Oooh, that's a tough one. You could remove it from the frame, roll up the canvas and store it. Or (depending on how it is mounted) maybe you could put another painting or picture in front of it. You could take a really good photo of the painting and then send the original off to Goodwill.

My mother has large portraits that have been painted on somewhat... (whatever it is that they did in the 60s) in her sitting room. I have never liked mine - I look like I'm about to cry - and will probably burn it when the time comes.

I get so frustrated at times, I'll donate to a local charity for their thrift shop. Some things that are too nice to donate, I've listed on several local trading pages. So far, I've only sold one small Karastan rug. If they don't sell in a few months, I'll just say WTH and donate.

This post was edited by allison0704 on Wed, Jul 3, 13 at 10:44

I have a garage full of stuff that I inherited from my aunt. It was too valuable to donate and I thought I'd get into selling on ebay or etsy, but I'm not motivated about it. So I am slowly cleaning things up and donating them to the children's hospital thrift store in my area. I feel better than giving them to goodwill, like the benefit seems better to me.

There were many photos, some of them old of her husband and her only son, who are both dead. There were no other family members to give them to, no one. It always makes me sad to see old photos at antique stores; someone's relatives that no one cared about, so I burned them all. I had a little ceremony and tried to do it with respect - I just knew it would haunt me to send them off for others to paw through, even tho' those old photos are in demand. I felt really good afterwards and recommend that if you decide to do it with your portrait. You have no children who may someday want it? If you have children, you could also give it to one of them now and tell them they can do what they'd like with it, then you'll never know what happened to it, but it's gone from you.

This might not apply to something as personal as a portrait, but I learned recently that things eventually find places. They just magically do.

My mom recently decided to sell her garden home here in Alabama and move to a small retirement apartment in Texas, near my brother. And while she did a great job whittling down to what she wanted to take with her, the job of dealing with all the leftover . . . stuff . . . fell to me (and is still falling, to some degree). It's not like she had anything of great value (we're just not that kind of family), but there was a lot of variation in what was leftover -- from excess tupperware and pyrex to cheap decor items, to a 1920s secretary.

A lot of the household stuff went in a neighborhood garage sale. But this was before a lot of the whittling was done, so . . . I put the word out to my stepsons and their wives about stuff that was free for the taking. They're all young and poor, and I got rid of some stuff that way. Some big, awkward stuff (broken fridge, wicker TV armoire, BBQ grill, two old tube TVs), I advertised for free on CL and had three folks lined up to pick it all up on the same day. I actually sold the secretary and a roll-top desk on CL. The outdoor and garden-type stuff we gave to the guy and his son who take care of mom's yard. The rest? I put a box on my left and a garbage bag on my right and made a snap decision whether it was to be trashed or donated. I have taken seven (SEVEN) SUV loads to be donated. I held on to a small amount of furniture to stage the house, so will have to deal with that stuff if and when the place eventually sells (hoping the new owner wants the outdoor furniture). But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

As for the few older family things she had, I think it helped that I knew mom didn't care about them anymore. If she was ready to leave them behind, I could feel free to do the same. I could donate, or sell them for a small amount, and not feel bad about it. Once I gave my brother and his wife the option of taking them (they pretty much declined everything), I was free to dispose at will. One thing I struggled with was a group of teacups and saucers -- all different -- that belonged to my grandmother. Not my style, not valuable enough to sell, but too nice to donate, KWIM? So I took a picture, posted them on FaceBook, and asked if anyone was interested. A musician friend who plays in a couple of groups with me popped in and said she would LOVE to have them, because she has folks in for tea/coffee all the time and enjoys different mismatched china. She was ecstatic, and I was glad they went to a good home. Win-win.

So, I guess I said all that to say that if your dad and stepmom were ready to let it go, you can be ready to let it go. Portraits that evoke a certain era are actually desirable in decorating, even if the subject of the painting is unknown to the decorator. If it's a strong example of a style (1950s glam, 1960s mid-century), someone will probably want it. So if you truly have no place for it, rest assured that someone probably will, and donate away.

*Full disclosure requires that I sheepishly admit I have ca. 1963 pastel portraits of my parents sitting in the corner of my office this very minute. But I DO plan to put them up in my house, once I decide where to put them. Honest. I promise.

Graywings' first two options. One man's trash, etc., or what I'm thinking: One generation's trash, another's treasure. The painting can sit quietly behind another or rolled up in a labeled mailing tube until it becomes special to someone, which is quite likely.

If there is room, you could hang or place it on the wall above an upper shelf in a closet. I do that with things I can't part with in a spare/storage closet. I makes me smile when I go into that closet and see the old momentos hanging there.

