Medication??? Xanax

I agree. Xanax will relax her. Also have her ask for a aisle seat towards the front of the plane.. that way she won't feel so trapped.

And a seat where she can see the flight attendants, even when they're sitting for takeoff/landing---it's worth asking about when making reservations. Am just about to leave for a graduation and have my trusty pills with me....

Not going to be much help here... but my SIL works for a small telephone company. Their travel by air is restricted to locations at least 300 miles away. Otherwise, you drive & get milage. If she is truly terrified, she may want to offer to drive.

Can she drive or take the train? I too am terrified of flying. After many years of flying locally and internationally, I suddenly couldn't do it any more. Last flight was in 1983. I know how your cousin feels. Thinking about an upcoming flight becomes an all-consuming terror, spoiling whatever else you're doing. The easiest solution would be to remove flying altogether. Would her company help her with this?

If not, she could go to her doctor for a good anti-anxiety med. Good ideas for her to sit on the aisle near the flight attendant station. She has all my sympathies.

I have known several people who were treated with hypnotism for flying anxiety. In the course of treatment, they learned self calming techiniques that apparently worked very well.
I hope your friend can overcome this. A whole new world will open up to her if she can travel by plane.

I'm flying in a couple weeks for the first time since '96. I'm already pretty anxious about it. I'm worried that will build as the day gets closer. I get nervous as soon as I approach the airport parking lot.

This is my son's first time flying so I'll have to stay very calm for him. He's 14 but I still don't want to cause him to have any fears.

I am bringing a portable DVD player with headphones as a distraction. I'm hoping, if I can get absorbed into a movie, I won't think about how I feel about flying.

If it's not too far, maybe she can leave a day early and take the train.

Thanks for the suggestions every one.

Unfortunately, she has to fly, it's a quick one day thing. I checked out the train for her, it's almost 12 hours.

I agree, a mild tranquilizer might help if she is willing to take one. Of course, if she is going to a meeeting after she arrives, she would not want to appear "sedated!"

If she is worried about motion sickness, she could look for a non-drowsy medication for that. Ask her to think about where she wants to sit, aisle or window, because one may appeal to her more than the other. Or maybe she wants to be in the middle.

Remind her that the pilots have families and want to return home to them as much as your cousin does! It would be good to tell the flight attendant that she is very nervous. They can be helpful.

You could make her a little comfort kit: handheld video game like Solitaire, crossword puzzle book and pencil, easy-to-read magazine like People, and some mints (Lifesavers, of course!). It helps to stay busy.

Hypnotist. Definitely. And i'm pretty cynical.

Thanks socks!! Love the suggestions. Yes, she is going right to work from the flight, so she can't be all doped up.
Maybe I'll suggest the hypnosis too. although, not sure if there is enough time.

thanks again.........

Try to get a seat near the wing or forward of the wing. The tail of the aircraft goes up and down to keep the plane on a more or less level flight path. If you are prone to motion sickness, the tail seat is the worst one. Also, the action back there might be a little scarry for a first time flier.

The upside: If this is her first flight, afterward she will gain confidence and be less fearful of subsequent flights.

I was too rita till my hubby won a trip 2 years in a row to Vegas,So I said for him Id go.I dont like being somewhere where I have no control.It was also during 9-11.I went glad I did it was interesting.Ive seen enough of vegas too.Go, lifes too short you might enjoy it.

I have never understood why some people are afraid to fly. Are you afraid to ride in a car or bus? Flying is much safer than traveling by ground. I fly to CA every year but I would never drive there yearly because it takes too long and is boring driving across Nebraska and NV. My dad never flew. He passed up many chances for free travel with his work but then he died in 1966 when air travel hadn't become as popular as it was later.

I agree with Linda. Air travel is the safest way to fly. That is my argument to anyone who is afraid of air travel. "lack of control" is only an excuse - you have no more control over a bus, car or train. In fact, less - because with a car or bus there is the issues with other drivers on the road who you don't even know if they are legal drivers.

I guess this is where faith comes in......

I have never understood why some people are afraid to fly. Why are some people petrified of heights, spiders or speaking in public? Phobias are not always rational. I dislike flying, but for me it is more about feeling trapped because I am claustrophobic.. not because I don't feel air travel is safe.

If you are making a day trip, flying out in the morning, doing business at midday, and then returing late the same day, I advize to go easy on the tranqualizers on the way to. If you load up on meds on the way to, you'll be groggy for your midday business. That could ruin a career.

