I agree with your husband - except I would write a nice letter stating what you have have posted, indicating your displeasure that she did not provide you with design choices in the styles you had discussed and do not feel you owe her any more money. Also confirm in writing that as of (date you told her to stop) you would no longer need her services. DH is right - cut your losses and put it behind you - hopefully learn from this experience.

I agree with your husband. If the lady in question is ASID, she is taking advantage of you because she should have produced more than you describe for 5+ hours of work. She should also not be "looking" for chairs and beds; it's her business to know styles and manufacturers already---her knowledge (supposedly) is what you are paying her for!

If there is a store you particularly like, you'd be better off with a design professional who works there for your major pieces. Good luck----finding the right person is NOT easy!

First and foremost -- post lots of photos on a site like Photobucket -- then post them here and let the group here take a look!

Then -- take measurements of all of the spaces! This step is crucial -- you need to know the sizes of rooms, windows, hallways and doorways (just imagine if your BIG purchase could not fit through the door!)

Now -- find a small binder and fill it with clear plastic sleeves -- and separate it into rooms. Put in those measurements!!

Take photos of each and every space! Yes -- basic photos that can be slipped into your Decorating Notebook. This is the true test of "a picture is worth a thousand words!" Or -- in this instance -- thousands of dollars!! This notebook saves time, tears and steps.

Next -- time to do some research -- look through decor magazines and try to figure out a decor "direction" Tear out pages -- and add notes to find out what pleases your taste OR not! The key is to find recurring themes like "cream-colored kitchens" or "dark wood furniture" or "crystal lamps" ((JUST examples!!!))

Also -- check out stores in your area and online to see if there are items or ideas that might work for you too!

Here's a hot link to one site -- starts at kitchens -- but there are LOTS of other categories too!

Here is a link that might be useful: Design Assistant -- lots of inspiration photos

I had a similar experience. When I presented the colors the decorator gave me to the Homeowner's Association they rejected them! They said my house would look like it belonged at Walt Disney World!

I agree with teacats - you can do it! Imo, you will get a lot of satisfaction from making your own choices (with others help).

Unfortunately, Bluemoon, I agree with the others. You need to cut your losses. The very same thing happened to me not more than two weeks ago. I want to have a new patio installed. I called what I thought was one of the top landscape companies around here. The owner came out, very professional, well-dressed, lots of colorful folders, etc.
He said his MO is to do a design, for which I paid $300. I gave him my budget and told him some of the things I wanted and didn't want.
It took four weeks before I met with him again (loss of valuable time when I could have been meeting with others) and he presented me with a drawing and an estimate. The estimate was over three times what I told him I could afford and the things I was very specific about were not incorporated into the design.
He called back and my husband just told him we couldn't afford it - he did not offer to back anything out. I found out subsequently that this is his MO. He is not looking for $6K jobs. He explodes them into several times more.
Lesson learned - although I did get a blueprint with some plant choices. --- like several Hydrangea -- we are in an area highly populated with deer - Hydrangea is one of their favorite foods!
There is a huge wealth of information here. I worked on several rooms in my house with the help of the wonderful and talented people on this forum. Give it a try.

bluemoon,

I'm so sorry to hear of your bad professional design experience. We just built our home last fall and basically fired our interior designer, who, by the way, charged $100 per hour. When I called her up initially, I told her that I preferred an updated/modern, uncluttered country look. I don't care for ultra-modern, elaborate, or sophisticated decor, impractical for a young family. She said that while that was not her personal style, that she had the skills to work with any style. Yeah, right!

She proceeded to choose all sorts of things that weren't our style, i.e. metal, diamond insets for the bathroom floor, roman deco tiles for our whirlpool tub surround, cool paint colors (we wanted warm colors), and fancy things that just didn't suit our lifestyle at all, none of which I would describe as modern country, by the way. Not only that, but she was very rude and insulting to the workers at the various stores we visited for choosing these items. Well, $800 later, I wrote the check and "cut my losses" as your husband mentioned. She kept contacting us after that, stating in a nutshell, that we could screw up in trying to choose our own lighting fixtures without any professional assistance. We ended up going back to the suppliers and undoing all the choices she insisted upon making with our money. We chose our own paint colors and fixtures, everything. She is certified by the design association, but was completely a waste of money and time. We apologized to the vendors for her rude behavior, and it was all just a very negative experience.

