Hi to all, God Bless you. I hope I have the faith and courage you all do when the time comes. I have been lerking in the shadows for weeks now. Reading and hoping to see the magical answer to the question our 21 year old daughter threw at us last month. Our 3rd grandchild (second grandson)will be born in Septmenber. She has decided she doesn't want to raise him after he is born. She has had a tough life for a young adult. Cervical cancer was discovered the week before her 18th birthday. She has had several surgeries to remove the cancerous cells and has very little cervix left. They said sh'e never get pregnant (other female problems too) and if she did she'd never carry till term. She is determined to have a healthy baby boy, but doesn't feel she's ready to raise him and wants her father and I to take him immediately after he is born and raise as our son. A million warning lights flash in my head. 1) We are too old 43 and 44. 2) Our youngest child of 5 is 16 and very active in school and will go on to college in three years. We'll then have an empty nest and were looking forward to it. 3) Our oldest two are raising their children. 4) We like being grandparents. Can send the kids back when we get too tired. 5) What if she changes her mind after she grows up and wants him back? 6) I just got a wonderful new job last July. Don't know about raising a child and working full time. Adoption by a non-relative is out of the question. My youngest brother and SIL have not been able to conceve and are finally after 3 years getting their baby boy from Guatamola in August or September. My older brother and SIL had "help" conceiving and have two beautiful little girls. Our family is very close and I am unsure of what the opionion of others would be if daughter gave baby up. I haven't even begun to think of what my mother would say. I know I am rambling. I'm just so glad to have somewhere to bounce my fears and ideas off of. My husband is very supportive and will do what ever needs to done for the good of our grandson. P.S. Daughter just moved to Florida. We live in Michigan. Would love to hear from you all on how to prepare for this lifestyle change. Take Care.

@tishtoshnm: Oh hun, I don't split the wood with a maul, I use a 3-ton, PTO hydraulic woodsplitter! We burn 5 to 6 full cords every year and if I had to use a maul we'd have frozen to death years ago! Remember, the very first thing on my list of DH's jobs was keeping the d*** cars and machines running, and that includes the woodsplitter and its power supply. I probably glossed over it a bit in my post above, but we had some really hard times over chores in our early years, too. I blush to remember quite how grumpy, cranky and just plain, b**chy I was about it. Sometimes (but more often not, I fear) with justification. Like when the above-mentioned woodsplitter was often on the fritz for months on end preventing me from getting the wood done in time for good seasoning. Of course, I could have hired someone to either bring the wood (not split the way I would have wanted it) or to fix the wretched machine (not done the way he would have done it) but instead we squabbled over it, endlessly. Ex: When we married we were both wood-burners. I was horrified to discover that my DH was content to dig wet wood out of the snow and throw it hissing and dripping on to a smoldering fire. I need to have wood stacked up two or three years in advance to feel secure. I needed to have wood separated by species so I could match the BTU-load to the heating demand of the day's weather. Because I have small hands, I needed to have the wood split into relatively small sizes so I could pick up a log in one hand and load it safely. I needed to have dry kindling in the house every morning to re-kindle the fire. I am terrified of chimney fires so I need the chimney swept regularly (multiple times per burning season). I get great psychic comfort from neatly filled woodricks. I also was at home all day in a house heated ONLY with wood, while he was away in an overheated office. (Once he began working at home, the need for dry wood seem to be driven home to him for some reason. Hah!) Finally, it dawned on me, or maybe desperation took over, and I took command of the fuel issues. (Except for maintenance of the machines.) And Peace finally reigned in our household on this topic. But I really did have to get over my own embarrassment that I had taken over this "masculine" task. I used to be quite cagey about revealing who actually did the wood work in my family. What I learned from this was that I could get it all done, alone, and done in the way that made me happy. (Except for fixing the machines, which is still an issue.) And it taught me that I would be able to continue to live here if I was left living here alone. (Except for fixing the machines, of course.) We gradually started to practice a regime of "whoever is bugged the most about something, does it. And for the rest, who cares?" Not elegant, but practical and it certainly makes for a calmer, more generous and loving household. And that, over multiple decades, is pure gold. L. PS: There are different weights of splitting mauls, you should try more than one if you have to do it by hand, as I did before I married Machine-Man. Handle lengths also make a big difference, too.

When DD was small she watched me dress, and admired the bra I was putting on - it had a touch of lace on it. Later at the grocery store she announced to the bag boy "Mommy is wearing a really pretty bra today". I nearly died, the poor teenage boy almost died from blushing. Then DD said "No, really, she does. Go on mommy, show him!". I did not, thank you LOL. Another time she saw a cashier wearing a hijab and asked me if her hair was wet, because she was wearing a towel on her head. I explained what it really was, and that it was a religious symbol etc. etc. She really seemed to understand and that was that. But later, as we left the store, she yelled out to that cashier "Good-bye! And I am sorry you have to wear that towel on your head!". When she was REALLY small, she decided that she did not like vegetables, and all vegetables were PEAS. She was offered a sample of pasta. She peeked into the little cup and saw the veggies mixed in and said "No tak-you. It a pea!". She was always very polite LOL. She was (still is) fussy about food especially anything new. She had eaten plain pasta before, but I had cooked bow tie noodles this time. She was suspicious. I told her it was the same as the other noodles, just a different shape. She carefully licked the edge of a bowtie, and shuddered. I was so mad I had to STAND ON THE PORCH! Her and DH still get a kick out of that one. Dances.

We both will bust out laughing at things we find funny. Especially the antics of animals. Back when we had several Great Danes we were laughing a lot. Our little dog now will also perform some act to get us going. Quite often at tv shows too. I don't even remember what the conversation was or what we were watching but I made the comment quel grimace! Because someone was making a face.(imagine a baby tasting a lemon for the first time) My husband looked at me for a second and said did you just say Pale Green Moss?? To this day if he looks at me and says Pale green moss I just bust out laughing. The original time it happened I literally was on the floor laughing with tears. I will occasionally start saying things in Cajun French like that and he does not know the language so he just looks at me waiting for the English version LOL. By now though he has learned a few of my choice phrases including quel grimace!