all i can advise is to try very hard not to think about it. this can be done, i have done it. with Alzheimer's patients it's call redirecting. get your mind on pleasant things, feel good movies and books. music also works for me. i also think about things like i am free of criticism and stress. life is good.

Thanks, Stargazer....good ideas. And yes, it is nice to be free of criticism and stress.

I went through the same thing when my ex finally moved out after 3 years of verbal and emotional abuse which had turned physical. There were other problems, too.

I expected to feel great but I just became depressed. Anticlimactic? Maybe. It took a few years to get my emotional legs under me again and recover from being abused. Find someone to talk to about how you are feeling. It's a normal part of the healing process but not a fun one. Exercising daily will help. Even a 1/2 hour brisk walk will do your mood a lot of good. It will release endorphins which do a quick job of lifting your spirits.

after i went through a very bad time and the problem was solved i was depressed. i asked my doctor about it and he told me that i had been living on adrenalin for months now there was none and my body had to adjust. withdrawal i guess.

i think the reason you're depressed is because you realize the finality of ending your marriage, and are remembering your hopes and dreams for it instead of the reality of it. first you said, "I'm sick of all his hateful mood swings. We've just drifted apart...we don't even sleep in the same bedroom. Drinking makes his snoring intolerable and he hasn't been a husband in quite awhile. " then you said "I miss him."

personally, i do think there is a time for anti-depressant medication. but the best anti-depressant of all is activity. get involved in some kind of caring, social group, whether it's a singles club, a sunday school class, gardening club, etc., and not to enjoy wallowing around in the basement of pain. i would definitely cut out the visits, whether they are to see the dogs or not. if you're serious about knowing it's the right thing to do, then cut the cord and cut it clean. the best thing to help him might be to see you growing and putting your life back together without him. without an enabler (willing or unwilling), it might help him pull himself out of his alcoholism.

thsi is just my personal opinion.

I would seriously consider getting some counselling, because the pros know how to listen, what questions to ask, and how to guide you to a better future without all the "baggage" weighing you down, plus they can also direct you to groups of others in the same boat as you, for weekly get togethers of sharing your feelings (and incidentally meeting others too). They will also know the best ideas for you to consider about what to do with yourself now, and how to deal with the crying. Being depressed (not just having a bad few weeks) is serious and should be addressed the same as any other illness by people trained to deal with it and not just give advice based on cliches and platitudes, however nice those might be.