I know it is overwhelming when you get a new home. You want everything decorated right now. I'm sure you can save a lot of money by doing your research and taking your time. There are lots of options that don't cost a ton of money. For example, many furniture stores offer free design services, such as Ethan Allen. I've heard some people say that they require you to commit to a minimum purchase amount, but this was not the case for us when we bought our dining set from them. I have received a lot of excellent free advice right on this forum. There are free room arranging software packages available on the internet so you can envision your furniture arrangements. Also, consider using blue painter's tape to mark out the dimensions of furniture you are considering on the floor of your room. See if you have plenty of walking space, etc. and are comfortable with the layout before purchasing.

Our house is not anywhere near finished in terms of decorating, but I will say that I am very pleased with the choices we've made so far. We get a lot of compliments on everything, and in the end, we really didn't need an expensive designer to accomplish this. Good designers provide valuable services that their clients want and need. It sounds like the person you worked with was not responsive to your desires and not very productive either.

The advice given you so far is very good, and I agree with it completely. It is just so unfortunate that some of the professionals do such a poor job at their customers' expense.

Jan

I had a simialr experience with an ASID I actually liked.

She had done a treatment for an odd sized window in our last house. We really clicked and she had exquisite taste. DH knew how much I liked her and gave me a $400 present of her time.

She said that she raised her hourly rate because people were using her for "ideas" instead of "product". I countered with total understanding and stated it was fine with me as her ideas were what I wanted and I was willing to pay the price.

We both loved France and Italy. I was looking for inexpensive ideas to incorporate European influences in our home without looking "contrived". She loved what I had done with our master bedroom and I thought the next step would be some tweaking of the rest of the house.

When I went to her studio, she had proudly arranged a drop-dead gorgeous vignette of fabrics, wallpaper, color palette etc. She had scrapped the drapery panels she had just done for us that cost $1000+. The wallpaper she picked for the master bath cost over $400 a double roll. Well, you get the picture.....

I asked what I owed her, paid the $425 and left, her jaw dropping as I walked out. I still feel badly about that and that I didn't explain why, but I had SPECIFICALLY told her I just wanted to bounce a few ideas off her.

She is now in Florida so if anyone with deep pockets wants a great designer let me know, we just couldn't afford her.

I was thinking back and when in our first house, I had gone to an interior design store. The lady was just starting in her business, came out to my modest ranch, suggested a few pieces and we bought them. At that time, I was mostly interested in wall accessories.
When we bought this house, I called her again as now I had way over double the space. She came out, did not charge for her design, but I know I paid big time in cost of the products I bought from her and through her. I bought furniture, carpeting, drapery fabric. Huge amounts of money and this was almost 30 years ago. At that time, I thought I didn't have a clue and could not do anything myself. What I did learn was that most of what she did was her taste, not mine. Most of it I liked, many things are no longer here. But I still have the dining set and some of the oil paintings.
My point is that I greatly underestimated what I could do. I thought I was incapable of choosing anything. Now I still don't believe I am that great at it, but with the help of a lot of reading and the great people on this forum, I have redecorated several rooms over the past few years.
So the moral of my story --- Don't underestimate yourself --and most importantly, don't let anyone talk you into liking their ideas.

I am a designer, and like your designer I charge an hourly rate. Because of that, I pass on ALL of my discount to the client - my cost = their cost. I do this because it assures that I have the clients best interests at heart. Whether they buy a 2K sofa or a 10K sofa, it doesn't affect my bottom line. I am in the minority in this industry, most designers still take a percentage of product sold, or, like your designer, an hourly fee plus a percentage.

Here is my problem with your designer... She was only giving you about a 15% discount. (This is assuming the average discount from vendors is 40% off of retail. Some vendors give you less, some give you more.) That is pretty paltry, considering you can negotiate that with a retail store on your own.

I wouldn't say that she couldn't have possibly worked all of those hours for you - I think it is very possible if you were looking for something pretty specific.

She should also not be "looking" for chairs and beds; it's her business to know styles and manufacturers already---her knowledge (supposedly) is what you are paying her for!

