Try to relax and enjoy these years with your son. I never understood why people call it an empty nest when the kids go off to college. it is not. They are home every few months for breaks and then for the summer.
With the economy, many college grads move back home because they can't afford their own apartments.
And then I guess if you make things comfortable they might not leave until they marry! I am wondering though if this is what you really want.
My two adult college grads are out on their own. Yes, we still help them and are here for advise, but for the most part they are handling the trials and tribulations of being independent adults. I am so happy for them to to be able to experience this time in their lives.
I got my first apartment after college in the next neighborhood over from my parents. I absolutely loved the experience of being on my own.

My daughter got her bachelor's degree Thursday (yesterday). She wants to take the summer '"off", tho she does plan to keep her part-time job at Trader Joes (food store). I wish her good luck finding work in her major, "textiles".

This post was edited by jannie on Sun, May 26, 13 at 8:44

It takes some adjusting to when the time comes. I was so proud of mine when the went out on their own. They had all the tools to be successful!! Dear Abby wrote a short saying that read. "It is not what you do for your children but what you have taught them to do for yourselves that will make them successful human beings." That sure says it all. Make sure they know the simplest things. Not only will you be proud of them but they will be proud of themselves.

Oh I want him to go far and wide in this world. But I sure do love being around him. Maybe it's because hormones don't rule his life yet. (grin). He's still so sweet and kind. My biggest lesson I've taught him beyond being ethical and hardworking is to strive for a lady that he can cherish and who cherishes him. I managed not to do that three times. I hope he marries someone who appreciates him and whom he can respect and love as much as she loves and respects him. But I am not ready for it! I may not be even when it is time, a decade from now. I do cherish the moments, but they're never enough.

Little anecdote. His first grade teacher was really in love with him as a student. She told him one day he'd go to Harvard! And he said, Oh no, my mom would be sad if I didn't attend the university where we live. I had to set him really straight on that one. I told him I hope he'd attend whatever university fit his course of action, don't limit it! There are loads of fantastic schools. Funny, I'd never ever thought he should attend the place I work (not the university, the research side), it's just that I love where I am so much, he thought he should too.

Congrats jannie's daughter! I know she'll find work in her area. She probably just wants to find herself a bit. Completely normal.

I have to admit - I was SO glad when my daughter moved out. It's awesome!!!!

It is an adjustment when they leave home. The truly sad thing would be if they were unable, for whatever reason, to "spread their wings" and fly.

chloe, you made me smile.

hounds, we're going through that. My younger sister's child has cerebral palsy and she can't talk or use her hands very well. She spent the better part of her senior year in depression, worried, she'd never find a job. And we even tried the places set up to help people like her acquire skills to do so. That was a huge flop! She graduated with a "regular" high school degree, not a special ed and now works full time at her mom's office. But we know she's unlikely to really have her own place. It is really sad. She does what she can and we do what we can to support her, though.

My niece is "moving on" from fifth grade to middle school this year, and I'm feeling the same way. On the one hand, I'm so excited for her, and so pleased to see the bright, kind, beautiful, independent girl she's growing into ... but on the other hand, I want her to stay six years old, coming home from first grade to show me her drawings and sit on my lap.

I sing "Slipping Through My Fingers" a lot, too. Has nothing at all to do with whether you want them to fly; it's about how *you* feel.

Mine couldn't wait to get away from home and while it made me sad, it didn't take me long to appreciate it...You never stop worrying but the lack of being responsible for them is a breath of fresh air...

It is a whole new experience and it didn't take me long to enjoy the new found freedom...

Robin, you get through it because you KNOW - they will be back.

They leave, find out what the adult world consists of, and come back to the safe haven of home. I have a 22-yr. old stepson who left home at 18, went to Baylor and a college dorm room - found out very quickly that he had to do a few 'adult' things like laundry, cleaning and studying - phew!

