Never wanted to get married

13 years ago

I've now turned 53 and have had no desire to ever get
married. I've dated and could have gotten married, but
that lifestyle never appealed to me. I always thought about the bad thing that could happen like divorce and child
support. I like my freedom too....plus it was financial. I
never viewed marriage as being anything so great. I would
like to her from others who share these feelings. I'm male, by the way.

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cacocobird

10 years ago

When I was a kid, I never wanted to get married -- my parents had an awful relationship. But I did get married and hated having someone else think he should be in control of my life. For various reasons, the marriage didn't work out and I was happy to be single again.

I got married again to a man I thought was my soul mate. I'd known him for years as a friend, and loved him very much. But somehow he turned into a raging, abusive alcoholic. He had always had mental problems.

Left when my daughter was two, and have never considered marriage again. I lived with a man five years, and felt like I was losing myself. I finally broke up with him and haven't had any desire to marry or live with anyone since then. I love living alone!

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Comments (7)

emma
13 years ago
I think you are a very smart man to know what you wanted out of life. I share your feelings now but not when I was younger. I read to many books, watched to many movies.....that is not real life. After my first marriage I still thought there was a chance to find the right man. My second husband was what I called old world gentleman. I loved him, everyone loved and respected him, but I wasn't happy. I realize now that I don't like marriage. I should have gone to college and worked all of my life. I am so free now, no one looking over my shoulder to see how much money I spent, "another new blouse", ex wife, step children. The life I live now is stress free, no tension at all. Well except for the president of our HOA. I won that battle so no tension at all now and he doesn't argue with me anymore. LOL

I do wish I had a male friend to travel with. If I were rich I would hire a young man to travel with. He could take care of the details and the luggage as pay for his trip.
DawnSmith
13 years ago
I agree! Date, be in a committed relationship, whatever your desire is. But why marry or even live together? I am personally going through this struggle now and the more I am honest with myself, the more I know why. Sharing space and finances with another person is difficult and trying on a relationship. Blending families is difficult. Omit all that and you have love, laughs, and good times. Hello, doesn't this scream NO Brainer! I was married once to a great guy. He wasn't such a great husband. We divorced and now we are friends and he is a great dad. We get along better than ever.
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kayjones
13 years ago
I agree 100%! I have no desire to remarry. I love having the power to make all my own decisions and not being responsible for anyone else's decisions.

Like Emma, I would love to have a gentleman to 'hang out with', do stuff with, but have NO desire to live with a man, under any circumstances, just to gain a companion.

I've met several men since my husband passed away 6 years ago, but the FIRST thing on their mind is sex (which I happen to love) and the second thing is wanting to co-habitate in MY house and live on MY MONEY - neither is going to happen, as far as I can see. I try to never say 'never' but I don't see it in my future.

I've traveled too many of the 'relationship roads' to spend the rest of my life worrying about/wondering about/questioning someone else's actions - been there, done that!
emma
13 years ago
Another reason for me not to marry is that I paid for 9 months of a care home for my husband which took half of my savings. I am afraid I would be in the same situation, caring for a man, possibly have to pay for a care home again. Another reason is if he has any delinquent bills I would have to pay them or my credit rating would go down hill. If he went out and bought a new care I would have to pay that if he defaulted. Marriage is a very financial dangerous situation. Been there, done that, never again.

Well, I am off my soap box and am going to go watch a couple of hours of Centennial. Good series.
User
10 years ago
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be single and not have kids. As long as you're a straight shooter about it and don't lead anyone on, then good for you!
twilliams115
10 years ago
I am a male, 58, and never been married with no kids. I had always wanted to be married or at least have a relationship. I came close a couple of times. The first one was when I was young. I met her when I was 16. At 21, she proposed to me and I turned it down. I felt like I was too young to get married and our relationship was an "on-again and off-again" type thing. I regretted it for some years later. I loved her a whole lot.

About 20 years ago a woman asked me to marry her. I didn't want to because I was not in love with her. I liked her as a friend and that was it. She loved me; so she said. I turned her down and we split as friends. I never regretted not marrying her.

And now it's been so long since I've had someone. The prospects for me to have someone does not look good at all. So I have resigned myself to the point that I will never get married. For now, I think that's OK. I feel a lot more content at knowing that I will never get married; or even have a relationship.

I had a possibility of a relationship (and possibly marriage) recently. She was a Chinese woman who was 60 years old. She had been married and divorced twice. She's living with her daughter. I did not feel attracted to her and I didn't like her that much. She seemed to have wanted to marry me. She couldn't speak English. I just lost patience with that.

Recently I had prostate cancer surgery. I have recovered very well (PRAISE GOD!). But I feel like it has taken away my ability to get aroused; and among other things that go with the post-surgery (if you get my drift!).

Never wanted to get married

cacocobird

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emma

DawnSmith

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