This is true, to a point. But the fact is that there are so many styles and vendors and possibilities for furniture and accessories, no one person can know all of them. And unless you want a room that looks like every other one that designer has worked on, you need to expect that the designer must do some research on your behalf.

Here's a little story... there is a design firm in town that has very wealthy clients and does fancy-schmancy work. Their rooms are often showcased in national publications. I must admit their work is beautiful. I have been in several homes they have done and have seen the SAME FABRIC!

If you have been in a fabric showroom you know there are literally tens of thousands of patterns in one showroom. Multiply that by 6 or 10 showrooms at the average design mart and you have a couple HUNDRED THOUSAND patterns to work with. Yet they are telling me that out of that mind-numbing array of choices, this one particular fabric is the absolute best choice for more than several clients?

ANSWER: Nope, it's not the best choice for the clients, but it is the best choice for the design studio. It turns out that they own several bolts of this particular fabric (which they would buy for even lower than cost) and charge full retail prices for. Again, there is that conflict of interest thing...

Anyway, back to the OP. I think it would be best if you stopped working with this person. I personally don't like her fee structure, but more importantly I feel your trust and confidence in her has been compromised. You will not enjoy the process or the final product if you are always second guessing her - or yourself.

Nicole

You've gotten great feedback here from people far more knowledgeable about these issues than myself. I just wanted to say i'm so sorry you went through this - it's terrible to feel like you've been taken advantage of.

As others have said, put it behind you. Start moving around your space, envisioning what will make you feel good there. Everything doesn't have to be "just so" a month, a year, or even a few years after you've moved in. A home is a process, ever a work in progress. Take it one step at a time and enjoy the journey ...

Why are you looking to spend money on an interior designer? You have a whole team right here. :) My suggestion is to do it yourself, with some help from the folks on this forum: it will give you great satisfaction in the end. Just make a plan: which room do you want to work on first? what style would you like (traditional, country, modern)? Start doing some research on possible pieces, fabric, accessories and wall color/covering. Little bit by little bit, your rooms will come together. All you need is patience (give up the idea of getting it all done yesterday and relax into the creative process) and some faith in yourself that you can do it!!!

Wow - you guys are great! I should have known to come here first, since I had such good experience at the kitchen forum a few years ago. Thank you so much.

I'm going to take all your advice and move forward on my own, perhaps with some (free) assistance from furniture stores. I already measured my living room and will start a new thread to get feedback on its floor plan. BTW, how do I post a drawing of the room measurements? Is there an online program that you recommend?

Sorry about your bad experience. Hope you recover quickly.

I had to cut my losses after $2200, if that makes you feel any better. My designer worked for a firm that had you sign a contract for a minimum of 15 hours. NEVER AGAIN!

I have to take some responsibility for wasting the time and money though, because I was not prepared with my own ideas and pictures.

I have been stung by designers twice with new homes. I am a professional woman but also had four small children and grew up with a limited income on a farm. So when later decorating a large home and finally had a nice income I was so intimidated by the designers who neither had children and convinced me twice to put white carpeting in my bedroom because the "children" wouldn't be in there. Pleeeze!! The designers always looked like a million bucks and I had oatmeal in my hair and flipflops on. I had no interest in oriental design but a designer convinced me it was all the rage so I spent more $$ than I should have on wall art, uncomfortable furniture and little brass or china things to sit around on shelves. I felt like a fool. But the time before I did the Ethan Allen look with floral wallpaper and my house looked like Ralph Lauren exploded in it. Never trust a designer whose name ends in "i" like Bambi, Wendi, Mandi, Tami, etc. (Just kidding all you "i" people). So where am I today? Well, we sold our large home and I gave away a lot of the furniture to the kids (they really didn't want it) and what I didn't sell in a garage sale I gave to goodwill. Some lady shopping in a thrift store is wondering who will ever buy those ugly brass bookends. The children are all grown and my hubby and I are downsizing, we bought a cute historical cottage in a great neighborhood and with the help of an architect enlarged it some and made it fit our lifestyle. Gone is the formal living room, we only have one eating space (dining room) plus the kitchen bar/island, gone is the masterbath big enough to park an 18 wheeler in, and in is relaxed and cozy with a screened porch with a fireplace on it, rose garden, open kitchen, and a small carriage house for guests. I am having a fun time decorating it with MY style whatever that is and old enough I don't care what anyone else thinks except hubby. But it took me years to get to this place. After being married 40 yrs lots of stuff has worn out or just sick of it so it's fun buying new things. I think life for everyone is more relaxed than it used to be so lots to choose from. I use magazines, this forum, travels, etc to get ideas. I am also taking it slow, not feeling it all has to be done at once so I get something and live with that and it helps me see where I want to go next. Then I confess I do have some boxes in the attic of stuff I can't part with but really don't want and neither do the kids. I guess after we're gone the kids will get rid of it. Things like wedding presents, I had a big wedding 40 yrs ago and got silver revere bowls, silver nut bowls, candy dishes, expensive china figurines, stuff you can't quite part with but hardly ever used. We just don't entertain formally anymore. Also your taste does develop over time so probably you do have to make mistakes to figure out what you like and don't like. When I first got married we bought a large mediterranean sofa with arched cushions on the back, little wooden knobs between cushions on back, large wooden arms and it was some gold/brown mix and I was so delighted that we bought a gold velvet chair to go with it. Geez!! But at the time, I thought it was terrific. We had it through lots of kids and dogs. Don't beat yourself up, pay this designer off and tell her bye, try to make some lists of what you like and develop your style and take it slow.