That was way too much responsibility for him - he trotted back home. He decided to attend college in another state - lasted one semester before coming back home - the adult world isn't for him - he'd rather go to college and live at home.

He goes to college, works 25 hours a week, gets free room and board, free car to drive and someone to hang out with - I'm looking for someone to take care of me now, because it looks like a good life if you can get it!

I thought this was going to be about sending your DS to summer camp!

Of *course* he is adorable NOW, before he hits adolescence. Then you'll worry if he's surly and worry if he's not, and tear your hair out regardless. The year our DS was 17 was the worst year of our lives, and he was (and is) a very sweet guy.

I'm like Chloe, glad to see them out on their own. I love my freedom, my clean house, and being able to do what I want. I was a very involved Mom when they were in high school, and even in college we were "band parents" who went to every football and bowl game we could. But love them as I do, I'm happy they are far enough away to not come running home every weekend. I'm sure that will change when they get married and the grandbabies start coming. Of course, I'll probably be retired by then if things continue on the way they are going--DD with no significant other, DS "playing the field".

I'm kind of in between thinking it's going to be great to have a clean house, peaceful sleep (except where it comes to the animals waking me up), and being alone. Lauren's last year is coming up before she goes off to college or the Air Force, whichever she decides.

I see Alex at least every couple weeks. We meet with Lauren and Duray for dinner and/or movies. Sometimes on my last day of work I'll meet him to eat dinner when I get off since he lives in the city I work in. He's now working 6 days a week at our favorite Japanese place so I can see him but he'll be waiting on me instead of eating with me. It's a tiny place, though, so I can still talk to him. He has no girlfriend right now, when that happens, I'm sure his free time will be less free to spend with me and his sister.

Sometimes I feel like the teenage years have a real purpose - to make it easier on the parents when they fly the coop. I was kind of sad to see my youngest go off to college. He was an easy kid. Once he was gone, the phone wasn't ringing all the time, the fridge was always full and the laundry diminished by more than half.

Of course he was home a lot over the next four years, but by the time he was truly out of the house I was more than ready for the next stage of my life, and happy to have the house to myself.

My older child was such a pain that I was not unhappy when he went out into the world on his own. We are friends now, but I bet we would not be if we lived in the same house.

Ah ha! Pam, you've hit on it. He's my only child. And he's super easy to be around. I hope he turns hormonal so I'll wish he was gone. heh!

DH and I had our most difficult adjustment the day we left our oldest child and only daughter at the university campus where she started college at the summer quarter. I had spent the week since she graduated telling myself that this new independence was a good thing, that this was what we had worked for all her life, that she would do as well as we had at her age, that this was what we wanted for her, over and over again. As I hugged her goodby at the curb, I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and my chin quivered something awful as I tried so hard to put a smile on my face before the hug ended so that she would see a proud and happy mother. I don't know how successful I was, but I was aware that her new roommate saw my struggle as she watched from behind her. It became easier for the next two kids, but this first one was to us the recognition that our family would never be the same again.

Eventually, she married and moved to within an hour of us. I go up to help her with the little grandsons and chores once a week or to babysit. The middle offspring lives close to her and married this past year, so we see him often too. Our youngest is across the country, and still comes home for the holidays. We are lucky to have two kids living close by and three kids who are best friends.

I spoke of "dirtying the nest" in another thread--there's a good reason for that phenomena! As I said, my first two were pretty easy but they got a little snotty and tiresome in the summer between graduation and starting college; in retrospect, that's a good thing. My last was quite a pain and I'm grateful to God for that, or else I would have been a blubbering mess. I love her dearly, but it was not so hard to take her to school across the country. :)

