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Mother of Estranged Teenage Son

12 years ago

My eldest son has lived with his father since Aug, 2003, not because of anything negative or harmful that I did to him, but because I moved closer to my employment and he wanted to stay in the school district he had grown to know.

Just in the past year and a half (15 1/2 yrs old), he has stopped talking to me or his brother, stopped coming over for visitation. He won't answer my calls or text, I never heard from him over the holidays last year, missed his 16th birthday, prom and everything else that is going on in his life.

The situation that developed that began the distance between my son and I was over him and his brother wrestling in the living room and then my oldest son took his hand and hit his younger brother in the head and slammed it to the ground. This is something that I WON'T put up with for no reason... and so we had words, he stormed out and I have only seen him once since then in a restaurant and he wouldn't even speak to me then.

I was always there for him growing up... making sure he had everything that he needed, I was involved in his extra-curricular activities - Cub Scout Leader (because his dad wouldn't), Pine Derby Cars, Biggest Chearleader at his sporting events, Team Mother of his Youth Football team, etc. etc.... I have NEVER deserted him at anytime....

I have tried to contact him in several different ways... phone, txt, certified letter and even a hand delivered letter (asking why he wouldn't speak to me or try and work this out) by his grandmother - still nothing...

This is his "Senior" year in HS (17 years old) and his father took him to get his "Senior Pictures" taken and they have told the portrait studio to NOT let me have any access to his pictures....

I have had several parents that know the both of us, get pictures for me at events that I knew nothing about. I just feel like a failure. I tried to install very good values and morals when he was younger before he went to live with his father and am told he is a very good young man, but I truly miss having a relationship with him. His father is not helping matters either as - they are buddies and he lets him do what he wants. He definately is not encouraging a relationship with me. Can someone give me some advice on how to deal with this loss? I NEVER imagined having this kind of relationship with my son, actually I had strived for the opposite....

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