Upgrading to a bigger house after the kids move out
14 years ago
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After 6 1/2 years, we moved into our DIY house.
Comments (37)Ya'll are making me blush! lol!! Seriously, I really do appreciate all your kind words. It makes me smile. Cotehele, my sunroom is not heated either. I did isulate it well though, so I can keep it comfortable with baseboard heaters in the winter and ceiling fans in the summer. The window is a standard exterior window with insulated glass. It is 4' wide and 3' high, a slider. It can be used as a pass-thru to the sunroom. The window has built-in J-channel trim on the outside (like you'd use for vinyl siding and we installed the drywall into that channel. The whole sunroom is drywalled. I can take a picture of how the window looks from the sunroom side this evening, if you'd like more details. If I had it to do again, I'd get a taller window that went all the way down to the granite countertops. I LOVE the way that looks and it would have been easier to pass things through there at a lower height. Cindy...See Moremoving out/in, same house, want organization
Comments (19)Julie, list those signs on Freecycle! That's great Freecycle material. Turn your DH onto Freecycle, if he's really looking for people who could use the stuff. My favorite give away saying: **I have faith that the universe will provide us with xxx if we need another one. **You KNOW we would have never been able to find that if we hadn't been digging in all of this stuff. **You have exceeded your fair share of the space, so you'll have to keep it in "your" space. **And just where, exactly, did this come from in the first place? **I DID deal with it, it's in the trash where it belongs. Remember, a place for everything and everything in it's place. **It's costing us $200 per square foot to store that thing. Is that worth it to you? Our current go-around is an old wool coat with holes, which he finally replaced. I'm going to cut out the wool and put it in the compost pile, but he thinks I should donate the thing. His feeling is that it's better than nothing if you have nothing. I told him there were tons of decent coats at the thrift stores and he could just go out and find someone living under a tarp to give it to. He's not willing to do that, so I guess I've won this battle. I actually did 90% of the decluttering when he was at work. I would load up the van and drop it off at the store right next to where I worked. This summer, he accused me of decluttering his boots. Turns out that he hid them from me in the trunk of his car! Gloria...See MoreMy daughter has moved out of the house and wants
Comments (33)Don't cut off all contact with your children, always remember them at their birthdays with a phone call and a card with $5-$10 dollars in it. Just concentrate on getting your own head together. It is now time for you, so even if you have to deal with the kids, you can do it in a calm rational manner. Like stated above, try going to a house of worship, take craft classes, yoga classes or something through your park district to occupy your time. You don't say if you have a job, if you don't, get one, at least a part time job, to get out of the house. That way you will have a little spending money to buy some new clothes. Don't let anyone talk you out of it either. Good luck! You can do it....See MoreFather needs help, stepmom wants kids to move out
Comments (22)I'm a stepmom of 2 kids... an 11-year old boy and a 14-year old girl... who live with my husband and I about 80% of the time. I have to say that I'm blessed - they are kind, loving and very respectful kids who have always treated me well. Even given that, I have to admit that I STILL find being a stepmom very challenging. I think like most stepmoms, I came into this situation with the desire to create a happy, harmonious environment for me and the man I married and his children. I still do. I care about these kids, and I want them to be happy and set up to have a successful life, emotionally and in every other way. But over time... again, even though my stepkids are such good kids... I have STILL found myself surprised at the amount of resentment (and sometimes even anger) that has built up in me. It's the result of a few factors I think. A big one for me is that I resent the fact that their own mother doesn't do more. I shared with my husband a few months back that he and his ex need to split the driving duties and other parenting responsibilities 50/50, while I only help out occasionally, versus me doing 70% of all of the pickups and drop offs for school and other activities. (Just because I work from home and have a flexible work schedule doesn't mean that I'm an on-call chauffeur for the kids.) Another big one is that my husband is happy to have his kids around all the time (of course, he's their dad!) while I really need time away from them where it's just the two of us. No matter how nicely I may share with my lovely husband that I need more time with him (i.e. on the third week in a row that their mom wants us to take them during the weekend when she is supposed to have them) on some level he'll always hear it like I am rejecting his children. This has caused major friction in our marriage. His children, their mom's lack of care for them and him making me feel like I need to fill the gap (or I'm not being supportive) is really the only thing we fight about. Before you call me evil, let me explain: So much of being a stepmom is holding your tongue. I really care about the emotional well being of my stepkids, and I don't ever want to say or do anything that may cause them pain or make them feel uncomfortable or unwelcome in my home. I'm not a jerk or anything, I'm a pretty kind person I think. But the amount of stuff that you may want to say out loud that you don't... about the kids, their mom, whatever... it's a lot. On some level, I feel like I'm always monitoring what I do and say. It's tiring. I have to admit that it's nice when they go to their moms, so that I can "turn off" so to speak and just BE in my own home. So I look forward to that time. It also gives me a chance to miss them and appreciate them even more when they come back! I see so many comments attacking stepmoms, and I'm sure there are some majorly s***ty ones out there, but there's also a lot of well-meaning ladies that really do care for the kids in their care. But guys, I'd just ask you to remember that these ARE NOT our kids. Everything we do for them, we do out of love for you. And it can be very draining. A mom gets fed by the unconditional love that flows effortlessly between her and her biological child. A stepmom does not. She gives a lot and really doesn't get a lot back. Overtime, you can start to feel like the hired help, a guest in your own home, and the lowest person on the totem pole. My advice for the original poster? If you're not willing to change the kids' schedule, then offer an alternative that she can work with - hiring a nanny. Seriously. I don't say that to be an a-hole, but really, it sounds like your wife is stuck in what's called a "double bind." She wants to support you by helping you with your kids (she LOVES you, after all) but at the same time, she really doesn't want to be doing most of what she is doing... but by not doing it, she feels she would be letting you down. It's a lose lose. Add on top of that the pain of losing the baby, and she is growing to resent the lot of you. Take the burden off of her. Look into hiring a nanny to carry most of the load. Yes, it will cost you some money, but hiring a nanny is much less expensive than paying for a divorce. Also consider setting a date night for just the two of you once per week that you don't break (and when you do go out, don't talk about your kids!). Much love to you and your situation x...See MoreRelated Professionals
Euless Architects & Building Designers · Martinsville Architects & Building Designers · Asheboro General Contractors · Ashtabula General Contractors · Casas Adobes General Contractors · De Pere General Contractors · Elgin General Contractors · Jacksonville General Contractors · Mankato General Contractors · Park Forest General Contractors · Pine Hills General Contractors · Renton General Contractors · Rolla General Contractors · Avenal General Contractors · South Miami Heights Home Stagers- 14 years ago
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