I think I've been invited to a Wiccan wedding

14 years ago

We received an invitation to my cousin's wedding and we RSVP'ed saying that we would attend. Then she sent out another envelope explaining that it will be a Pagan cermony, suitable for children - no spells, curses, etc will be cast. It's going to be held near the time that darkness will fall. Included was a website for witchcraft supplies.

It seems as if someone on here, a long time ago, said that they were a practicing Wiccan. Naturally I can't remember who. But has anyone ever attended one? We'll go with an open mind but I don't want to be on edge wondering what's going to go down at any given moment. Nowhere on the inserts does it say that it's Wiccan and I'm just assuming this. If someone can confirm then I can look up the ceremonies on the net.

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Comments (17)

grammahony
14 years ago
I think it was SamKaren. Our resident DJ.
Leslie
samkaren
14 years ago
Leslie...you remembered!!!! Yep that's me....your resident DJ and Wiccan!

Zeetera

Being a Wiccan, I might be able to help. The ceremony is called Handfasting. It is pretty much the same as any other wedding ceremony. Couples who participate in Handfasting have different ways in which they want the ceremony to be. The most common ceremony would consist of the "priestess" welcoming everyone and casting the "magical" circle. Then she would "bless" the rings with anointed oils. The couple would then hold hands and "seal" their commitment to each other by having a cord gently tied around the wrists.

If you Google Wiccan Weddings there is a lot of information about it. ItÂs really a beautiful ceremony.

SamKaren
Your resident DJ
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Gellchom, They met through a youth retreat, both had problems, gave friendly support through teen years. The young man and his bride were guests (together and separately) in our home several times over the years and was always treated like another member of the family -- as are several close friends, meaning an open door policy -- they know where we stash the key and can come to us if ever there is a need. Not something she would have done Now as for the ONLY person he wanted at the wedding -- I should have emphasized that to read OTHER THAN THE BRIDE and family! By the way, bride had been to the same retreat but a few years earlier, this was a common bond in the friendship between the three and why DD and bride were so close that DD wanted her to meet a real nice guy she thought bride would hit it off with. Not something she would have done if she had any thoughts of a future with this fellow. Susan
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One of my daughter's friends had done exactly something similar to what you are planning. Her wedding ceremony was on a dinner boat cruise on a river and included only the wedding party and immediate family (and spouses/significant others of the bridal party) during late morning through mid afternoon. Maybe 40 people max total. She wore a formal wedding gown and veil, but she and her sister (bridesmaid) wore jeweled flip flops for shoes! The groom and father of the bride were also attired in formal tuxedoes. But after that, everyone cut loose! Her reception was an outdoor, beach themed reception which included inviting a lot of other friends and extened family. I think there were about 100 people at that reception. Everyone changed into casual clothes - shorts, Hawaiian shirts, etc. and they had leis as favors. They had a casual BBQ dinner. I personally was invited to both events, and I recall that her inviation was in two parts. The main invitation stated something to the effect that "You are cordially invited to a reception following a private ceremony of the marriage between....blah, blah. Then, for the people who were invited to the private ceremony, there was a separate small card enclosed with the details of the ceremony on the boat. It was a a unique and fun wedding and reception!
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I must confess - I work a lot on stained glass and mosaics and do very little else except my job. I'm at a cool stage of my life where the only children I have left at home are teenagers so they're pretty self sufficient. I've cooked and cleaned for a bajillion kids over the years (formerly foster parents) so DH understands that I'm just burnt out on cooking now so I don't anymore. We either eat out, pop something in the microwave, or have fend for yourself nights where everyone fixes what they want to eat. I also hired :::gasp::: a housekeeper :::gasp::: to come once a week who does all of the laundry and housekeeping type stuff. We're not typically what you'd think of as "housekeeper" type people - just regular folks muddling along, but she came with the house sort of :-) We moved in a year ago and she cleans for several of the neighbors. DH met her, liked her, hired her, and we all lurvvvvvvves her now :-) I drive a seven year old car so I can afford her and she's worth every stinking penny :-) All this to say that because of the above, I come home and play with glass just about every day - except when I'm playing with my granddaughters who come to visit every month for a few days. I'm one lucky lady who thinks her hubby of 21+ years is sexy as can be, my kids are wonderful, my job is fun and pays decently for a non-profit, and am having more fun than should be allowed with my new hobby. Middle age rockkkks!
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mtn- I grew up in the Saratoga area, spent many evenings at harness racing- fun. BTW harness racing is also something to do in Maine at Scarborough Downs. Since you will be going to Saratoga in August the regular season will also be open. The town I grew up in is Schuylerville. At the time of the revolutionary war, it was actually called Saratoga and it is where the General Burgoyne surrendered to General Gates. I remember vividly cross country practice always included running up the monument steps. To this day I remember there are 184 steps. A couple of regional suggestions, see if you can fit in the Corning Glass Museum. RE the fingerlakes region I recently read What She Left Behind by Ellen Wiseman and got re-fascinated with the histrory of the treatment of the mentally ill. I say re-fascinated because when I was around your daughter's age I read everything I could about Nellie Bly and of course her expose about Blackwell's Island was pivotal in her life. This might make interesting tie-ins. And as you approach home territory, the Storm King Art Center and its fabulous sculpture garden is one of my most favorite places in the world.
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dilly_dally
14 years ago
"Nowhere on the inserts does it say that it's Wiccan and I'm just assuming this."

