I would just give one party. As a guest, I would find it confusing, and perhaps even a little off-putting -- am I supposed to buy TWO gifts for the same person the same day? You don't want it to look like you are trying for double "haul" out of one party, especially because it is your own child. Sorry to be a wet blanket -- but you are going to go to a lot of trouble and expense for this party. Don't take a chance of alienating your guests. I would make it a shower, not a birthday party. Actually, moms aren't supposed to give their own children showers, but I would actually find that less strange than a parent giving her adult child a birthday party (unless it were a major birthday, like 40 or 50) -- especially on the same day you are giving her a shower. You can still have a birthday cake with candles. There is no reason men can't be invited to a shower. Trust the men in your life to be grown up. It won't hurt them to watch gifts being opened. Was that the reason for the double party idea? I would word the invitation just as for any baby shower, with no mention of the birthday and no mention of any registry. Serve whatever food suits your crowd and the time of day you want to have it -- I can't really make suggestions without knowing time of day or size and perhaps age of guests.

In the years I have lived in my neighborhood, there have been many gatherings....some omre successful than others. One couple annually held a Cocktail party for the whole street. Because it was "cocktails" and mostly outside, children were not part of the party but generally in the neighborhood so they could have an eye kept on them. That worked very well...cocktails at 6 and people were mostly gone home by 7:30. She did all the work....had a buffet of snacks, like a salad or 2 and mini sandwiches and some cookies. Another type of party when the kids were mostly teens was a block wide cookout in the front yards. Several people moved their grills to the front yard and the host family set up tables in their yard and people brought their own meat and drinks and the host family provided sides. Another type was everyone bring a dish to share, hosts provided beer and soft drinks and if you wanted something else, bring it. Another family would have a christmas party, with cocktails, appetizers and cookies and kid drinks...that was like 5:30 to 7....and always fun even if your schedule prevented you from more than just popping in to say hello. frankly, I think if you are having a party....do it all. It's not a lot of work or expense to make an easy meal and provide drinks for a crowd. It can be something very easy like hot dogs on the grill, baked beans, slaw and potato salad....with watermelon and cookies for dessert....or much more elaborate like grilled chicken or a sliced ham if you wish. Frankly I really don't like a pot luck....either because I don't much like fixing a dish and then going out.....and as a hostess I don't like wondering what will come in the door. If I were in your place, I would have a picnic, outside, kids invited, borrow or rent tables, grill something, make a big pan of beans, another of pasta salad and a green cold something...slaw, salad...something, fill a cooler with white and red wine bottles, beer and soft drinks....and don't forget water....and perhaps have icecream bars for dessert. Easy....and trust me....people will be very happy just to come and have fun. Linda c

I agree with the other posters (and I'm touched by the use of "Cuthbert"! :-) ) MOTB14, search this forum for strings on the idea of gift card showers (mostly negative, I'm sorry to say) and on the problem of showers for brides who have to travel and/or move. People have written a lot about these topics. In a nutshell, many people dislike "gift card showers" because they seem too close to a "cash shower" and because they are very boring to attend. Avoiding the boredom by skipping opening the gifts in the guests' presence is even worse -- then it's just an admission charge. (I realize that many people consider watching someone open gifts to be boring, too! But that's what a shower is.) At my daughter-in-law's shower, in her home town, most of the gifts came from her registries at 2 big stores with branches in most cities. Both stores were very happy to help us: her mom and I simply took the gifts back to the 2 stores in that city, and the stores shipped them -- free -- to the city where the couple lived. (Our original idea had been to return the items for store credit and then for the couple to use the credit to buy the identical items at the branches in their city, but the stores for some reason preferred to ship.) In your situation, I wouldn't worry about it. Anything that is too hard to ship and that they don't need to have immediately can stay at your home or someplace until they move back from Hawaii. My kids still have plenty of stuff at my house (including a couple of wedding presents). But the bottom line is, don't over think this. Most people have a few little problems moving stuff from one place to another, and that's just the way it is. Don't make your guests be the ones to solve it. (One poster even asked if she could ask the guests to pay for shipping!) http://ths.gardenweb.com/forums/load/wedding/msg0309412323245.html (this one even includes a post involving a move to Hawaii) http://ths.gardenweb.com/forums/load/wedding/msg120914427306.html http://ths.gardenweb.com/forums/load/wedding/msg0500440511886.html

Guests don't always know in advance that they will be in such situations. I didn't, so I was really glad I brought those covers. In any event, whether or not high heeled shoes are a good idea (on grass or otherwise) is not the point of this string. I was just sharing a product I found that is very helpful when you do choose to wear them when you may have to walk on grass, cobblestones, etc. Ridiculing people who wear high heels or even saying something like "wear flats" (as if that weren't an obvious possibility) is what is known as "thread cra**ing" -- like responding to a question about wedding planning with something like "Marriage is an outdated institution!" or "You'd have to be insane to waste money on a fancy wedding!" It's poor forum etiquette; please don't do it.