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Pretty Ugly

12 years ago

For the record, I'm happily married but I don't know where else to post this. Every day I plan my outfits so as not to stand out. But I'm constantly judged on my looks! Today I had to make some copies. I walked past a few men. One of them loudly said, "Damn, she's hot." Another said, "No, she's not," just as loud! He actually wanted me to hear this. This is my daily life! I could name a million instances similar to this. Sometimes I can tell by people's facial expressions that they are assessing my looks and it drives me crazy. I've been approached to be a model several times, but I've also been told all my life that I have a big nose, bug eyes, etc. I just want to be able to do normal daily tasks without feeling like I'm standing in front of a panel of judges! I've tried anxiety medications and they only make things worse. If I was a stronger person I would turn to these people and say something, but I always walk on by. Right after I had my twins I couldn't go anywhere without people saying I had a big belly. Whatever happened to manners? Sometimes I worry for my children. How can I teach them to live in this world if I'm no good at it myself?

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