After I do something like that, I just try and keep quiet. I have found that the more you talk about a bad experience with someone, the worse it gets. I have a hard time just keeping quiet but I have found that it's the best option, especially when I feel I don't need to apologize.

I think that sometimes in situations like this, it's smart to completely ignore the elephant in the room - sometimes those elephants wander away. Cheerfully email your cousin exactly as you always have, send her one of those overly affectionate ecards "just because you are thinking of her and that brings a smile on your face" - carry on as usual.

It may take some time, but I'll bet she will thaw and recover from that "virus" she had that had her out of commission and in bed for a few days.

This has worked for me in the past, and then I knew to very carefully delete without responding if I valued the relationship *LOL*

The thaw may take a handful of days of normal emailing on your part, depending upon how deeply she feels the arrow went in or how stubborn she is in examining her wounds - we all are like that to some degree and some of us need more time than others to let go.

I'm sure you will get some other great ideas on how to handle this!

Just send her a happy ODD day email..
It's one of only a handful of all ODD dates in the calendar.

5-7-9

which coincedently is my middles sons 12th birthday, he was another odd day..5-7-97

the next date..7-9-11

Neesie, I know what you mean. My best friend and i are so opposite in all the subjects you mentioned. She used to try to convert me and although I'm not confrontational, I finally said, I love her and really wanted to stay friends, but we have to agree to disagree and stay off those subjects. It has worked beautifully for over 10 yrs. I do get emails from my granddaughter that are political and I just delete them. No, no, no, you don't have to apologize. She owes you one, knowing how you feel about these subjects and still brings them up. Stand by your beliefs. Dottie

"I don't want to discuss politics, the NRA and religion with her to see if we are on exactly the same page because I know we aren't."

Well technically, by replying the way you did you WERE discussing whatever it was that she sent you.

I don't blame you for responding the way you did. It's hard not to say anything, and I used to think that my silence as a response to those types of things sent a 'message'. My relatives send me the most bizarre stuff and I think that by NOT responding they assumed I was agreeing with them and more goofy stuff would come in my email.

I had to firmly tell them to never send me any more emails that were forwards, and not to email me anything that was not specifically family news. It hasn't worked 100 percent but it sure has cut down on the junk.

If you miss receiving daily communications from her, I would do what others suggested and send a generic holiday greeting to get things rolling again.

nessie, sorry that your cousin has to do this to you. Some people just don't get it that another doesn't want to talk about certain subjects. I would never send anything to someone that I know would not want to read. I appreciate the same from others.

Hopefully she will cool off and get over it. Give her some time and then email her and see what happens. If she doesn't respond just wait some time again and try later. Remember you did nothing wrong. Standing up for your beliefs is a good thing. Others need to respect them.

Susie

went thru that during the elections and counter my coz with scopes several times...she finally got the point...what annoys me? she NEVER can take the time to send a PERSONAL email and let me know how her parents are doing...(even after asking)

I have 2 friends that are constantly sending me "their beliefs" and they both know how I feel...When I see what it is, I just delete or write and tell them I don't read that stuff any more....
I don't think you have to apologize, you have a right to what you believe.....

People should have to take an IQ test to get an email account IMO. Sure would cut down the number of emails and emailers if we got rid of people whose IQ didn't exceed their shoe size.

A very close friend kept on with the political garbage and I warned him several times and then did the same to him that I did to another, with whom it worked. I started sending the "opposite" types of email to him or I sent a response pointing out the flaws, misinformation, lies, etc. Worked with one, and the other flaked out. He said I was attacking him and we couldn't be friends anymore. We were friends for about 30 years and although I didn't like it, I don't like when people are drawn into cults and brainwashed into believing that kind of garbage. So I let it go. Then I got a contact from him asking if I wanted to throw away 30 years, etc, essentially he was demanding an apology. I thought long and hard but couldn't in good conscience condone that garbage so I simply said I never cut off the relationship, rather he did. If he wants to restore it, nothing has changed with me, it's fine but he has to be the one to open the door since he slammed it shut. Haven't heard from him again.

Such is life. People change. And not always for the good. It's truly maddening how gullible people are and what they'll believe. But then again look at shows that are popular.

These days people look for ways to be offended. It's a fad that I wish would wear off, but it's just getting worse. The "me-me-me" society we've created has blown up and people expect everyone else to be overly-sensitive to what they want. People don't want the truth anymore. They want what makes them feel superior. And that's sad.

So don't feel bad. Stand with your beliefs, morals and ethics. If they won't show you the respect to allow you to have your beliefs without trying to convert you, they're attacking and insulting you. True friends don't do that.

Wow, I'd say that was harsh. Guess if someone told me to curl up and die, I would be gone. No looking back. You got what you wanted, leave it be.

Toni, if you read the original message, I didn't wish for my cousin to curl up and die. It was what I said about the loud mouthed opionated dictator that implored for his message to be sent to everyone on her mailing list.

As many of you KT's suggested I have sent her a few generic e-mails since, with no reply. I guess if she wants to hang in there with the dictator she can. After all, its her who moved over a thousand miles away from home with only her computer to stay in touch.

I wish people would use the e-mail to stay in touch and not spread their political agenda. I do enjoy forwards when they are about animals, beautiful artwork, babies, girlfriend jokes, etc. But these angry, forward it to everyone you've ever met demanding ones can take a hike!

I just tell peeps, Please cut out the political stuff, when I don't want it.

If they don't cut it out, I send another message, next politcal thing, and you are banned.

Then, if nessecary, I ban.

No problems so far... but I did ban a few people.

Moni

*sigh*

Ya can't ban family *LOL*

I was having a LOT of trouble with one sister. Deluged and OMG, the LINKS she sent. Like a rabid dog. Links and links and links. I kept ignoring/deleting but when she would ask in a phone call what I thought of what she had to say, things would get tense because she would find out that I wasn't reading them. It did come to a head one day, I even came in here and asked for advice.

I finally sent her a long and loving email telling her that one of a political persuasion can't expect to "convert" another, much as a Catholic has little chance of converting a Jew. It is what it is.

I loved her, I respected the differences between us and I wanted to ignore them and concentrate on the things we did have in common.

She responded with the argument that she was very openminded and not trying to "convert" me. Then, she sent a couple more links, I ignored and deleted and she has let it go. For now. It's been LOVELY - we have the best conversations now.

I suspect that next elections the issue will raise it's ugly head again - I'll have to dig out that email and re-send it. And keep my cool. A relationship with her is more important than the frustration I have to go through at points - but I worry that a day will come if she pushes too much and rolls over me so hard that I will change my mind on that. I don't want it to ever come to that.

I don't know why people HONESTLY seem to feel that they can change another's mind through deluges of emails and links. People will believe what they will, and will change that belief if they so choose, for their own reasons. Or not.

It's everybodys right to do so.

I got an email joke from a cousin that was not my taste and offended me. It was a political one. I didn't say anything because I like that cousin. She is one of the few on that side of the family that I keep in touch with so thought it was best to ignore it. By ignoring it I think I got my message across.
Clare