Need to cry....almost at the end of remodeling...

lmhall2000

16 years ago

I am so very fortunate that we have made it through this remodel with very few bumps..we've had a few "ouch" moments, but overall..we have created a great home for our family that we hope to live in for many years...

We started looking because we knew in the long term we would have the ability to take care of family members if they needed a place to be cared for...I stay at home and homeschool our children...my husband works very hard for us to be able to do so..I have two aging grandmothers and my parents are in their mid sixties..

We are planning on moving in next week! Full kitchen demolition/remodel..all flooring replaced (I tiled, stained wood floors, painted over 3000 sq. feet of walls...hired painters to do the last 1000..I was just sick of paint, designed and framed out 1100 unfinished attic space..drywalled all that added skylights...added a bathroom and new everything in all baths...) a pretty major 4 month overhaul...I am the general contractor, tile setter, painter, designer, purchaser you name it. Dear husband is the banker.

This past Tuesday, I found out my dear dear grandmother has lung cancer...she's followed our remodel with joy and worry..laughing about the trip to the X-ray for my nose that met framing material...the two flooded bathrooms from busted pvc piping...just happy to see us getting close to moving in...then POW...here she is facing the toughest decision..she's 84..she's having surgery this next Tuesday to try and see if they can get it out...three options...they can get it out, they can take 1/2 a lung, or they can take the whole lung...prognosis is sketchy at best...here I am preparing this home to be a haven for those in need and she may not even be able to come be with us...it's breaking my heart. I can't be excited about the completion date knowing she may not be here to share it with us.

I go to buy faucets and I can't keep the tears back...I need to buy bulbs for my last home inspection and I can't stop thinking about her...we will be there at the hospital with her...I've been so strong up to this point and I have several subs coming in on scheduled times where I have to be there and I just can't focus. I came to this board to ask a question and I'd hoped next week I could share our final pics...I thought the end of this remodel would be a joy, and it just really means nothing to me at this point...

Please pray for my mamaw.

Tara

And thank you all for all the great suggestions/tips you've given that have made me feel confident up to this point!

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Comments (9)

iasheff
16 years ago
Oh, Tara, I am so sorry to hear about your mamaw. She and YOU will be in my prayers. Even though this is a very trying time, remember all the encouragement she has given you through the remodeling and the years and that she would want you to continue. Think of the conversations you can have while she is recovering from her surgery-- knowing grandmas like I do, I bet she would want you to hold your head high and finish so that she can come see the completed job!

Keri
kitchenkelly
16 years ago
Tara, I am so sorry. I will keep your mamaw in my prayers.

Kelly
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lmhall2000
Original Author
16 years ago
Thanks so much Keri and Kelly...I'm feeling so much better about it...going to go spend some time with her this afternoon and let the kids get a good visit in with her...I've dove back into my remodel and all the last touch ups are helping to keep my mind off of it..life happens and it's always an up and down course...I appreciate your prayers!
Tara
magothyrivergirl
16 years ago
Tara - I came over to the remodel forum to see if you posted on your house progress -knowing you were getting to the end.
I can only say that I do know what you are going through. I lost my Mother to lung cancer during our move - I was actually at her bedside out of state and missed our settlement. The ability to focus and sleep was one of my biggest problems. My son was graduating from High School , we had the college search going on, we were moving, I own my business and couldn't just stop - it was the worse time of my entire life. I know nothing other than her recovery seems important anymore. I am so sorry you have to go thru this. All I can say is just keep putting one foot in front of the other, spend as much time with her as you can. Bring her pictures of the house, and samples of the fabrics, etc. Talk to her alot & tell her you love her! I truly feel your pain right now.
She must be really proud of you!
Get your house done & your family moved in - that is all you can do.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers! It is going to be a tough time ahead, but you have to be strong. You will get thru this, I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you will. I will be thinking of you!
igloochic
16 years ago
Tara I'm so sorry about your mamaw! Please let us know how she's doing when you get a chance. Try to remember that she's probably really enjoyed seeing your work progress to the point it has, and hopefully Tara she'll get to see the finished project, but in the worst case scenario Tara...finish it so she can watch you all from above.

If you have to take a break on the project to give yourself time to get together, do so. You only have one chance with family, and they're the most important part of making a home :) You know this obviously.

Darling we'll pray for her here and for you to have great stregnth when you need it!
lmhall2000
Original Author
16 years ago
Thank y'all sooo much!!! Check out some of the remodel on HD page...I feel reenergized to get these final steps completed because I spent yesterday with her and this morning she came out of surgery cracking jokes! She's in a great deal of pain..the surgeon said it was adenocarcinoma and if she had come in 2 months later it would have been a different outcome...he feels he was able to remove all affected parts but had to go in through her back/underarm and chest to get it..she'll be in ICU for 2-3 more days then a private room...he'll get the results back to make sure all perimeter cells are clean by Friday....we are going to bust our tails with these last inspections (big one tomorrow) and start moving household goods in each trip out there..Friday the kids and I will go visit her if she's out of ICU...they don't let kids go in ICU so we spent 5 hours with her the night before...my kids are just precious things..they prayed with my grandma and reminded me that God had control of her...wow...don't think I had that clear thinking at their age..just knowing she made it through and is being watched over by all her family/friends makes me feel energized to take on the end of this house..I am so hoping she'll come to her "blue" room to stay with us to recuperate..her room at home is the same shade of blue and I hoped it would make her feel at her home..she's lived in the same house for over 60 years! My fondest memories of growing up were on her farm, and that's really been my inspiration to buy this farmhouse...I want my children to live those summers I cherished for the rest of their time home...having her to take care of would just be a blessing!! She'll teach me how to can vegetables and put up jellies! :)

Thanks for your prayers!!!
Tara
lmhall2000
Original Author
16 years ago
Mago!! I don't know how you managed...I wonder sometimes if things hit at once so that we don't have time to focus on the pain and are forced to keep living despite of our loss...it must have been a struggle to deal with the loss and be excited for your son's new adventure in leaving home..which also is a large loss for a parent!

Igloochic...I just love your name...I have this image of you decorating an incredibly classic igloo and showing folks how you can transform anything into a thing of beauty and warmth! :) When I was visiting her on Monday, I sat there and drew out the plans and where the barn was and how you could see out such and such windows to where the horses will one day be...she was so interested in how it was turning out I think it really took her mind off of her worries for just a little bit...then the kids began to draw pictures for her and she held each one in her hand and just focused on them and praised them for being such detailed artists..even in her pain/worry she never loses the encouraging touch of being a grandmother...the kids have never lost a close relative...and I hope they don't have to until they're much older...for now, she's holding her own! Thanks so much!
Tara
magothyrivergirl
16 years ago
Tara - Great news on Your Mamaw. Friday is a big day for you - putting your energy into finishing your house really is a positive way to worry.
Your kids are right - She is in God's hands - Kids surprise you sometimes in a good way!
Thanks for posting the pics! Sending positive thoughts your way!
texaswoman
16 years ago
I'm so glad your Mamaw is doing so good!! I'm wishing her a speedy recovery. Just remember that no matter when the inevitable happens she will always be in your heart as I'm sure you are in hers. God Bless.

Need to cry....almost at the end of remodeling...

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iasheff

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Need to cry....almost at the end of remodeling...

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