"Where exactly does a property owner have what you suggest as an absolute right to do whatever he/she likes with his/her own property? Certainly not in these United States" Exactly my point. Our property rights (as protected by the Constitution) have unfortunately vanished. It is evident by the reaction of many on this board. Cutting down a tree is far different than pouring toxins in a stream. Surely you can see that. What if the property owner dislikes redwoods wants to cut the tree, let it rot (no profit motive) and plans to plant his favorite trees (say tan oaks or big leaf maples) instead. Should that be legislated as illegal as well?.... "So far they have only succeeded at achieving that goal in dictatorships." I disagree again. Usually one of the first things that a dictator (socialist and communist) will do is take away property rights and right to bear arms. Usually in the name of "the common good" I would rather see the greed of millions of people or groups of people looking out for and competing for their own best interest than an all powerful government looking out for the interests of a few (themselves and their wealthy donors). If we have to lose an occasional tree because of some idiot, it is a price we pay for freedom. Long story short it seems that it would be so much more efficient for concerned people to pool their money and go offer these knuckle heads some money to sell the land. They could turn it into a park and charge small fees to care for it. Instead they throw millions down the rat hole, cesspool of Washington lobbyists (talk about greed) just to hope to have a little influence.

Thanks for all the comments, positive or negative. Of course you don't know me or my neighbor so that is expected. 1. First and foremost, I want to do the survey and make sure the neighbor's survey is accurate. So far I have not found anyone who is doing survey only for one side for under $1000. This is unbelievable but I guess that's how the rates are. 2. I have created a claim with my insurance company. Not sure what the outcome will be but right now they are "investigating". 3. Well I am not being "nasty" or whatever that implies. If I were, this could have been gone in different direction. I am working with my neighbor and figuring out what needs to be done. So far we are on the same page. We have decided which trees to plant and who to call for getting work done. Anyway, overall this is good lesson learned for me. If this situation was reversed and I was in that neighbor's shoes; I would have let go all this. I am not saying this for the sake of saying because now I am the one who is culprit but anyway... This is important lesson for me because if something like this happens in future from neighbors, I know what to do.

Dear lovehadley, I've never posted to this board before but I felt compelled to send a message to you. I'm an experienced stepmom of three. My stepkids have two different mothers. One BM is reasonable and helpful. The other is unstable and narcissistic. We have had to work very hard to keep this brood together - and I've learned a lot. I can tell you from experience that unless you set some boundaries and take control of your life, you are in for rocky ride that will definitely include an unwanted divorce. You are correct that most courts now favour 50/50. It's fashionable and it doesn't require anyone to make a real decision. However, it doesn't work for all children or all families. It won't work in your case. The BM is set on making trouble and the child is out of control. The current situation is bad. Moving to 50/50 would be better, but you'd still have an obsessive BM harassing you and a child in your house that you can't manage. Just imagine this child in 5 years, when he's almost as big as you are. Furthermore, your quality of life is just not good enough. You are very young, obviously articulate and you clearly have a compassionate nature. Yet your day to day life is all about your stepson and this crisis. You are going to wake up very soon and find that you're 40 years old and have wasted your young years fighting a battle that you can't win. You need to take control of your situation. It's not working and your fiance's proposed solutions aren't going to make life any better for you. He can fight for sole custody of this child, but he most likely will lose. Even if by some miracle he wins, the child will be opposed to it and he'll be unmanageable. Furthermore, the BM will get very liberal access which will be just the ticket she needs to harass you every minute of your life. It won't be much of a victory and it won't last long. I can pretty much guarantee that this child will end up living fulltime with the BM. Either he will demand it, or you will demand it, or you will leave and your fiance will have no choice but to relinquish custody. How you get to this place is up to you. You can continue to live in this nightmare until you walk out, or you and your fiance can figure out a reasonable schedule whereby this child can live with his mother, and spend ENJOYABLE, nonthreatening visits with you. Believe me, once the BM has this kid on her hands fulltime, she'll be VERY EXCITED about these access visits and she'll make sure that the child is as good as gold every minute. And, best of all, once she's dependant on you for the occasional break, her behaviour will improve dramatically. It's too bad that this child has a lousy mother and behavioural problems. But you can't solve this problem and ruining your life won't make it any better. All you can do is set boundaries for you own life, and then enforce them. It's tough, I know. But, trust me, it works and you will be much happier. The child will be happier too. It's bad to have an unstable mother. But it's much worse to be caught in the middle of a war and be swatted back and forth between two different worlds twice a week. Let your fiance read this email. Good luck.

It looks "fine".......really?? What is that distance - 6' from edge of pool to fence? Common sense should tell you that is going to be too tight/narrow a setting for any large growing tree, especially next to a pool where the tree will continually drop debris. Magnolias may not be known as "concrete busters" but they have a long and established reputation as concrete/paving "lifters". Here is what one popular website says about these trees: "dense shade and shallow roots make it impossible to grow grass beneath the canopy, and the roots often crack and lift pavement if the tree is planted between sidewalk and curb. Leaves drop 365 days a year. And since the tree grows as wide as 40 ft., it takes up a lot of garden space." I have a hard time imagining anyone who would think this is a good choice to remain in this location.