I need your help to respond to my ex-wife
I was upset with this email, because she is going back to the past, back to accusation, poking, punching, put down, bashing etc. Some of the things what was said in the email was correct and it's past, it is been five years. I did flip flop because not having a stable jobs, debts, legal troubles. Now I do understand, do's and don't. All this happened or hurt caused to one and another, because we did not value one and another. Now it is been five years, She has moved on... So did I.
I don't understand a new beginning brings back shi.. load from the past and call it new beginning. How you respond to it. I just need help to respond so that I am not going back to the old shi..
Please do reply to email@example.com . I would like to hear your thoughts, wanted to understand your view reading this email. I could be wrong and I could have misunderstood the entire email too. Every one of your opinion does count.
Below is the content of the email:
Happy New Year! I hope this is a new beginning with more solutions for both of us.
I am back from my vacation. I spent some quality time with xxx and she is very happy to be cared and loved.
I am immensely pleased to hear that you are in a position to step up to take your fatherly responsibilities; I understand that you want to settle some of the arrears (including spousal support) and want to continue to support as per the legal settlement. Please let me know if my understanding is accurate.
If it is so, I am willingly to work with you outside of the court. There are two options to work this smoothly.
- To work through Child support organization and send the payments through CSS so that you can get credit for all your payments directly from the Government. By doing this you will have a clean record with DCSS as you continue to pay all the arrears and hence you will not have to accuse me (like you did in your email) of not reporting the amount you send. I really think it is the best option. The legal proceedings and the case may be closed, but we can use DCSS for ongoing support establishment.
- If you have any hesitation in working through DCSS, you can wire transfer the money to my account in the bank.
- If you have any better idea, I can definitely consider and evaluate it.
Even though I have full legal custody of xxx, I want her to have a father and I am willing to work with you to keep her happy. So, I need to be convinced that you have the ability to keep your word and honor your commitment to provide full support for xxx (as you mentioned to her) before we raise her hopes and expectations. This is very important to me after what she has been through. I can only bring her back to the U.S. for the upcoming school year after I am convinced of your sincerity. I am not interested in "dÃ vu" all over again.
I want you to have the opportunity to prove that you have changed and you have the potential to be a responsible "Father" (unlike in the last few years where she was continuously disappointed due to lack of any communication from you). I am sure she wants you to be a part of her life and I trust that you will not deprive her of your fatherly love and financial support.
I want to assume that you are not up to your old tricks like monitoring my IP address or illegally intruding my e-mails etc. This makes our communication more difficult if not impossible.
Hoping for a constructive change .
I felt bashing, punching, put down, accusation, treating me like a child. Things much better from my side, financial stability, no flip flops, keep up my word, solid commitment etc.