Mixed emotions today

9 years ago

Today would have been our 45th anniversary had my husband not passed 13 years ago. Of course I am sad and miss him more than I thought possible. Even after all this time I feel a hole in my soul. I also am so grateful for the wonderful years we had together. He was such a kind and compassionate man and died way too young. We had three daughters and all the trials and tribulations that go along with life but together we came out on top. I have so much to be thankful for but my life will never feel complete without him. Thanks for listening.
Satine

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Comments (19)

joan_mn
9 years ago
I am so sorry. I truly can't imagine it. I know my Mom gets awfully lonely sometimes, my dad has been gone for almost fifteen years.
yayagal
9 years ago
((((((((((((((BIG HUG))))))))))))))
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Mixed Emotions
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Comments (6)
so all of your free time has kids all over the place? It isn't necessarily the kids, it's the loss of your "non-Mom" identity during the only sizeable blocks of free time you have. Maybe every other week-end, with Dad having them some evenings during the week? Their mother might be happy to have the change: I think that, if they were my little ones, I'd want at least some week-end fun time with them, more than just 5 days a week getting them up & getting them to school & being rushed all the time, etc. rspiegel: that poor little girl! Today, we don't expect young mothers to die, & fathers don't have the resources of extended family ("gramma will be thrilled to have another young face at the dinner table"), but... "He wants me to be Mom" Well, he expected his daughter to have a mother, & now she doesn't, & he may still be wandering around in a daze, clobbered by a devastating loss. He may be just sharing the nitty-gritty truth (if the situation were reversed, you or I would want our partner to step into a "fatherly" pair of shoes), but he may also have the very common expectation that being "Mom" means being the primary parent, & you're wise to realize that there's too much riding on this to wing it & hope everything works out. Articulate your feelings, in short words & simple sentences, to this guy. Don't take on more than you can handle, don't commit to this little one who's already lost one mother if you have any inkling of doubt, & don't wake up one morning to find that you've become the answer to someone else's problems but that you've lost your own identity. Now, having said that... you know, it might be fun to have a young face at the dinner table.
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katlan
9 years ago
I'm really sorry you lost your husband. My Mom went through the same thing, didn't matter how many years went by. I hope you can find some peace from your grief.
sleeperblues
9 years ago
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm happy that you had a partner that you deeply loved, though. Many people don't ever find that.
pam_25f
9 years ago
Hugs to you Satine.
chisue
9 years ago
Somewhere recently I heard this from a widow living in very reduced circumstances, far from her homeland. She said, "I have loved and been loved, and that's what matters most in life."

Satine reminds me to love a little more fiercely *today*.
Georgysmom
9 years ago
(((((((Satine)))))))
glenda_al
9 years ago
Thoughts are with you, today!
Kathy_in_Delaware
9 years ago
((((HUGS))))
ont_gal
9 years ago
Thinking of you (((((Hugs)))))
YogaLady1948
9 years ago
Peace and Love to you today~~
nanny98
9 years ago
Sending Hugs to you today (((((HUGS))))) Satine, and a big Thank you too.
nicole__
9 years ago
On another forum, someone always says, "Hug your loved ones.". I do every day!!!!

(((Satine))) hugs to you!
clubm
9 years ago
((( HUGS )))
joyfulguy
9 years ago
Greetings satine,

I add my feelings of sadness on your renewed discomfort on this anniversary of the loss of your much loved husband.

I remember once saying to someone who'd just lost a loved one that one feels as though someone had cut off one's leg ... and that person agreed.

People grieve such a loss for a while ... but continued grieving over a long period doesn't bring the limb back.

Something over 40 years ago my spouse chose to travel her journey of life on her own, which she did, and rarely spoke to me.

She died about ten years ago.

I think that have missed out on some of my life potential in having chosen not to get involved in a close relationship, sometime after the normal grieving process had elapsed.

I think that some of it relates to, having once been run over by a truck, when one hears truck wheels coming down the road ... one starts to shake.

But when one continues on that road for a long time ... doesn't one miss out on some opportunities for an enhanced and interesting life if one follows the "once bitten ... twice shy" routine?

Which suggestion may or may not have any bearing on your situation.

Yesterday was yesterday ... today is today ... and tomorrow is tomorrow.

May you find a greater sense of peace in your heart as you pass through this period of memory.

ole joyful
joyfulguy
9 years ago
(((((Satine))))) ... for the previous post.

(((((Satine))))) ... for now.

ole joyful
susanjf_gw
9 years ago
but what I rejoice in, you had 32 yeas together...with so many (50%) of marriages falling apart, you beat the odds...
Rose_NW_PA
9 years ago
Hugs to you Satine. I know how you feel. Yesterday marked 10 months since my husband passed. Our 42ND anniversary would have been this past January.
mare_wbpa
9 years ago
I lost my wonderful husband 11 yrs ago last Feb 8, he was just 58 yrs old. June 15, this year, Father's Day, would have been our 46th Anniversary. We had such wonderful plans for our Golden yrs. I tell all our friends who are lucky enough too have to have a living spouse, to take care of one another and don't procrastinate. I was talking to my husband and he just stopped talking and was gone, in the blink of an eye my world changed forever.

Mixed emotions today

Comments (19)

joan_mn

yayagal

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