Best way to start is simply take LOTS of photos of your living room -- and post them to a site like Photobucket. Then you post them here so we can see them!

Then let us know how you want the room to work for you -- and what items/decor/paint colors stay -- and what simply doesn't feel right. Always good to note what kinds of decor you dream about -- just so we can follow your lead .....

Here's some questions to think about when you are taking the photos:

How do you want the room to work for you -- reading? entertaining?

How do you want the room to feel -- cool and calm? warm and cozy?

Describe the room -- lots of light? not enough light? Not enough storage? etc.

Jan

I don't want to give you the impression that I am against using professional designers----far from it! I hired a professional designer when we moved. He came to my house, took photos of all my furniture and measured it. We then drove to the new house, where he measured each room and took photos of window placements, flooring, etc.

Within 10 days I had a detailed (3 sets of blueprints) sketches showing the furniture placement in the main public rooms plus the master bedroom. I had two color choices for each room and about 6 fabrics choices for each room. He also gave suggestions for things we might have to or want to change. We paid his traveling time plus a flat fee of $2500 for that initial consultation. Once I chose the colors and fabrics for reupholstery, he ordered everything. His painter painted about 3/4 of our new house; I got the bid directly from the painter, and he knew I knew that the designer would get 15% of the fee. We got the fabrics at cost plus 35% (which is standard, not 40%). Our curtains were fabricated in a workroom he uses. They were perfect, and installed with zero problems or callbacks. He ordered wallpaper (cost plus 35%) but since his wallpaperer was out sick I hired someone locally and did not pay the extra 15% design fee.

Once we were in, he came down and for his regular rate of $100 per hour he accessorized the entire house (I had, at his behest, put all the accessories in one room for him to go "shopping" in). He directed my local crew of helpers and hung all the artwork, arranged the books on the shelves of the library (for which he did detailed drawings of the bookshelves we had built and installed locally). It took about two and a half days to get everything up and arranged.

A few weeks after we moved into our home of about 6,000 square feet it looked like we had been there for years. Every step of the way I knew exactly how much we were spending, where we were in the budget and how much time he was taking. In some cases we paid an hourly rate, and in some we paid for the wallpaper/fabric/furniture and he was compensated through our purchase. In all, I think he was paid around $10,000 in fees and commissions (which was a small job for him) and we got much more than that in enjoyment, expertise, and "to the trade" items we would not have been able to purchase. He used every bit of our existing furniture (well, almost every bit) having it recovered. Hiring him was the best move we made and I frequently advise others to get professional help when they are too busy or don't feel up to the challenge of decorating their own home. In your case, however, it sounded as though your designer wasn't listening to you, wasn't taking your job seriously, and just wasn't "clicking" with you or your job. When all that is working against you, it's time to bow out!

mollie - It was such a pleasure reading your post. Makes me re-think all my "must-have's".