I don't like any registries, really. IMO, it negates the whole point of a gift if someone orders the giver what to buy. But that's just me. I tend to give homemade gifts, anyway--quilts or afgans for weddings, play mats or baby blankets for births, etc--rather than anything on a registry.

Can't say I've ever heard of the sort you mention. Definitely wouldn't be picking up the tab for someone else's honeymoon--if they can't afford to go, they shouldn't! And if they can't afford a honeymoon, how on earth are they going to manage life in general in the future? Seems a bit shortsighted to me. Getting married isn't (or shouldn't) be an excuse to ask everyone you know for $$$

yeah, I'm not a huge fan of registries either, but it sure made buying a gift for my son when his friend got married last month. First time he bought a wedding gift and their requests were really very reasonable. He picked out a set of silverware for $80 for the couple.

I've seen registeries where they request $600 Kitchen Aid mixer. HUH? Mine was $199 and works just fine. Flat screen plasma TV's! Yeah, it was a few grand. Even the very rich inlaws didn't fork out $$ for that gift. I gave a slow cooker. LOL

Give what you want to give. Personally, I wouldn't pay for their honeymoon either.

They will do it as long people go along with their plans. I would stick with my budget instead of theirs. How about a snorkel? LOL

I don't mind the registries. Better than getting a dozen crock pots and coffee makers.

However, a Honeymoon registry indicates to me that they must have very well-to-do friends. I would never fit that category, so won't ever have to be concerned about what gift to buy.

Sue

Ditto Azzalea. And I love Vala's idea. LOL

I have seen the honeymoon thing on registries, but I would not contribute to that. I just don't think it's right. I want to give a tangible gift they will use and enjoy for years. We still have a few wedding things we were given over 30 years ago, and I remember who gave them to us too.

That said--we did not register anywhere (cannot even remember if it was done in those days)--but we really did not need the number of pepper grinders we got.

Debby, those big items are helpful to groups of people who want to go in together for a gift.

I think registries are helpful. I always get a gift as soon as I can so I get my price range.

Growing up it was always make a Christmas list and I see registries as the same type of thing. It's a wish list. If something is there that's within my budget, I'd go for it. If I saw that list, unless it was someone extraordinary, I'd be looking for the part that lists the sunblock they want.

Oh how I remember the 6 crockpots, fondue pots and whatever the current "fad" item is at peoples' weddings.

I still say cash is the ultimate gift. Never goes out of style. Most anyone can use it. It fits everyone. People love the color and it matches any decor. Seldom see it still in the box on a shelf, in the attic or basement and even less seldom is it ever returned. And nobody ever objects or gossips if it's "regifted".

I think these days so many people live together first and have what they need/want (not like it was when I was planning my wedding) and while I don't necessarily agree with this honeymoon registry I suppose it is easier than the couple returning all the unwanted gifts and using the money for something else. However if you want to give a gift that you choose then by all means do it. Personally I'd just as soon give $$ that they can use as they want, it saves me shopping, wrapping etc.
Diane

I agree it is a wish list and it has evolved from couples living together before marriage. Registry's are helpful, if for nothing else than getting a feel for their style. It says to me this couple NEEDS nothing. I would be inclined to give accordingly. The point once upon a time was to help a young couple get started...they already did. A modest congratulations gift is all that is needed.

I don't like the idea of a Honeymoon Registry, so I never give a gift from that list.

When my daughter and son in law got married, they had everything twice already. Both had been on their own for years.

Yes, they picked out some china, and some new everyday dishes.... but really didn't need much for their household.

They registered at a bike shop. The intend was, to buy a bicycle built for two.

Lots of people gave money towards this. From 25 bucks up. The total was so high, they could buy a higher level bike than intended.

I wish, the honeymoon registry was similar.. in the way, you could contribute an amount you felt comfortable with.

Some people get married later in life, and thus, are already pretty well set in there house hold.

Moni

When my friends got married they, too, already had at least one of everything they needed. Both had good jobs. So, instead of registering someplace for "things" or instead receiving money, they told people (an insert in the invitation) that they request either no gifts at all or a donation to one of 2 charities that the couple chose and provided the information about.

What a lovely gesture. It worked great and the 2 charities made out very well.

Oh - I didn't answer hosta's question. My opinion of a honeymoon registry? I don't like the idea. I don't think it's up to me/the guests to pay for activities of the honeymoon - side trips, excursions, etc. Or any part of the honeymoon directly. Of course, if I give money, one could say that that could go toward the honeymoon. But anyway, I'd opt to not pick something off that registry.

