Do you think it's demeaning that the son might respond 'Thanks, Dad' instead of 'Thanks, Bob' (or whatever the father's name is)?

I knew a man that always called his son "son" and his daughter "daughter". I never EVER heard him call them by their names, even when talking to other people.

I've called my son "son" and so did his Dad. Never really thought much about it.

My mother says 'the girl' and 'the boys' (never their names) when talking about her grandchildren to a friend of hers. I did find that odd. Her friend told me this and she found it odd as well. Maybe it is the same as a father using son instead of the child's name? I don't know that I'd say it was demeaning... just sort of impersonal.

"You never hear a mother saying "You did a good job, daughter."

I agree, I've never heard a mother call her daughter "daughter," but I have a sister-in-law who always says "son" when talking to her son. It's always struck me as odd, but each to his/her own, I guess.

As Paula points out, it's really no different than a child referring to his/her parents as Mom/Dad. It's their relationship, and it goes both ways.

I don't have a problem with it. I think it is a term of enderment because you don't call anyone, but the son(s) son. Girls often get different nicknames like princess, sissy, etc.

My own grandmother used to refer to my siblings and me as "the little sh!ts". We never thought it was bad. It was just her name for us. It's what she called us because we were bright, active, and always creatively into stuff that no one else thought about.

I think of it as a term of endearment too...it emphasizes the special relationship between a father and son.

It strikes me as a term of endearment, pride and closeness that one doesn't get from "Bob" or "John".

I also think it's used as a term of endearment.

I had 4 brothers and 4 sisters, all older. I don't recall that my father ever called the boys "son," but then I was so much younger I wouldn't have noticed or remembered.

My son has always calls his son "son." I love to hear that. I think men always want to have male children, so calling them son just emphasizes that. It is kind of a pride thing.

Sue

Useage varies depending on cultures. In my culture, "son" and "daughter" were terms of endearment. It was used to communicate a very personal and close relationship between parent and child. If a father had more than one son, then a name would be added to designate which one was spoken to or about.

A change from "son" to a name might denote a level of anger. For example, a dad might say in a calm voice, "Son, don't do that because ... ." But if Dad was ticked off, this could change to "Billy Bob, get your butt offen there." with increased agitation in his voice.

Within my family, first names were used most of the time as well as common nicknames. If I heard my mother suddently change to addressing me with my formal name, I knew that something important or serious was afoot. For another example, if my name was James, I'd be called Jim most of the time, but if a sad event occurred, my mother would switch to a young child name, a name she used when very sad. She's say, "Oh Jimmy, ... ." and then tell me that someone had died. This name I did not like and mother did not use it when we were in public, but in case of great sadness, it was used just between mother and son.

I preferred that my parents address me by my first name or son, rather than "Hey you".

Cultural differences exist from region to region and within families. This was one of my greatest difficulties I had to deal with after I left home. Within my family, personal feelings were communicated by subtle verbal cues, and these were very different to what I found in the "outside" world. My young ego got bruised a number of times.

I thiink it is an extremely loving phrase myself. I actually enjoy hearing it. I also like hearing coaches call their players "son" and have even heard umpires/referees etc. use the term fondly! Totally disagree with your point of view on this one, for sure!

I agree with the others. it is not demeaning. actually it is quite the opposite. My DH did a lot of youth activities as a volunteer. He would use names as a way to catch a boy's attention but if he was working one on one with them even for a minute or so he might switch to "son". It's a closeness thing just like in some circles a man may call a peer bro or brother.

"If a father had more than one son, then a name would be added to designate which one was spoken to or about. "

My Granddaddy had 5 sons and called all of them son most of the time (but used names when talking about them to others). They knew by his tone which one he wanted and if they were in trouble, lol. It was definitely a term of endearment- he was oh so proud of those boys... and then he finally had his "Doll". She has always gotten picked on because not only did she have her own nickname but her own bedroom, they all had to share both, lol.

I think it's a very complimentary nickname. Defining a closeness. My parents never said "son" or "daughter" as nicknames but my Mother often called my sister "Missy". Nobody really knows why and we never asked. No other special nicknames for others. Clearly she was special to my Mother and I understand that. Kind of heartwarming.

I'm not sure I'm clear whether it's just the term "son" that the OP finds offensive or nicknames as a whole? I've often wondered why people name their kids something and automatically call them by a nickname. Especially these days. That never made much sense to me and suggests to the kid the parent doesn't like their name.

I always call my daughter "Daughter". I answer her phone calls that way too and if I didn't, she would be very upset. I forgot to put (((Daughter))) on one of her cards, and she wanted to know if I was upset with her. LOL If I called her by name, she would definitely know I was upset. It's a term of love between us. To me it shows that a person is proud of their son or daughter.

I like it. I do think it's endearing.

But I disagree with those who say it's no different than a child calling his/her parent Dad/Mom. It's not the same thing at all.

Like Susieque wrote, it is NOT the same as calling mom and dad that. Generally, kids don't use their parent's first name out of respect. Maybe some of you did/do, but the consensus is that most didn't/don't. When addressing neighbors, etc as a kid, it was always Mrs. Smith or Mr. Smith, not Lin and Jim, again, out of respect.