You are correct that a Pagan wedding is not necessarily a Wiccan wedding. If have questions about the wedding etiquette the best thing to do is to contact the bride just like any other wedding ceremony where one may not know the customs. Lot of religions require headcoverings or have a dress code or other things in order to attend a ceremony. There may even be rules on where one may sit. Some wedding keep men and women seated apart. Some do not allow non-members of the religion to participate fully in the ceremonial aspects of the event. For instance, non-Catholics may not receive communion at a wedding. If the wedding is at a synagogue headcoverings may be required. An Islamic wedding may have men and women seated separately. There are lots of things.

I am sure if you just call and ask about the Pagan customs they will inform you and you will feel more comfortable attending knowing ahead of time what to expect.

http://offbeatbride.com/tag/pagan-wedding

Here is a link that might be useful: Offbeat Bride
zeetera
Original Author
14 years ago
Thank you, thank you, for the information and the link.

Dilly dally, I thought about asking her what was expected but I don't have an email address or phone number (she lives overseas). And by the time we corresponded by letters, the ceremony would have taken place - it's this month.

Thanks again SamKaren, it doesn't sound too drastic and I'll read up about it.
samkaren
14 years ago
Zeetera

You're very welcome. A lot of people (not all mind you) freak out when the word Pagan & Wiccan is used and some don't understand the concept of what Wicca is about. Like Dilly said...if you can ask questions great. If you can't get in touch with the bride there is plenty of web sites to read up on the subject.

I for one enjoy answering questions that people have about Wicca.

I hope you enjoy the ceremony and please let us know what you thought of it.

SamKaren
your resident DJ
zeetera
Original Author
14 years ago
I will definitely let you know. I reread the information sheet and it does say that it's nature-based, so it sounds like that's it.

I may have more questions after the ceremony.
samkaren
14 years ago
Always happy to answer any questions you might have.
samkaren
14 years ago
Zeetera

I was just wondering if you could send me the address of the website for witchcraft supplies.
SamKaren
your resident DJ
zeetera
Original Author
14 years ago
Well duh on me. I just went to website on the card so that I could see what I was sending to you and it's her personal blog with an invitation to ask her any questions about the wedding.

She has a list of things that she sells, but there are no pics or prices. Let me know if you still want the link.
samkaren
14 years ago
Thanks..really would have liked photos of what she sells.

At least you can write her and ask her any questions!!!

SamKaren
zeetera
Original Author
14 years ago
Ok, no problem.
zeetera
Original Author
14 years ago
Sorry, was on phone when I posted. Meant to add that I'll ask her for pics when she comes.
Terri_PacNW
14 years ago
That off beat bride blog is fun!
Some extremely creative ideas!
dilly_dally
14 years ago
Terri_pacnw, I love that Offbeat Bride website. I love the fashion and creative decorating pics. The happy couple always look sooooo, well happy! Not the typical wedding photos with the stoic bride flanked by bridesmaids with crimped faces. There is also lots of advice for the wedding planning dealing with issues that the typical brides magazines don't tackle, like "How do I tell my parents I'm that I am wearing black to my wedding?" or "I'm getting a tattoo instead of a wedding ring. Should I wait until after the ceremony to show it off or is it OK to show it before the ceremony?"

-------------

Zeeta, I have only attended one Pagan ceremony and part of it entailed a smudging. Just a FYI. As a guest you may be cleansed with a sage smudging or maybe just the bride and groom participate in the ritual. It is similar to the incense that a priest waves over the crowd at a Catholic high mass. Nothing to be afraid of unless you have a smoke allergy or asthma or something.

Pagan ceremonies are natural and easy to follow. Just go with the flow.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/62607/how_to_perform_a_native_american_smudging.html?cat=34

http://greenfield.fortunecity.com/dwellers/564/ceremony.htm

Here is a link that might be useful: Smudging Ceremony
coloredthumb
14 years ago
Wiccans are Pagan but not all Pagans are Wicca. Handfastings and weddings are a rite of passage ceremonies and usually very much like a wedding & reception of any other faith, in there is a Priestess or Priest officiating, there are blessings, vows, a feast, gifts, music, dancing, love, light, peace and fun.
Suitable for children probably means it is not going to be a Skyclad rite (Skyclad means nekkid, without clothing, Clad in sky) and the consummation is not taking place immediately at the ceremony and feast. These are normal events at Wiccan and some Pagan handfasting and wedding rites. Rites of passage especially handfastings and weddings can be adapted to what makes the couple happy and the guests comfortable. I've attended many and officiated several. I can honestly say each was lovely and wonderful as the other and all unique.
Blessed Be
CT
naughtykitty
14 years ago
It sounds really interesting. Please re-post after the wedding and let us know about it. I've never seen a pagan or wiccan wedding before.
zeetera
Original Author
14 years ago
Thanks again for the further info. Dilly Dally & coloredthumb, you're right - she did state that she's not Wiccan.

I've learned a lot today and I'll let you know how the ceremony went (it's the third week in June).

I think I've been invited to a Wiccan wedding

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I think I've been invited to a Wiccan wedding

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