I'm sorry for the addiction your son is suffering from.

DH and I are going to the family meeting of gamblers anonymous tonite,
That is great. It will likely teach you about how to cope, and you might also learn that you might be an enabler. I suggest you pick up any and all literature they may have available.

My life has never been touched by anyone addicted to gambling, but it has been by alcohol and drug addicts. Only they can help themselves...and that is only when they are good and ready. He may have to really hit rock bottom before he wants to get the professional help he needs. About all you can do for him at this time, is listen when he feels like talking, and let him know you love him, in spite of his addiction and all the trouble it has caused so many.

Sue

So sorry to hear this (((Susan))).

I had 2 SIL's who signed some sort of agreement with the casinos in MO so they can NO longer gamble in this state. Maybe KY has a a similar program? I know that won't cure his problem, but may keep him out of some trouble while he seeks help.

Sending good thoughts his way!

My uncle was an alcoholic, but he was able to turn his life around. He found a good woman (my aunt,yes), stuck to a good job, built her a home and they had a great life together. I hope your son finds his way. It's not your fault. I am convinced any addictive behavior is genetic, impossible to predict or prevent. My heart breaks for all of you. Remember prayer helps.

Next time he is at home and ready to work on his problem again- would it be possible for him to put a fraud alert or somethign similar on his credit reports? It would make it harder to get a new line of credit. Wouldn't stop him from trying but may at least give him pause.

Best advise is for the two of you to make a point not to submerge yourself in his problem. Easier said than done, I know. Try to keep yourself involved in the same activities as you were prior to him coming home, etc.

Let me know if you want to meet for a friendly lunch or something, I am just down the road!

Addiction is a really tough one. Main Man's youngest Daughter battles Alcoholism and my Niece does as well. Fortunately, both are in Rehab now.

I really enjoy Alnon Meetings. It helps. I think there are very few people who are untouched by some type of Addiction among their family or friends.

Sending prayers your way.

Gayle

I sympathize with you because i.m going through two addicted children. My son who is 38is an alcoholic and now addicted to cocaine. He is now in jail and i'm hoping he gets help while he's there. My grandson who is 18 and will be graduating this month (maybe) is also an alcoholic and smokes weed evry day. He's going down the same path as my son. It's very scary. His mother is a single mother and is devastated. Yes we need a prayer.
Thank you

So sorry you are going through this Susan. I hope for the best for your son...it's hard to watch someone you love so much do this to themselves, and so hard to understand what he's going through. Addiction of any kind is a horrible thing to go through. I watched my nephew get addicted to pain medication over many years from many foot surgeries. After it got a hold of him it was hard to bring him back. Sadly, 4 years ago his situation didn't end well. Addiction is hard on everyone involved. I hope you can get him back and healthy again. Take care of yourself too....he really needs you more than you know.

I have no answers for you but I know it's going to be a rough time for you all. Especially for you as a mother. I'm so sorry you are faced with this, but at least you all now know that there is a problem. Nothing will get fixed until your son is ready to fix it. (((Bigack)))
~Betsy

Sometime Casinos will not allow people to come in if there is a very serious problem Don't know about Racing. Might check into it.

Susan, I am so sorry for what you're going through. I will keep you and your son in my prayers.
(((((Susan)))))

It just gives you a big pain in the heart, doesn't it? I'm so sorry but glad you are going to the family meeting. It will be helpful to be with others who face similar difficulties. Take care.

Susan too.

Just want you to know you are in my thoughts! Good luck!

Thinking good thoughts for you and your family and I hope your son is able to get on top of his addiction.

While working at a bank I saw many customers, especially seniors who were in really bad financial situations because of gambling and trying to hide the fact from their spouses. I remember one customer was very desparate to get a loan and my manager had me check her daily account transactions and the majority of the transactions were from an ATM at Casino Windsor every few hours. Bank denied her loan application. I even had one young wife come in because she couldn't withdraw money from her bank account and we found that her husband had drained the account for his gambling addiction which she wasn't aware of.

The casino has helped the economy in Windsor but it has also ruined many lives of those who became addicted to the slots. I think the casinos were best left in Nevada - if you wanted to gamble in a casino you had to spend a chuck of change to get there. Casinos feed their addiction but if there were no casinos there still would be race betting, bingos and illegal card games. Gamblers will always find a way.

Anne

(((Susan)))
I know your heart aches for your son.
My heart aches for you!
I wish I had a magic fix for you all.
I will be thinking of your family!

Susan, you and I have spoken about this - just make him stand on his own two feet, no matter HOW much you want to help him - he has to hit rock bottom before he will change, and if you 'help' him in any way, he won't change a thing. It's tough, but that's the only way to really do him any good - as you know, I've been where you are!

(((hugs)))

Dances.

Bigack, I'm so sorry and I can feel the pain in your message.

Attending the GA meetings is the best thing you and your husband can do. It may not help your son, but it will teach you and your husband the coping skills you need. This in turn may help your son more than you know.

Hugs,
Mammie

I don't have any advice, just (((hugs))).

I have thought about this alot lately because I have gotten hooked on the show "Intervention". I was thinking how heartbreaking this is to families..... trying to help a loved one with an addiction.

I am so sorry your family is going through this.

((((Susan)))) I agree that prayer really helps. Hang in there. My only daughter married into a gambling family and is now, just 6 years later deeply in debt and just finalized her divorce today. I also agree with Kay, don't do anything to enable him. Be strong. Thanks for sharing this with us...Nancy

Susan, I am so sorry for what your family is going through. I have no advice, but wanted to send hugs. ((((Susan )))))

Linda

Susan,
I'm sorry you have to deal with this,but i agree with Kayjones.Don't enable him in any way.We had to do this with our grandson,and it probably hurt us more than him,BUT he finally got the message and is doing very well now.
Kathi

Sending good thoughts, prayers and hugs to you all!

I'm really sorry for you and your son. I don't know if you can force someone to quit an addiction. My mom used to gamble and it caused a lot of problems. Very sad situation near the end of her life.

Going to GA is the best thing you can do for him.

Two of my brothers were alcohol and drug users; my parents bailed them out until they themselves were flat broke. Addictions are very difficult for the whole family. Hang in there, love him no matter what, recognize that he is ill, but do your best not to enable him. He has to do it himself.

Sherry

Hard to type today (hand surgery yesterday) but I can still hug and I'm sending you one.

Bigack,
I am sorry you're having such a difficult time with your son right now.
Addictions are hard whether it be alcohol or drugs or gambling.

I feel the hardest thing for an recovering,addicted person to do is to stay away from the old haunts(alcoholics away from bars, Drug addicts away from the pusher)That is one of the hardest things.

I have family members who all got into Meth and one is in prison now, one is running from the law, and one has just returned to prison because eventually he went back to his old haunts where the drugs were.

I don't have any answers for you but the family meeting for Gamblers would be a good place to start. They help you understand the difference between "helping" and "enabling".

I will pray for you and your family.

This is so sad, I feel so badly for all of you. It must be just heartbreaking as a parent to see this happen to your child.

I hope the Gamblers Anonymous people can help you deal with this.

I have to ask though, what does "We're trying to manage his finances" mean? Are you helping to bail him out of his problem? I'm not so sure this is a good idea, enabling him perhaps?

Maybe I just don't understand. Good luck to you, I hope the meeting helped.

I so hope he gets better.....As I said in my other post we are dealing with this with our neighbor/friend....this time we loaned her 350 to cover herself and this is the last time....never again....we told her and she has now had herself banned from casinos here in OK and she has never gone out of state to do this so hopefully this will work......All I can say is I am pryaing for you and ADDICTIONS SUCK!! STacy