Sumac, that is a fab idea! I have a picture of myself and one of my baby brother that I don't want to display but can't bring myself to dispose of them. I am going to hang them in my large coat closet!

So happy to see I'm not the only one with this problem.

I'm about to have the most decorating closets anyone has ever seen! That's a great idea. I wish I knew what my parents would have wanted to keep or get rid of. I just ended up on the short end of the parent longevity stick. My grandpa is still alive (at 91! If you saw him you would think he was 75 like most of his friends, still works out 3 days a week. Makes the rest of us look like pansies. But I digress...)

Anyway, I come from a small family where many people didn't have children and they all happen to pass away, including my parents, in the last 5-10 years. That means my grandfather and I have become the people to deal with all the stuff. Unfortunately my Stepdad and his new wife took everything last thing my mother ever owned and simply dumped it without asking me if I wanted anything so I had nothing from my Mom or my childhood home. I did manage to track down the bedroom suite that was given to my Mom and Dad when they got married and the people who bought it gave it back to me. I can't WAIT to put it in the new master when we move. Other than that all I have of hers are some old readers which will go in my nursery. They even trashed 90% of the photos of her AND the photos of me! Seriously, they threw away all of my baby photos. I'm still mad. Some of the paintings I'm dealing with are of my Mom, and that's one reason I can't part with them.

I'm starting to embrace some alternative ideas for them and I know we will finish our basement and in the basement I can do ceiling to floor crazy art displays if I want to. It might make for a neat look down there anyway since there won't be windows (other than that one required window)

Ah Clueless, I can identify with your frustration. Throwing out your baby pictures?!? That is harsh.

My mother died young, and my ex-stepmother got rid of so many of her things. After she left my dad and he remarried, his (current) wife was very quick to snap up anything of my mom's that was still in the house that had any value, like her set of good china and silver. The sentimental stuff-letters, personal items--was long gone of course. So I have very, very few things of hers.

One item I do cherish, and that I"ll never, ever part with is a dress she sewed for me when I was a teenager. My mom was an expert seamstress, and although I probably couldn't even fit into that thing now, just seeing it hanging in my closet gives me warm memories of my mother.

Ann

I inherited a few pieces from my mom...one of which was a bench. Not a great bench. In fact, kind of rickety bench. But it was from my mom (who died way too young!)....so I kept the darn thing.

One day I was driving and musing about that bench. I realized that I'd had that bench for 15 years. Knowing my mom, there's NO way she would still have owned that bench for over 15 years. She was a use it, love it, and get rid of it when you don't love it anymore.

What a relief!

If it doesn't make your heart sing, sell, donate, or trash. Keep all the love in the memory, but get rid of the stuff.

This post is relevant to my current situation. When my husband's mother passed away, my husband inherited his father's military uniforms, misc. china pieces, lots of family memorabilia. My husband can't part with the military uniforms. All of the items are stored in old trunks and plastic totes in the basement. His mother passed away a year ago, so maybe over time he will be able to part with some of the items. If it was my call, most of the items would be donated. But this is his family's things and much sentimental value to him.
We bought a new house a month ago. It is much bigger than our old house, which had zero storage space. My parents, who have a small house, saw our storage space, went home, and made a stack of things they want give us: old paintings, dishes, Christmas decorations, etc. The paintings were painted by my uncle. They are alright, I suppose, but not my taste and I don't want them. If the paintings were painted by someone not related, they would be gone a long time ago. I don't want any of the stuff my parents want us to take, but don't want to hurt their feelings either. They think they are being kind in giving us their things.
I'm not overly sentimental, and would be fine with donating most of the things we inherited. Maybe down the road we will be able to, I hope.

All of this is why I ask my children if there are special items which they would like passed down. I know the history behind many and try to share the stories. I also know which ones would appreciate certain things. Their names are going on the bottoms/backs to clear up any problems, along with a notarized list. But in reality I know there are always issues when the time arrives. My mother gave me all my childhood items/photos when turning 21, I also did this for each of the kids.

Oh man, this is a huge issue for me. In general, I am not a pack rat. However, there are a few big stumbling blocks for me.

The first is a desk my father made for me. It is the only thing I own that came from him. It is well made for a home project, but it is too small and does not work at all in my home office. I have nowhere else to put it. I want to replace it but the thought of sending it off to a thrift shop is killing me.

I also have jewelry from my mother, and more to come since she is still quite alive. I also will inherit sets of Limoges and Spode china, a big silver service, Boehm birds and on and on. None of these items fit my lifestyle. I will offer them to my nieces but their lifestyle is even more casual than mine. Yet, I know all these items are important to my mother and I hate to let them go.

I also have an attic full of old Fisher Price and Playskool toys that I saved for my grandchildren -- who never materialized! I am not sure what they represent to me, but I simply cannot part with them. Maybe it's the knowledge that I am never going to be a grandmother which honestly doesn;t bother me that much. I have four darling grand nieces and nephews.

