Get your son to write down the pros and cons of living with Mom and then living with Dad. I think you also need to tell him that he needs to make a choice on which one to live with that he cannot move back and forth just because he doesn't like the rules at one house or the other.
My SD and SS did this when I first married my husband. SS when back and forth 2x before we told him one house or the other. SD made the choice to live with us and not her mother shortly after we were married and we were very happy about this. No rules at Mom's house was allowing this girl to skip school and also run away from home with a friend. Once moving in with us she was a 4.0 student her Junior and Senior years of high school. We had problems with her but she never tried to use moving to her mothers as leverage because she knew that once she made the decision to move to her mothers, she couldn't come back to our house. Kids don't learn how to cope and work things out if they are not made to live up to their decisions. They need to know that it not only effects them, but the rest of the family. Be firm and loving. His Father should be the one to set down the final rules and carry them out though or you will just end up being the bad guy in the whole situation. Good Luck

We just went through this with my SD (13) just before school started, she had wanted to live with her mom ever since the divorce, her mom talked to my DH and asked if he would let my SD move (we live in OH and she lives in IN) with her. We both sat her down and talked to her, told her that it wouldn't be a swinging door, but it was a decision that we were letting her make, we did point out some things that wouldn't be good about the move..school (I did research on the school she would have gone to)... BM live in boyfriend, leaving family here....etc. We told her to think about it for a few days (which she thought about for over a week) once she thought about it she decided that she would stay with us. She has said many times that she doesn't want to move, granted I understand that this may change. I think the biggest thing is to have both of you sit down and really talk about the impact a move like that would make, especially since she is moving far away. What was the reason that he gave for moving with the two of you in the first place, you may want to bring that up, and see what happens. I completely agree with MIStepmom with kids needing to learn how to cope and work things out, if they don't bigger problems will come later.

Good Luck

my son says the same thing from time to time of wanting to live with me, I think its because we're the fun time school's out, holiday parents! When I tell him, he would have the same rules as up at his dads (+/- a few)and have to go to school just the same down here with us, then he says "well, I'm not sure if I want to move yet" Granted I dont tell him this to scare him away from wanting to live with us, but to make sure he understands how things really work! Just as adults do, when children hit a certain age, they start to think the grass is greener on the other side, when things are not going all there way! Ask him what he thinks hes going to get from mom, that dad is not giving him (to strict), talk to mom and see if dads and her rules are similar or very different. If the child knows that moms rules are going to be close to the same that dad has laid out, then maybe he's mind will change about wanting to move back. Ask him what's going on, maybe there is some stuff he's not sharing with you, but once he shares his feelings, may want to stay with dad.......... Good Luck!

If he has only lived with his father for a year, maybe it's not working out and he wants to go back to his mother's house. Actually, I don't find that such a strange thing. But you are right that he should give it some serious thought. I think the suggestion of having him write out pros and cons would be a good idea and it will give you a place to start in discussing the options with him. Best of luck to you.

In the first year after my divorce, my kids used to pull the same thing. For them, it wasn't so much that they wanted to live with their Dad, but they thought it was a scary threat to make me give them their way. Well, it did scare me for a while, but I got smart. One night I was not in the mood for games, so when my daugher told me she wanted to live with her Dad, I said "fine", pulled out a suitcase and started packing her clothes. I called her bluff, and she never thought I'd do that! Needless to say, she's still living with me and hasn't gone there again!

MOM 2 4 THAT WAS GREAT!!!! Laughed my butt off!!!