But the most important thing I want to say to you is that at this stage of the game that you are in, I could not fathom sending my babies off to live on their own and worried how I would ever do so. Even when they began high school it did not seem possible. But every so gradually, you see them growing up and there is almost an ancient instinct that allows you at the right time to let go--I don't know how else to explain it. I remember talking to someone on the same subject when my oldest was beginning middle school, and here I am with my youngest beginning her senior year in college, in August. What's she going to do with an Art History degree?? But the girl is really wanting to stay in nyc to she'll have to figure something out. The other two are currently middle school teachers and loving it. Yes, I feel melancholy when any/all of them have been at home for a day or so, but then the feeling of Ahhhhhhh!! comes over me as I start to clean the house in peace. You'll be ok, rob, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

I didn't have any problem with my daughter leaving home. She went to college in Houston and moved into the dorm. I was a little worried about her adjusting, but she loved it and was happy. She did come home for a couple of summers. She got an apartment and was just so happy and I was happy for her. I never had empty nest syndrome. But, I was married for 15 years before she was born, so I had a long time with no children.

I love her with all my heart, and when she was in school, I was active in everything she participated in. I was so glad I didn't have to do that any more. However, having her living in Houston, less than an hour away, I am sure makes a big difference. We could meet for lunch or she would come out here and it was just a wonderful time. We are still very close but she has her life, and loves the city, and I love living in the boondocks.

I have a friend who, since her sons were probably about 10, couldn't wait for them to leave home. She wanted her home to be just for her and her husband without the nuisance of someone else in her life. I just think that it was sad to have that attitude. Her eldest son now lives in Australia and she seldom communicates with him and her other son lives in the city and she maybe sees him once a month and they're nice people.

I am the opposite. My sons who are 23 and 25 are still at home. They are however recent university grads and just don't make enough money to live on their own and we don't have the funds to help them with any living expenses. I don't have a problem with that. Interesting thing is that most of their friends are still living at home and with the older age group some are just starting to move out. My kids are seldom home between work, sports and girlfriends and I know that when they are ready they will leave and it will be time.

Every once in a while I make a comment about them moving out and they look at me like i've grown an extra head.

It will hurt when he leaves. No getting around that. But it won't be long before you are saying to yourself, "Boy, isn't it time for him to go to HIS home????"

They told me that's how it would be, and they were right. Sometimes I can't WAIT for my kids to go back to their own homes.

And that's how it's supposed to be. You didn't have them to keep all your life - you had them to raise and send out in the world to be successful, productive citizens.

All of these kind, kind words are really helping. Thank you.

Sjerin-one comment especially resounds. When you're ready to give birth you'll know came to mind. So I can really relate to that. I did just know. And I will again.

Best thing you can do right now... is enjoy him! Don't worry about later at this point.

Give him all the tools he needs to be on his own some day, and then let him spread his wings. :)

I did twice... with daughters... and after an initial shock, you realize, life goes on.

Moni

I have 4, in their 30's and 40's. They went off (college, military) and then all found their way back. It was soo hard when they were gone. 3 of them now live 1000 miles away, but they're "back" as is the one who lives 1 mile away. You just have to suck it up for a few years when they're "spreading their wings" and then they come back, not living with you (although one of mine did) but having a close relationship with you (even if they live 1000 miles away.)

I remember dreading it when my son was a tiny baby. I remember thinking at the end of the next decade he would be 20 and moving out. It goes by real fast and I have a grandson who will be going to college in three years and it seems he was just born last year. I'm just glad my kids live near by, and I see them on all occasions and see daughter a couple times a week.

I heard a joke many years ago. Three pastors, one Protestant, one Jewish and one Catholic were having a discussion about when life begins. One said life begins at the moment of conception, one said at the moment of birth and the third said "life begins when the dog dies and the kids leave home."

My DS is finishing up 8th grade. I think he has grown almost 8 inches in the last couple of years. Last month he had to shave his chin! IF you are close to your kids, you will still be close-no matter where they are. Today everyone has affordable phone plans, email, instant pictures, etc.

My oldest is 20 and living at home while going to college. She just got a part time job at Disney World!! Anyway, even though she has a BF we remain very close.