Sorry to hear your problem. My story is too long to post here but I will try to put it as best as I can. Eight years ago Maddie,first grandchild was born. Daughter was a nurse..he was a fireman. I started keeping Maddie throughout the week without pay..I did the laundry,cleaned the house,cooked and cared for her..worked part time at JC Penneys nights and weekends. I would stay all day and then leave for work about 4 pm and worked until 9 at night. Years progressed...they moved not far from my house..I kept eventually all 3 children and worked retail. This involved nearly 100 miles of travel daily to take oldest to preschool and pick her up as it was in town near where I live and farther from my daughter's home. I had to quit at Penneys...my daughter and son-in-law(who is a jerk) said they would pay me whatever Penneys was paying me and never leave me hanging without a job. I don't want to even go in to how this all turned out. This was a year ago and they of course got hard up for money..he's now working a good job though that his union daddy got him because he ended up being a lousy school teacher and quit his job doing that before his 2nd child was born and was out of work for over a year. Anyway..months went by and they didnt pay me a cent..never even mentioned it. Because I love those children like my own I went everyday and never said a word..neither did my husband who has been more than generous over the years to allow me to do this. It finally was brought up by me..just before school began last year...my daughter just said."Yeah..you'll have to find another job." I left her house with that said and my life has been miserable ever since. At 57 and even having a college degree and experience and knowing people in this town..I cannot find a full time job. I cannot tell you what life is like now...I stay depressed but move on as well as I can. I even kept a little baby whose mom is a teacher and lives nearly right next door to my daughter so the smaller 2 kids could visit me there daily if they wanted to. This young woman treated me like a queen. I drove there every day and she paid me $120 a week for the one child. I did a little laundry and cleaning but mostly she was just so sweet and kind to me. One day she even sent me flowers with an expression of her love and appreciation for my caring for her child. It was indeed new to me. I didn't do it this year...it became complicated and she began to depend on me all the time as far as calling me with her problems and such..I felt I'd become her mother and it was just tough. She begged me to keep her child this year and even upped the pay. She even offered to pay me all summer when she wouldn't need me so I would come back in the Fall. I needed to escape..sadly..I do love her too but I need full time work.She is hurt now and it is a sorry situation. I've seen a lot of the grandkids this summer. When I quit keeping them it was horrible. The 2nd youngest cried and cried..the oldest wouldn't come here to my house in hopes that if she didn't I would come back. My daughter and son-in-law are lazy...they don't want to work days when they can. They could have kept me if his mother hadn't been so busy paying their bills. Anyway...I feel deeply for what you are going through. I cherish each moment with those children and they are most precious to us. Last Christmas for the first time we got a credit care(as I was out of work) and put Christmas on it. My daughter just a week before the holiday was taking stuff back she'd bought the oldest child. I went out and re-purchased the stuff as I felt so bad for the child. I took it out there and gave it to them to give her from Santa and got a tongue lashing that I'd out done them..it was horrible. She told me to get out of her house and showed me the door. She then said I could come Christmas or not she didn't care she would never apologize. I went of course as the kids would never have understood. I've been abused more than I can say..but what we do for love is most important in the end. I still can't find a job...our checking account bounced this week because they couldn't pay their water bill so we paid it...the kid's had no water. I can tell you that my health has suffered through these years. I know as they grow older I won't see them as much...I have my memories however and they are the sweetest children. My son has a new baby and they have great jobs and are sending her to daycare. She was premature and they are worried about her but they don't seem to want me. It's heartbreaking but I guess I understand. Keeping the grandkids can be tricky..you are a intricate part of everything that goes on. Let them know daily you love them..call them every day and tell them. Plan some outings on weekends that won't wear you out...mine love museums and parks and things like that. I always cook a meal and let them help out..they love that. The main thing is...tell them daily you love them....keep that contact and the doors open no matter how you feel...they won't ever forget it..believe me. I'm up against other grandparents who are wealthy..have campers and huge homes on the river...all I can give them is my time and my love. We did buy a set-up pool and it was a great buy..they love it. It's a lot of fun and they can stay in it all day..not too much trouble to watch either. If you can afford it it's great to take them to concerts...symphonies...ballets around your area..culture is something everyone can enjoy. Even if it's building a bird house..planting a small garden they can enjoy. You don't have to do strenuous things...kids love being listened to...telling you about their day...walking in the sunshine. Never believe that you will lose them...love is what kids need. Today they need their grandparents more than ever. Their parents are so busy...they need you in ways you can't imagine. Mine love the latest Hannah Montana videos...get some hip music for your car that they like...dress-up clothes are a favorite too. I bought them a butterfly set-up online where they could watch them hatch and then let them go...they loved it!!! Check out what is new with their age groups and then get involved with it. Another thing..if you have a soup kitchen nearby..take them and let them help others...it's a lesson they carry for life! I hope this helps friend...I will pray for you. There is no pain like this...I know...I just try to focus on what is best for the kids. It is, as I say, risky business when grandparents immerse themselves in their children's lives..some go great...others get hurt..in the end..the love returned and hugs and appreciation the little ones give us is after all...the joy of life.God bless!! :)))