If you absolutely have to use tranqualizers, fly out early enough to have time to dissipate the meds before your meeting. Maybe fly out the evening before the meeting. This will give you a nights rest and time to calm yourself. You'll be more effective.

Lydia, you beat me to it. Phobias cannot be excused away or understood. They're there. I have phobias for heights, ladders and for doctors and no idea why. I went to doctors as a kid, climbed ladders and was in many high places. I really don't know why I have the phobias now but I do. And yes, I also know it's stupid, irrational and doesn't make sense. But when I had to go to the dentist a few years back, I had a panic attack. Never had one of those before in my life either, which certainly doesn't help matters. Try to tell someone that it's safe. Sorry folks, it doesn't work. The person does have to deal with it and people telling them "there's nothing to worry about" is not too bright. How many times to you see people telling kids there's nothing to worry about when going to the doctor? Or doing something else and then they say "it's not like going to the doctor!".

I don't understand the fear of flying, claustrophobia, fears of spiders, bugs, snakes or the like, but I do understand that phobias are not rational and I do understand that the fear and panic, the anxiety, is very real. I think most everyone has a phobia whether they'll admit it or not. One doesn't have to understand the individual phobia to understand that they do exist and are very real.

I just hope the fear isn't as bad as it's assumed here. Sometimes it's not such a big thing. Obviously it is exaggerated, but by how much, since "scared to death" of something would make it a non-issue. (Wouldn't it be ironic if someone were scared to death, of death?) The anxiety level could be controllable though. Let's hope it is.

Deep breathing exercises are very effective for me. A form of "self-hypnosis" is also helpful. Talking to yourself and talking yourself through it. Telling yourself that it's irrational and not worth getting upset about. Control your breathing and deep, consistent breaths. Reminding yourself it'll be over in ___ hours/minutes and think thoughts to distract yourself. Close your eyes and repeat I will not be controlled by____. Even things like crossword puzzles, math tests, trivia challenges - things to keep the mind busy and distracted can be helpful. Why do you think doctor/dentist offices have magazines? Pharmacy waiting rooms don't need them. (Very often anyway.)

Also, the less you say, the better. Let your cousin know you'll do what is needed but don't address it again. Bringing it up will often do more harm than good. Reminds them of the issue and again, maybe it's not as big a thing as you think. My mother was afraid to fly. She liked to fly when she was in the air but the takeoff and landing scared her tremendously. But she wanted to see her dying sister more than she was bother by flying so she flew down there several times. Now me, I really enjoy flying and the takeoffs and landings are my favorite part of the flight. But that's me.

Oh and definitely tell the flight attendants. They've dealt with it before. And just in case there is an issue where the panic is too severe it could possibly help keep criminal charges or something from happening. That's a worst case scenario, but depending on what the situation is, better to be aware than wonder why later.

Good luck to you and your cousin. I can certainly empathize with the situation.

I was afraid to fly until I was in my 50's.
After taking long expensive tiring cross country drives, I broke down and flew.
I was standing in line with an art dealer who just returned from Venice and he said he flies all the time. He was even in the air when the 9/11 tragedies happened.
I thought to myself, by gosh if he's not afraid to fly, I shouldn't be either.
Tell her to look around the airport at the families flying and how relaxed everyone is.
My mom refused to fly and I begged her to. She wanted to go to the Grand Canyon and Disney world one last time. It would have been too hard on her so she never went.
I regret I don't have those memories..
Fear can be beat. Phobias are fear with wings and take more time. Best of luck to her!

Thanks, Cynic....you put exactly into words what I was thinking.
People who do not have phobias could never, ever understand what it's like.

My brother (who is a pilot) agrees that airflight has a much lower rate of accidents than vehicles. However, he does acknowledge that despite there being hundreds of thousands of vehicle accidents as opposed to a much lower number of airplane accidents, in ratio to the number of accidents, vehicle accidents have a much higher degree of survivors. This might explain why some people hate flying.

Poor girl! There's a website that may help - www.askthepilot.com.

Tell her to travel early as there is less turbulence from other planes and as Cynic suggested, sit near the wings.

But I have to say that it's much better travelling now than it was 10 years ago. Most flights are very smooth now. It's almost like the planes have stabilizers.

I was probably worse than her, but now it doesn't bother me.