I guess I'm just missing the point on this "son" thing. IMO, it is very impersonal and if I had a son and my DH called him that, I would have nipped it immediately. But, that's just my opinion.

I also don't see anything wrong with saying "the boys" or "the girls" especially when referred to them as a group of people. My mother had 5 girls and always referred to us as "the girls" when talking about us as a "whole".

When I use the word "son" to refer to a loved one I am using it with affection. It's a pet name and not at all demeaning to that person. I also say things like "honey, I'm very proud of you" ....or "sweetie do you want some lunch?" I can't imagine how anyone could be offended this these terms.

Calling someone "son" , at least to me, is a term of endearment, like honey or darling. Yet "daughter" is not, it's just a noun. Another example of odd language -my father used to call males (relatives, friends, strangers) "Bud".

i call my sons both by name and sometimes son-boy, lol...as for the grands (almost 9 of them) i'd be better doing girls/boys, instead of going thru the list...the kids are always twitting me about using the wrong name...

think most of the time dh uses names...what makes ME mad is our older son not saying dad, but calling dh by his first name....

I think it 'gives voice' to a special relationship. In a way it IS similar to a boy addressing his father as 'Dad'. It's laying claim to a familiarity and closeness as well as to the relationship. 'Dad' is different from the more formal 'Father' in most American families. 'Dad' replaces 'Daddy', as 'Mom' replaces 'Mommy'.

(Would that grown men and women would stop using the diminutives of their names as adults: Junior, Tommy, Chipper, et al. I rarely find a true adult who still uses a childhood name -- in the North, anyway! lol)

I'm not crazy about a coach calling a boy 'son'. It seems like a reminder of who is the Adult and who *isn't*. I doubt the boy is crazy about it either, but he's wise enough not to take issue with 'Coach'!

'Missy'? In my house that wasn't an endearment. It would be used if a girl had been 'sassy' to her elders. The male equivalent was 'Young Man'. ("Don't you take that tone with me, Missy/Young Man.")

My Dad called my brother son. He called me Sister. That was on the good days.
The things he called us on bad days were horrible. Son and Sister were GOOD names.

I also consider it a term of endearment. I think I'd be more concerned if a father called his son "Boy". That sounds impersonal to me, but none of us can ever really judge what's in a person's heart. I often call my DH "Husband". And when I do, it is because my heart is full of love and appreciation for the fact that he is indeed MY husband.

When my DS was in basic training in the Army, he thought it was amusing that at times a drill sgt. would call him "son" because no one had ever called him that. DH some times called him "junior" as a term of endearment I guess. DS is not a junior. I don't see anything degrading about calling a son a son.

I think it's sweet and love hearing it. I've also heard and been called daughter. I find it personal rather than impersonal. I'm the only one in the room my mom is going to call daughter. Although, at almost 43, my mom mostly refers to me as "The kid". She'll say "give it to the kid" or @here you go daughter". The little hairs on my neck rise if my parents or DH use my name. I feel like I'm in trouble or something. She used to call my brother "Sonny boy". Not sure what she calls him now. His name is Terry, I think it's just Ter. My dadnames few names for me over the years. Nut I'm mostly Dan or Suge (sugar). My grandparents are responsible for "Dani Honey".

Ugh, sorry for all the typos. I'm sober, I swear!!! :)
It's this dumb iPhone and it's touch screen keybord.

never thought about "son", but the commercials (seems like it's for ipod or some such) where the father calls his son "Sport" or "Pal" are just awful.

People don't even call their dogs Sport or Pal any more!

I have always felt it was far more endearing when I hear a man call his son by "Son" rather than his name. He is pointing our their special relationship when he calls the kid son. I think it is a special thing.

My husband has a cousin, and she and her husband always call their son, "son". We were actually talking about it again earlier today. LOL "Son! Don't do that!" That's how he was scolded. If it wasn't for another relative, we would've forgotten his name. hehehehe I hate when people do that. I don't even like those terms of endearment couples use. Like, hun, sweetie, pumpkin..... gag me with a spoon!

My mother called me Sister and she called my brother Son or Billy Boy. My daddy called me Sweetpea and my brother Son or Rooster. They are all terms of endearment and showed us that we were special to them. Our real names came out when they meant business. When using the term Son, you are telling the person in question that you are very fond of them and you feel pride in them. Impersonal??? You've got to be kidding.

DH's dad called him "Kid" He passed about 2 years ago. I know DH would give anything to hear the words "Love ya, Kid" from his dad just one more time.

sylvia -- You'd probably feel the same way I do about the man I know who calls his *wife* "Sport". Ewww!

It's another example of what I've said for years. Some letters strung together are not offensive, it's more the intent of the user. The term "boy" is no different when said to two different people but some can mean it affectionately and some derogatorily. And some of course want to find offense in anything said. Little letters... how they get reactions at times. The infamous "n word"... endearing if said by Eddy Murphy, inflammatory if said my Mark Fuhrman. Language is curious.

I spend a ridiculous amount of time around ball / track fields. I hear boys getting called all kinds of things by there dads. Sport, pal, and champ too. I call my kid Crash half the time.

What I don't understand, and it drives my crazy, is why do so many (most in my town) parents call their little daughters "Momma". I hear it ALL the time. "Hey momma" grrr it drives me nuts!