My husband went through the same thing a few years ago. Not a shift change just a change in responsibilities and expectations at work that were way over his head. He's not a cop but the situation is very similar. He also had mood swings , problems sleeping, he would smoke to relax and have a drink. Lose his temper with his two kids. I mean the same way you described! i would be sitting at the dinner table eating. and if his son didn't eat fast enough or at way too slow after 5 minutes he's be telling him off and nagging him to death to eat his plate. My SS would bow his head , wouldn't enjoy his meal and my husband would be telling him 'well you'll be left alone again cause you are not eating.' It got to the point i got pissed. so one night i turned around during meal time and nagged him. ' oh your not eating those veggies, oh you haven't touched them yet. why haven't you finished. ? its been 5 minutes?...you dont like my cooking? come on hurry up! we've going to miss our program, you eat too slow! what are you a cow? do you have several stomachs to digest? ; well needless to say i got the dirty looks, I smiled and left to clean the dishes. next time he did it again, i told him in front of his kids that i will not have dinner or lunch or breakfast while you badger your son. You have problems deal with them and dont take it out on the kids. This issue was early inthe relationship. So i spoke with him about work and found out his stresses and gave him soem ideas to change. Work finally changed and so did his attitude. Sorry for the long story. But i honestly think that your husband has stress from work. Either a traumatic experience that caused him to change his shift and of course the simple shift change cause sleep deprivation until his body acclimatizes to the time zone. But hes taken up cigarettes...which is not good for his nerves and his daily routine with you have changed. You have to find a middle ground to work together. If he doens't change his shift back to waht he did before you 'll need to make new time together. Some couciling is a good idea. As well, if he did go through a traumatic experience then your husband definetly needs counciling.

Thanks for your kind remarks everyone and wishes for recovery. I appreciate your encouragement and support! I have been very pleased with my progress in both surgeries. The shoulder is back to 95% with just a little range of motion to get back, which apparently impressed my surgeon as it's well ahead of the usual schedule. All that good muscle tone from hauling garden debris and stretching to reach wayward roses has clearly paid off. I'm really grateful for that use of my shoulder, since I rely on it to get into and out of sitting positions now after the hip surgery. Even four days out of surgery, I'm already standing and sitting fairly easily and navigating my house without much problem. Lesley (and Diane's friend) - the best advice I can give you as you work up to your hip replacement is to keep moving within reason - the two best forms of exercise to counteract arthritis are apparently light weightlifting and (ahem, drumroll...) gardening! Think of it - all that squatting and stretching and weight shifting we do all the time? The better you can move before the surgery, the easier the recovery. At the same time, listen to your body and the doctors! If it hurts or feels wrong don't do it, and follow the doctor's instructions. There are some horror stories going around my YMCA of a member who had his hip replaced and felt so good he cleaned his garage the next day, mowed the lawn, and other foolishness. He ended up getting the hip infected, needing a second surgery, and totally complicating his life. There's a reason I'm unapologetically propped up in my recliner and making my preteen kids do the household chores ("you'll thank me later, kids"). Boy, we do have quite a collection of injuries and ailments affecting our GW family! Alana, I hope your doctor can fit you in now to get past the problems so that you can enjoy spring! As Jackie and Carol said, there is something inherently healing about being out in the garden and "playing" with our roses. Meredith, a bone graft on toes sounds daunting and complex, though I'm glad you've been able to manage long enough to schedule surgery in winter when it's more feasible - I don't think we fully appreciate how much we rely on our toes for walking and standing until they cause us problems. Judith, I totally sympathize on waiting for non-emergency surgery until you don't need use of that hand - we'll all be thinking of you and Meredith and Alana and hoping for a speedy recovery as well. In terms of your knee surgery, I totally sympathize. In my hip/knee prep class, I learned that knees are much trickier surgeries than hips because of the structure and pressure on those joints, and the rehab is much longer and more painful. Glad to hear you're back to speed as far as the knee goes! Ingrid, it's fantastic that you've been able to relieve pain without surgery on your shoulders! I remember you talking about how debilitating those shoulders were, and as gardeners we rely on our shoulders more than we realize for everything you do. Of course your garden and landscape is an inspiration to you, since it clearly is to all of us as well, in your lovely photos and stories of gardening. Here's hoping for decent rainfall into the growing season in California. Ken, I can relate about picking your house with the garden in mind. When we were planning to move in town about 8 years ago, a friend suggested we look at their house they were selling in a nice part of town. I mentioned how important gardening was to me and she said, "Me too - I have a well-established garden". I drove by and her garden was no bigger than my couch. Clearly we had different ideas of what we were looking for in a garden. Sharon, I agree with you on travel. There isn't a trip we've made in the last 10 years that was even considered in April or May, which is prime rose planting season. Even an extended family gathering in mid-June last year was pushing it a bit, but it was a unique situation. Besides in Kansas, July/August is the right time to head to the mountains and escape the heat. Karen, you're very sweet to enjoy my garden photos and posts - that's one of many factors that make GW the go-to place for enjoying rose chatter. And really folks - Diane & Ingrid included - you forget when I'm talking about pruning 750 roses, this is zone 5 and I'm a zone pusher with lots of hybrid teas. Pruning an HT can take as little as 30 seconds - "is there any surviving cane?" "nope" - lop off entire blackened rose bush an inch or two above soil line. The Austins can get a little tricky, as they have canker that's not visible that needs several cuts to get to clear cane. Huge twiggy roses like Darlow's Enigma tend to not get pruned at all in spring - partly because he laughs off the winter, and partly because trimming off those pesky little dead twig ends is easier when the leaves are fully emerged. At a pinch, I can get all the roses spring pruned in three fairly packed weekends, but this spring I get to do a few hours a day and to me in spring, that's leisurely. Stay healthy and thanks again for the support! Cynthia

Will need a good root pruning i use a electric saw with a wood pruning blade and cut out wedges and then slice a little off the wedges ends, then i cut a few inches off the top and bottom . Its then put back in 30g and back filled with fresh medium then the canopy is trimmed or risk figs dropping following season due to root system not being able to support the topside. This is done every 3 years or so. Martin

I change up a large painting in my living room, from Spring/Summer to Fall/Winter, My mother inherited an original oil painting, from a friend of hers who was a very talented artist. I in turn, inherited it from her. It's a painting of the artist's log cabin and surrounding property in Vermont. He painted it in the late afternoon in Winter. The sky is crimson and full of clouds of varying shades. The cabin is covered in snow and violet smoke is coming from the chimney. The trees and field are also snow covered, so this painting captures the beauty and essence of Winter. I also have an oil painting of a beautiful scene in Summer. It is of a terra cotta terrace overlooking the Mediterranean, with large pots of vividly colored flowers, and Wisteria hanging from the arched roof. A hilly coastline, which is dotted with white houses with tile roofs is in the distance. It's very colorful and makes me feel like I'm in a little villa in Greece, whenever I look at it. As I only have room to display one in my living room, I display the Summer painting every April and change it to the Winter one every October. I hang the 'off season' painting in my bedroom, so it can still be enjoyed!