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Step-mom to a child who doesn't speak english...

15 years ago


I am having a really hard time being a step-mom to my husband 10 year old son. He just recently came to live with my husband and I (husband is french, I am American and we live in france) and the first few months were ok though I am pretty fed up of only cleaning and cooking I don't really feel like a family. My step son only speaks french and my french isn't that good and even if I speak french he acts like he doesn't understand unless it is something he needs to communicate with me to get something. My husband knows it is hard for me but now thinks that all I do is bad mouth his son and he told me that he doesn't want to hear anything about his son from me anymore. He is my only outlet for communication to the kid and if I have a problem with his behaviour or lack of following rules I would hope that I could go to my husband to relay the message. (I understand it must be horrid to be the middle man) Just in the last two weeks SS has been absolutely horrible to mainly my husband and his BM. He has NO respect for elders and only looks at them as a source of food, toys and entertainment. He is only 10 and acts like a teen already. I just really can't take it anymore I can't even be in the same room as they are because if they aren't screaming at eachother SS is sickly sweet and I can't take how Dr. Jeckyll Mr. Hyde he is and he sees nothing wrong with his previous behaviour.

Yesterday he refused to eat because he said that all the dishes in the cupboard were dirty and that he wasn't going to eat off of something so disgusting. When we gave him the alternative to re-wash the dish he said he didn^'t feel he had to because it was our fault they were dirty. None of them were dirty and one of the things I pride myself on is a very clean house. I was thinking perhaps he was trying to take a stab at me for some reason.

His BM is insane. Constantly calling and trying to get him to move back to her because even though she called and told us 4 months ago that she couldn't handle him anymore and that he had to come live in our living room (in the middle of building a bigger house so we live in our one bedroom). She feels now (even though she was pre-warned) that she is available and since we work all day and he is alone alot it would be better for him to go back. This woman and taught him NO life skills. He knows how to take a shower, dress, and pour a bowl of cereal. He doesn't know how to even tie his shoes and he doesn't want to learn how to do anything himself either he doesn't think he has to.

I don't know what I am expecting from this post except mainly some sort of release. I am so frustrated of not being able to communicate and knowing that I have NO say on how this 10 year old lives under our roof. I feel so stuck and it is leading to me resenting him BIG TIME. I know it is mean but I hope he goes back to his mothers. Just so that perhaps I can learn not to resent him and perhaps try to gain some sort of good relationship with him. But as long as he continues to disrespect and do nothing under our roof I can't stand being around him.



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