Thanks for the ideas. One of the problems is that they live in a rural area and meals on wheels isn't available to them. The home health people are coming on Monday and I thinking that I am going to go over when they are there to make sure that they get all the bases covered. My mil is the kind of person that is always the first to help others but never asks for help herself. I am going to call one of the church members that lives closest and see if they can get a group together to take meals over every other day or so. My FIL is the problem and thinks everything needs to be a hot dinner. Me I could make a pasta salad and we could eat it all week long with sandwiches or grilling out. But that wouldn't be enough for them. So will have to do some thinking. Also FIL's son ( MIL and FIL married when in their 50's ) lives in town and hasn't worked for months and has been taking money from mil and fil and part of me feels that he needs to step up and help. But I want to do what I can to help. With 3 kids under 4 and one more on the way, I have enough on my plate to deal with but will muddle through. I think the most important thing is to be there when home health comes and to make sure that we cover all the bases, physical therepy for both of them, bathing, cleaning, and cooking. Otherwise I know that my mil won't ask for help, but I am not afraid to ask for help for her. Stacie girlsingardens

Thank you for telling me what I know should have happened long ago. My sister and brother-in-law are both lawyers.We haven't wanted to upset Diane right now because of her health.But, we are going to ask Bob to help us get him out of here.Like I said, I don't want them to take them, I just want to know how to get him out.When Ken was in the hospital back in March because of taking to many pain pills, I asked the nurse case worker how I could get him out. She told me that because he was a relative and that I had let him move in, the only way to get him out was to take him to court. That doesn't seem right, and because of mine and Jim's health issues, I didn't go further.You asked me if he had mental or physical issues that would make him encapable to take care of himself. He somehow graduated from HS, has held jobs, only ones that Jim or my Dad got for him, and is not so much in pain from his back that he can't work. Sears let him go because he told them that he could only come back to work if he could work for two hours and be able to sit for 20 minutes when he needed to. The disability that he is getting is from insurance that he is payin #179. a month. It is not Government disability.As far as mental, he is really a filthy person.He doesn't shower, my children came over and tore up the carpet in his room, and painted his room purple, what he wanted. And his room is filthy already.I put his microwave and toaster oven on the porch because it is filthy and I don't want it in my house.Shortly after he moved in,I found bugs in the house so made him pay for an exterminator. He pays that every month.Sorry for venting, but that is about all I have done since he has been making our life even more miserable lately. He told me he is perfectly happy here, isn't leaving, and I can't make him leave. New Years resolution. He will leave here. We have looked into HUD houses, but they do inspections and you have to keep the place clean. So, if he doesn't and once he is out, he is not coming back. My Jim use to be a locksmith and this will be one happy job for him Thanks again, for listening.

Sorry to hear this, dg. Sending good thoughts to your friend.

I don't know about the no stitches with abdominal surgery but my SIL just had hers done that way. I was surprised too, and in more than one way. I hope this isn't TMI, and of course I'm not sharing her name but with an alarm from her PC with a physical (no symptoms), she was sent to Seattle Cancer Care and after several tests in a rush of a week, was in surgery. They removed ovaries, tubes, a couple of large fibroids then put her uterus back in place (so bladder wouldn't shift) and didn't take that too. No cancer. It was a long vertical incision. No visible stitches, all were internal and then tummy steri stripped. They used some kind of infusion of pain med too before closing her up that was supposed to last about 96 hours and it did. I don't think she took any of the narcotic prescription they sent home with her but was fine with tylenol and advil. She had fatigue, little to no discomfort. It's been 6 weeks and she's doing great.