Sounds greedy, "entitled", to me.

When my son got married, his new mother-in-law returned all their gifts to the stores, took the cash and bought similar used ones for a fraction of the price at garage sales, then gave them their "gifts" and a huge wad of cash when they returned from their honeymoon! I thought it was outrageous at the time.

In a way, I still don't know quite what I think about it, and it was 14 years ago. I kind of admire her skill and organization of such an undertaking, but it seems cheap and underhanded. OTH, everything she replaced was like new and worthwhile, in some cases still going strong, and the cash was a welcome surprise.

I guess it takes all kinds.

I like wedding registries, and I use it as a guideline. If I know the couple really well, sometimes I get them something that they want or would like to have that is not on the list. I wouldn't use a honeymoon registry myself, and I would discourage my kids from doing it, but if I knew someone who was using one, I would contribute to it, to honour their wishes and to make them happy. The whole idea is to make the couple happy.

I don't really see the difference between a honeymoon registry and a traditional registry. In both cases, it simply points the giver to options that the recipients actually want.
If you are uncomfortable with it, give them cash (so they can go snorkeling with it perhaps), or choose something from the traditional registry or something else entirely.

I agree that it probably indicates that they already have all the stuff you might traditionally give like towels & crockpots & the like. I'm not wild about the idea but I do recognize that this sort of thing is becoming more in vogue and more acceptable than it used to be.

I very seldom give money as a wedding gift although I know that in some circles, that's what's done. I prefer to choose something off the registry or give something else that I think the couple will love.

When I got married oh-so-long-ago, we registered for china, silver and crystal. And people bought one dish or one place setting or one glass, whatever fit their budget. In addition I did receive all "the usual" stuff like small appliances, towels, etc.

Like socks, I too still have some of the gifts I received and remember who gave them to me. At one shower, a friend of my then future MIL gave me, among other things, an LLBean knife and told me she had one and loved it. I still have and use that knife and think of her when I pull it out of the drawer. IMO, that's the best kind of gift.

Now, 20 years, or 5 years, or even 5 weeks after the wedding, will this couple look back on their honeymoon and think to themselves, ah hostapasta, she gave us 1/30th of our airfare... Probably not, huh?

Well...is this about the GIVER or is it about the couple getting married? I don't know all that many young people well enough to give them a truly memorable item that I *know* they would enjoy. I can however presume they will enjoy their honeymoon -- and be grateful to anyone who contributed to making it even more memorable.

I remember only gifts from a few close friends who attended our wedding 45 years ago. Most people filled out our china, crystal and silver. We were grateful for everyone's generosity. Mercifully, I've forgotten the memorably *awful* gifts. lol

hostapasta -- The invitations could have been to 'destination weddings'. You'd pay a fortune to attend and still feel obliged to provide a gift!

I'm not a big registry fan, but I don't think a honeymoon registry is any worse than any other. Some people prefer experiences rather than "stuff". If you have a problem with it, just give them the amount in cash that you were going to spend, and then they can spend it as they choose (and it will probably be on the honeymoon anyway).
I would rather buy someone a champagne breakfast in a romantic paradise than a set of towels. They will enjoy the trip much more than the towels. It's gifts FOR them, not the giver.

If people are going to get you gifts, they should want to give what the couple wants. My last friends to get married (who had already lived together for years and had everything they needed) hinted that they would like cash to help with a down payment for a house. Fine by me.

Some other friends of mine last summer also hinted cash and bought a new washer and dryer with the money. Then they sent out cute thank you card with them and their dog posed in front of the washer and dryer.

I had other friends register at REI for camping equipment and I was just as happy to buy them new sleeping bags as I would have a kitchen appliance.

The thing about registries is that you can't win. If you don't have a registry then people complain that you should have one so they know what to get you. If you do have a registry then people complain about where you are registered, how much everything costs, what you choose, etc. I think it's a lose-lose situation.

People will complain regardless what you do, so I vote the couple should just do what they want, hopefully in a tactful way.

My sister and BIL got an invitation with a list of different things you could contribute to toward their honeymoon in Tahiti. Personally, I think it's in bad taste to ask for a gift at any time, but to bankroll someone's honeymoon because they want to go to Tahiti is just a tad over the top! JMHO

I like gift registries. My nephew got engaged and registered at Bed Bath and Beyond. There were gifts in all price ranges, some $5.(beverage glasses) Plus the store gift wrapped (optional) and delivered. But I don't like the idea of guests paying for a honeymoon. The older I get, the more I am amazed at peoples ingenuity at being greedy.The first wedding I ever attended, I gave a set of towels.