Here's another -- miles and miles of old home movies. I have had them all transferred onto DVDs, but I feel so nostalgic about the films. Just seeing them and smelling them brings back a rush of memories of my father, who loved his 16 mm camera. I guess they will stay in the family until they reach a generation who doesn't give a hoot about them and tosses them in the dumpster.

I dread the day when I clean out my mother's house, which is enormous and packed with stuff. A lot can be dumped or sold but there also are a lot of family items.
Why oh why do we do this to ourselves??

I can't believe they would be so insensitive as to trash the photos - why did it not occur to them to pass them to you!? I would be livid. LIVID. I'm mad for you!!

Jakabedy, enjoyed reading your post. I had a lot of tea cups and saucers from my grandmother. Actually had them scattered in last house/living room. After being stored here the last 7 years I decide to donate to Kings Ranch. I decided that if someone wanted them they would buy and love as much as I did, and the money goes to a good cause.

There are a lot of local Facebook Trading pages in my area. DD2 has sold a few things on it and I sold a small rug. You meet somewhere local to do the transaction. They are closed pages, so should be safer than CL. I purchased DGS an adorable soft rocking horse that gallops and whinnies.

dedtired, I saved a few of our children's FP toys, and recently got down for DGS. I "loaned" the rest of them to my SIL (they all looked new even though our 3 had played with them for years) and when she returned, they were so nasty and basically destroyed, I tossed them. Broke my heart. I recently bought him the school bus, town and a fire truck on etsy. Paid a pretty penny for the town and all its pieces. If you decide to sell them, please let me know!

I admire my SIL, who not only culls her things but is simply matter of fact in refusing to take on others' sentimental discards. She isn't rude or nasty about it, she just declines anything that she doesn't need or want when it is offered. Guess it takes a certain je ne sais quoi, which she has in spades. She also will blithely ask people things that in others would bring a gasp or perhaps a punch in the nose, and yet she gets away with it and nobody ever seems offended. It's a gift :).

As for decluttering, I just took some staycation time off and worked for 4 days trying to clean out my son's room. He is almost completely out of the house now, and the room was really, really bad. I filled *5* large trash bags and disregarding my usual policy, took them to the dump. And of course the next day he came home and became enraged because evidently I tossed a term paper he might have needed to finish an incomplete that was the last to-do in getting his degree this spring. Arrghhh. Usually I leave bags of what I cull sitting around for awhile so they can be available for such situations, but there was SO MUCH in his room. Then too, he had been assuring me that incomplete was 'all taken care of' so I assumed nothing in the room was still needed.

Decluttering, what an ongoing nightmare for so many of us.

Allison, I will keep you in mind. Those toys are taking up too much space. I should have given them to someone who would enjoy them long ago. I have the FP Castle (minus the pink dragon), a FP train, and much much more. I also have a big bag of Legos. Those are going.

You wouldn't want a desk made by my father, too? Ha ha.

Running, my son moved out in a huff after high school. I asked him if he intended to come back and if not, did he want the stuff he'd left behind. He said no, although he was too young to really make that decision. He was too busy being a PITA. Later he went looking for certain things and I just said "you told me you didn't want it". Of course, I really did save a lot of his memorabilia, and guess what, now he doesn't want it. He also got over his "huff" and is now a really nice and successful grown man. However, you should see all the "stuff" in his garage!

dedtired - I just have one suggestion for one of the collections you mentioned you will be inheriting -- the Boehm birds. And this can apply to many collection. You don't need to keep all of them. Save one or two as a reminder and pass on the rest. My cousin did this with her mother's Hummel collection. My aunt had quite a few, but my cousin saved only a few that had special meaning to her. Unfortunately, that isn't easy to do with a set of china.

The other thing I want to comment on is the old home movies. We have that, as well as a huge amount of slides. I still want to transfer the movies and slides to DVD, but recently we watched some of the old movies and there is definitely something about the smell and the sound of the movie projector that I just love and the click of the slide projector as each slide advances!

Runninginplace -- how big is the 'portrait' of your cute little self? You might want to consider removing it from the frame and just putting it in an 'Art Sleeve' for safe keeping and for bringing it out at sentimental times or family gatherings. Alternatively, like others have mentioned is de-frame it and roll-it up in an Art tube.

Bottom line, if you don't like it -- don't feel obliged to 'hang it'. Plus, if your Dad gave it to you ... what were his expectations ... that you cherish it ... or is he leaving it up to you to save/discard.

I hope that didn't sound harsh. I'm just trying to present a view to get you off the hook for 'displaying' something you don't care for -- especially if it is you. :)