I'd have to reread what I quoted tomorrow about the price. IIRC, The posts were before the market got to this point, so before when she made the posts, she may have been ok with it; but now the price isn't realistic. This is where that great realtor comes in. She should have sat her down and told her that the market changed and we need to act since you need to sell. After all, her bios states she will work with the client to price the home correctly. Having a realtor that claims to have that much experience yada yada; she would be able to talk the seller into going after that buyer; after all, if you read the lowball post, some of the posters were able to change her mind. Why couldn't this experienced great realtor do that? Rereading the posts, Jellyben knew in her heart the price was too much. The realtor technically should have been able to be straight with her saying, ok we can try listing at that "old" price for a few weeks, if we have activity and no bites, then we have to revisit pricing. Our realtor said almost the same thing to us, so we knew going in; plus I read here just like jellyben does, so I know it would have to be done. I do think that the exterior photos make the house look "trumped up" and more like an artist's drawing of spec homes you see at those architectural plan websites. I think it makes the home look unrealistic and could be turning off some buyers. Exactly, which is probably misleading when you actually get to the house. This is a used house, I highly doubt the outside looks that perfect still. Jellyben How long is your contract for?

Hi there, and welcome! Hope you will get some good advice here. Like Justmetoo said, some more background info would be good. But with the info we've got so far I think you shouldn't split up with your fiancee because of his son. Clearly the boy is having a hard time with it, which makes it difficult for everyone, but if you 2 are happy together then I don't see that as a reason to end it. Unless of course your unhappiness with the situation is bigger then your happiness with your fiancee (FDH = Future Dear Husband). How does your FDH interact with him? Would it be possible for the two of them to sit down and have a talk? You could go over it with your FDH and discuss what message you'd like to get across to his son. -For example that you understand how hard this is for him, and that you respect it that he'll need time and space which you want to give him. Nobody is going to force him to play happy family and you are not trying to take over as a mum. -Has your FDH expressed understanding towards his son? I think it is very important that his son feels validated, rather then that his feelings are dismissed or disapproved (I'm not saying that that is happening of course!). Your FDH could tell him that he understands how his son wishes things were different, and that it must be very hard on him. He's been put in a situation that he's had no control over and that's difficult for anyone. However FDH is very happy with you and he wants to move on, ending the relationship because son is unhappy about it would not be the right solution. But maybe they can find a compromise: a way of dealing that everyone can live with. Something like: son will be given time and space when he needs it; so son can stay in his room after school and at night if he chooses to, but he will have to sit at the table for dinner with the rest of you. And normal politeness has to be non-negotiable. By making a compromise you are trying to give him some control over the situation back, I think he needs that. Just like the validation of his feelings. If he feels that his dad wants him to 'snap out of it' (again, not saying this is you guys!) then he'll just become more stubborn in holding onto it and more resentful. Your FDH could ask his son to have a think about other ways of finding a compromise (I'm only aware of him wanting to stay in his room), what is important to son? Get his opinion and get him involved in trying to create a better situation for all of you. Or would it be possible to have this kind of talk as a family talk? Have you tried talking to him yourself? Is this an option? You could all do a brain storm session to try and find new ways to all get along. And how about some small and simple ways of trying to make him feel needed/appreciated: the littlest things (like asking him to open a jar for you when you're cooking and FDH is not home yet) could help in slowly creating a bit better bond or some mutual acceptance. During dinner try and get him talking about his day; show an interest in his life and see if you can crack a joke. There's nothing like sharing a laugh to break the ice.

As everyone has said, practices for winter protection or the lack thereof differ widely among gardeners. My personal rule of thumb is that I pull off the protection in spring when conditions approximate those in which I put on the protection, and I make sure to put on the protection LATE in the season. In most places, including the east coast I think, the moisture in the spring is as big a danger as anything in the winter you're protecting against. My temperature range for putting on protection is when the HIGHs for the day don't get above 20, so the same applies in taking it off. As long as your highs most days stay above 20, I'd go ahead and take it off. Even though you can get a late frost that would nip early leaves, by the time the leaves are out you shouldn't have any protection on anyway, so it's best to let the rose warm up at a natural pace along with the rest of the soil. Of course things may differ in your zone, but I think many of us think roses can't handle the cold as well as they often can. Even my hybrid teas and teas are fine as long as the highs are above 20 and the lows not into the single digits. Cynthia