Not looking for a fight here, but I've seen the word "greedy" used a couple of times and I am curious: why is a honeymoon adventure any more "greedy" than a piece of china, a monogrammed towel or a crystal goblet?

When my dh and I got married the only thing we registered for was china, of which we received 12 place settings! We didn't need anything else and did not want some appliance or googaw that would not last. I think registrys are helpful, but should not be overused!

Well...is this about the GIVER or is it about the couple getting married? I don't know all that many young people well enough to give them a truly memorable item that I *know* they would enjoy.

To be honest, I think it's about both. The woman who gave me the knife didn't know me at all. She picked out something she loved and hoped that I'd love it too. Could've just as easily worked out that I threw the knife in the trash of course, but the gift meant something to me specifically because of the thought behind it. She took some time to think, what do I love that a new bride might also appreciate? And then she made a point to tell me the thought behind the gift.

That's not to say that every gift needs to be that special. I'm just saying how nice it is when it can be that special and that it's up to the giver to make it that special if they want to. But if you don't feel the need to, that's ok too.

As far as the use of the word "greedy", I think it's all about perception. We preceive that a newlywed couple NEEDS dishes and towels and blenders, etc. But they don't NEED a honeymoon in an exotic spot. In reality, of course, even the dishes, towels and blenders are "wants" more than "needs". So maybe if they have those things already, or for whatever reason, don't want them, they are asking for their real "want", the honeymoon.

But ultimately, the giver must decide what s/he is comfortable giving. As an example, a few years back, the son of a good friend was getting married. On their registry were a lot of (what I perceived to be) useless items. Warming socks and mood music cds and very expensive decorative items. Now, normally, who cares! If that's what they want, fine. But this couple was low on funds. Neither had great jobs, and they were still sort of struggling. I just could not bring myself to buy them something that would not help them establish a home. That was totally my opinion of course, but I'm plopping down my dollars and I want them well spent. I ended up giving them cash because, in my perception, that's what that couple needed more than anything else. I don't know how they spent it, so it could have been on totally silly stuff. But at least the gift was something *I* was comfortable giving.

I love the registries. It takes all the guess work away. As for a honeymoon registry--I have never heard of that. I would have no problem helping w/ honeymoon expenses--they will have the memories of that honeymoon forever. I tend to buy practical things--I like to buy towels, sheets, b/c I know they'll be used much more than something like a trifle bowl, wafflemaker, etc. The last wedding gift I gave was $$$ and the thank you note said they were going to use it to help buy a new stove.

Registries are fine w/ me. Makes it real easy to shop.

Sorry I used the word "greedy". Yes, I'm happy for the couple and want them to be happy. I remember at my wedding I got mostly cash or checks, a coffee maker, a salad set and three fondue sets. Can you guess I sold every one of the fondues at a garage sale two years after we got married?

I believe you give a gift based on what you can afford and your relationship with the couple. That determines the amount of the gift. Where you buy it (or just giving cash) is up to you. I think of a registry as a "here are some ideas for you". I personally would not buy something that was not tangible. But that is my choice. If there is nothing on the registry that you want to give them then give something else. Just consider their tastes. Maybe get them somethings related to their honeymoon.

Re: registries, I do think it is inconsiderate to not have gifts at all price levels.

I absolutely LOVE gift registries! I buy a lot of gifts, both from hubby and I or on behalf of my boss. Most couples are 35+ and as such are professionals that both have homes established and not in need of much. So having them register for things they need, a charity or whatever they choose is much appreciated.

Having owned a travel agency for 25 years the honeymoon registry has been around for a long time. In most cases one can buy a certificate that is used toward the purchase of the honeymoon, side excursions or even luggage or travel accessories. It's really no different than giving the couple a check. And again, often they simply do not need anything.

Jannie - no need to apologize! I was just trying to understand why several people felt that way, and I think Lowspark gave a pretty good explanation.
Interesting thread, thanks!

THANK YOU to EVERYONE who replied!!!

As I thought, opinions are all over the place! I think we would like to give a tangible gift, as some have said. Perhaps we will move in the direction of luggage.

Thanks again to all.

hostapasta