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The Kitchen Table
bob_cville

This past week -- Sad news

12 years ago

About a month ago my father was feeling very short of breath, and went to the hospital. They sent him home a day or so later with oxygen, antibiotics, and a hopeful diagnosis that it was bacterial pneumonia, rather than a worsening of the interstitial lung disease he had been diagnosed with a couple of years earlier (but never told us about)

He had been feeling better with the oxygen, but this past Monday even with it he was too weak to dress himself, and was taken back to the hospital. The ICU doctors wanted to intubate him, but he refused, so they had him on both an oxygen mask and those little nose tube things, basically as much oxygen as they could manage without intubation.

His children all live out-of-state and all went to Cincinnati as quickly as possible, but when we arrived Tuesday the discussion was already about how to get him home for Hospice care, rather than about recovery.

We were able to talk with him through the week although even that seemed to take a lot out of him. Over the next couple of days, although he was clear that he wanted to go home, the doctors resisted since his oxygen numbers were low enough that he might not survive the ambulance trip.

However by Friday perhaps through sheer determination, effort, and force-of-will he got his oxygen numbers up to the low 90's which is where the doctor's said they'd need to be so he could go home, and the Hospice people set the wheels in motion to get a hospital bed, oxygen, and a nurse to his house, and to get the ambulance scheduled.

We also had a remembrance gathering in the hospital chapel that morning, with his wife (my step-mother) his kids and most of his step-kids, his brother, and a neighbor who is a retired minister. It felt strange given that he was down the hall, in his room, showing at least a little improvement, but I'm glad we did.

Through that day my father kept watching the clock, and waiting for when the ambulance would come. He had heard the time of 1 P.M. but that was when the equipment would be delivered, and they'd need time to get it set up. We were told the ambulance would arrive between 3 and 7 P.M. Then as 3 P.M. drew near they announced it would arrive to pick him up at 6 P.M. and I heard him mutter, "That's three more hours."

When the EMT's arrived they moved him to the gurney, hooked his mask to their portable oxygen, and wheeled him away. My younger brother rode with him, and said that just after being loaded into the ambulance, his oxygen numbers were so low that the EMT thought he might have to bring my father back into the hospital, but my father worked extra hard at breathing and got the numbers up enough that they could proceed.

They arrived at his house, brought him and got him transferred to the new bed, and connected to the oxygen machine and settled and stabilized. After another half hour the nurse arrived, and she was getting oriented for the supplies, the drugs he was to get and the oxygen levels to use. With the nurse, my step-mother, and two of her daughters there, it felt a little crowded, so my sister, my brothers, one brother's wife and I went to a local restaurant for a late dinner. Just as we received the bill, my sister-in-law received a call that he had just passed away. We got there as quickly as possible but there was nothing that could be done but hug each other and cry.

Earlier that day at the remembrance gathering, several people had spoken about how it was such a big part of him to be with family and help them solve problems. I'm just glad we all could be there for him, and with him, and help him solve the problem of getting home. It has been a rough couple of days since then.

Sorry I rambled on so long, thanks for listening.

Comments (56)

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