My father-in-law lived with us from age 86 until he died last year a few days after his 92nd birthday. He had numerous aches and pains when he first arrived. We bought one of those electric beds for him, twin XL size, with a remote control. It raised and lowered at head and knees and had a vibrating feature. We attached the bed to a regular twin headboard that matched the other furniture in his "suite." We also put an egg crate topper and a regular WATERPROOF mattress pad on the bed, then flannel sheets. Cozy. His main exercise every day was making the bed, the bending and stretching that he did in performing the task kept him more limber than if I had made the bed for him. It turned out that DFIL hadn't been to a doctor in years and I started taking him in every three months, just like changing the oil in the car. The doctor put him on several medications and his quality of life improved a lot. Three squares and interacting with the family helped, too. Bringing him to live with us was a lifesaver for him and enriched our family. You may find that your mother hasn't been seeing doctors on a routine basis, so living with you may immediately improve her access to medical care. I agree with the previous poster completely about pain management and investigating that route. We spent about $1,100 for the bed and it was money well invested. You could try looking at classified ads and estate sales for such a bed at a lower cost. My teen daughter cannot live without her feather bed, it's like a four-inch-thick mattress pad. A feather bed might be more comfortable for your mother than an egg crate or foam topper. We bought ours at the mail-order (also web) Company Store.

You're participating in his assaults by NOT reporting him. How will you feel if next week he abuses that little baby and it dies? Will you feel badly that you could have done the right thing and reported it, but didn't? or will you just be glad it wasn't you he killed? I'm sorry--really I am--to be so blunt, but you're describing a very serious situation. Your son SHOULD be in jail. He won't learn to grow up and be responsible until those around him insist that he face the appropriate consequences for his actions. At the very least, Monday morning, call your lawyer, sit down with him/her, tell them everything. Find out what your responsibilities are (could you be charged with a crime if you DON'T report the crimes you know he's committed?) and what your options for protecting yourself are. Get the right answers from a professional in your jurisdiction. And while you're at it, please also research shelters in your area. Keep that info on you, just in case you or the baby's mother need it. I do wish you the best, but I also hope you realize what you have to do and do it.

I get very emotional when knowing that i am spoken ill of...its just a reaction. I get angry. I'm human. But i've also learned not waste time on it. Well...not too much time anyways:) I've basically learned to disengage of the years and i'm basically turning indifferent to the situations. i dont treat anyone special. So my Dh has two kids and we've gone through some turmoil..but i've stood my ground on each occasion. Do they hate me? I dont' know? Maybe they are hating me now since they are hitting their teens. most important question: Do i care? NO. I honestly have reached the point of not caring. If you dont like me, too bad. STay away. I've shed alot of negative people out of my life. Friends, family, and my marriage has improved. It really has. I was about to divorce my DH last year. Went for counciling and realized, BM and her kids were not worth it. BM wants my DH miserable, uses her kids as pawns against him. So i've turned the tables. I confronted my Dh. Told him i understand his depression, his disappointment with his kids and told him its not his fault. Its BM.All the things she has done and said over the years. Granted thsi past year she has been quiet because she has issues she is dealing with under her household...and hte kids are spending less time with us. Whichof course makes her happy. She enjoys trying tomake my DH miserable. But he has begun shaking these emotions off and stepping bakc and saying, its not my fault. And when hsi kids try to guilt him he turns it aroudn and tells them, YOUR DECISIONS, NOT MINE, THEREFORE NOT MY FAULT. ALL YOUR FAULT. I'm so proud of him. For not taking anymore emotional abuse from BM or his kids. Its sad, yes they are stuck inthe middle, but they are also at an age of learning. ANd they must learn to respect another person. to not manipulate situations and to honestly love someone , and not call because they just 'want' materialistic things. THey are both good kids. They are. They are growing. But have been trained not to have us as family by BM due to her insecurities. They all wil have to live with it when grown up. Me. i'm concentrating on my family and trying to be happy. Nikemama, chin up. Be glad and proud of yourself as a human being and a wife that you honestly tried to help and love another person. And continue to be happy because you are a good person. And if stepson says he 'hates' (which he doens' tknow the true meaningof..) then let him hate. Continue to be happy. If your SS wants to be miserable, then its his decision to do so. Why be stress if someone else chooses this? My Sd tried to pull this one on me, and say your not my mom. I said ya your right...then i went out and enjoyed myself like Disengage did. She's also never used that card on me since. Kids, all kids, will test their boundaries. Thats what they do ...we all did that in various degrees. Enjoy your time and concentrate on being happy.

First, bless you for being willing to try, but, second, don't take it to heart if this doesn't work. SS has spent his entire life in a very cushy environment with few if any rules, & although he may be sincere about wanting a different experience, he doesn't have any idea just how different real life is. 'My husband...feels we should ease in to (the rules) and not throw all these changes at him all at once.' If a new member of the household is permitted to, say, stay up all night on the computer on day one, when do you think you should take that away from him? What reason do you think you could come up with to explain the change? How would you convince him that rules mean anything? Consistency & structure are the very things that make your environment different from his mother's & grandfather's, & that consistency & structure need to be present, predictable, & stable from the very first. I wish you the best.