Not sure if I can be of alot of help, but will try and lend what I can. My daughter lived with her dad for approx. 4 years, and I recieved custody back 3 yrs. ago. (by the way the reason I let dad have residential custody because at time I thought it was in her best interest- but later found out how very wrong I was!) Anyways, not sure if you are trying to get custody or just protect the best interset of your SD...but my advice is to document EVERYTHING!!! Write down the clothes she comes in and if they fit or not (perhaps even take a photo). If you call her and she explodes into a RAGE- write it down and what was sd. (i would suggest taping your telephone conversations-but don't think that is admissable in court if both parties don't know their being taped). If you and hubby take her for a haircut or for shots- write it down. Don't forget dates. Also if it is something that you think is very serious and harmful- there is always Child Protective Services. Call them and you can make an anonymous report and they need to investigate it. If this is something you want to pursue through the family court- then go ahead. But unfortunately it is very expensive to hire a lawyer to pursue something. I paid over $6,000 to get my daughter back- but best money I ever spent! I do feel for you and will keep you in my thoughts. We have LOTS of problems with my hubby's EX- she is like you sd- swears and is totally unreasonable about everything! It's very frustrating! Try your best to be there for your SD and let her know you and BH are always there for her if she ever needs anything or just to talk. Sounds as if the poor thing has no stability at home. Hugs to you.

Me too Kat! Bunnylover, I tried so hard not to cry yesterday because I knew it would make it worse for her and her boyfriend. I did tear up, though, can't stand it when other people cry. She sent me a message on Facebook and is home now. Her boyfriend came over last night to give me a hug. He said he was too upset to think about it at the airport. Poor kid. He, Lauren and one of Lauren's friends played dance, dance revolution last night and then we played a couple games of Sorry. He's a nice kid and I told him he was welcome over here anytime.

We ahve also had exchange student. The first couple of weeks are hard with adjustments for everyone. I expect some of what you saw was just being overtired! What program are you going through? Do they have a "counselor" type person who oversees their stay? We went through Rotary and they had a member assigned to them. They took them out to eat and talked about any issues the students were having. They would also sit down with us and go over anything we were concerned about. They did a family meeting within the first few days to go over rules and expectations. It really helped! Let me know if I can help!

The thing that concerns me about your post is that deciding to take on the responsibility for someone else's child, a child who probably speaks English as a second language, etc, really shouldn't be a spur of the moment decision. It should be something you've given a great deal of thought to, and probably some months of planning--to make sure you have the appropriate space, you know about the program that they're involved with, you have touched base with their teachers to make sure everything goes smoothely for them, possibly your family would be taking some 'crash' language classes to help communicate with them. I just don't see getting involved last minute as being the way to go for the best experience for either your family or the visiting child. Make sure you've got all your bases covered and are truly ready to take in a person from another culture, who may have VERY different customs than your family does. If it is too late for this school year, why not consider getting involved with one of the programs where students come for a month or so during the summer. Dsis just had a little 14 year old Spanish girl (from Castille) for a month this past summer. If you plan on doing this next summer, you'll have time to get things in order, plan for some activities and trips, maybe learn something about your student's country and language in the meantime. I will say this, though.. Dsis told me that she really lucked out. Her student was lovely and well-behaved. But she got the best of the bunch, that most of the other families had major probles with the kids they took in (one got the surprise of a several thousand $$$ phone bill! among other things)