomach aches' but can sit at the comp for hours ... was pi$$ed at me because I made him make a real meal instead of snacking all day ... how dare I say make a sandwich (instead of making it for him!!) Conversation went like this ... why don't you eat a sandwich or have a bowl of cereal instead of crackers... because I don't feel like it I want crackers well don't complain later that your stomach hurts if you haven't eaten but I ate I had crackers really so I can serve crackers for dinner and you'll be happy after all you ate ... no crackers aren't dinner so what makes crackers lunch???? insert rolling of eyes and snapping of tongue! .. My favorite excuse for staying up late ... they are on "vacation" ... well I am not so I don't want to hear kids at midnight! when I have to be up at 6am. GO TO BED!