I'm also especially fond of male marmalaids. I've owned 3 in my lifetime. Psycho - Well, the name explains it. He was far from mild-manered, but I loved him. K.C. Farnsworth - He was a lazy spoiled brat, but fairly mild manered. He was my baby when I was growing up. I got him the day that Psycho died. I was 10 and wanted to "replace" the kitty that had just died. Well, we had K.C. until I was in my first semester of college. We had to put him down. He had seizures for about 5 years and they just kept getting worse and worse and he was getting weaker and weaker. :-( Then, a few months after I moved out on my own, my mom called one night and said, "Your daddy wanted me to call you and tell you that you need to come and get this kitten that Mrs. Cooper (old neighbor lady) found in her yard." And the rest is history. The Dude is now around 11 years old, and totally an old grump. He's lived with my parents for about the past 8.5 years, as Keith is allergic to cats. So, he's a block away and lives with his "uncles" Stanley (HUGE black and white fatty), Henry (HUGE gray tabby fatty) and The Beast (young, annoying brat) LOL The Dude hates them all, except Stanley. Stanley is "special" and so The Dude tolerates him.

Laundryman: I am not using large loads: the most recent load was 1 pr. jeans, 1 shirt, 1 lightweight cotton sweater, 1 tee shirt, 3 pr. men's jockeys, 2 pr. socks and 2 handkerchiefs, 1 pr P.Js. This was probably 1 pr pants lighter than normal load. I use the normal/casual cycle using hot/cold for whites and warm/cold for darks. Occasionally I use the sanitary cycle for towels and sheets, but I really watch the load size. I fill the detergent receptacle until the level reaches 1/2 way up to the max fill line for liquid detergent. I fill the fabric softner to about 2/3 to the max level and add some water to reach the max. I have no idea what the "cleaning cycle" is, so I guess that means I probably haven't done it, unless it is the same thing as using the sanitary cycle, which I use about 1 time a week, maybe 2. I don't notice suds when I look through the window. The clothes don't have excessive soiling or grease. I appreciate your response, and hope you have some ideas. In the meantime I will find my manual and see about the "cleaning cycle" you referred to.. I am willing to change detergents and fabric softners...whatever it takes. I'm hoping it doesn't take a new washer....when we bought this one I had such high expections/hopes that it would be "the one!" Also, as I said, we do have a water softner. We live in an area that has good water.

I was the one who didn't want kids, but here I am, w/ three little boys of my own. Dh wanted kids - has three grown that he had w/ the wrong woman; I raised my 3 Dear Nephews largely. Anyway, he wanted me more than more kids, I guess, and we wed - I was 33, he was 52. On our third anniversary, we brought home DS #1 - a second followed two years later and an unasked for blessing appeared 2 mos. after I turned 40. My point is that he may change his mind. For me, it was a change when I turned 35 and I saw the damage done to my skids by their BM, and I faced difficulties w/ my DNs as I was not the parent - paid for everything, but wasn't the parent and my hands were tied. My DNs opened up that unconditional love that kids do in a person, and as I got on in age, began to realize that I did want children in my future. Your age isn't on your side, but you've several good years left, so don't panic just yet. Anyway, if you really want a child, then there is a plan for you. This thing called motherhood is a selfless journey, but we need more women called to it rather than doing it for the wrong reasons. Do a little soul searching during this time alone. If you feel compelled to have a baby on your own, then do it. There may be a bigger, better plan for you right around the corner - someone waiting w/ your ideas, etc. Open yourself up to that. Frankly, I'd gladly go it alone rather than be w/ someone who didn't want what was so important to me. And, you are absolutely correct: you WOULD resent him in the future, no doubt. I applaud your courage for ending it rather than trapping this man or settling. For me, having the stepkids would never, ever be able to come close to having my own kids, though we didn't have a great start. My DNs, however, 100% could have fulfilled my motherly instincts. My skids were teens when we married and I came on the scene when my DNs were quite young, so maybe that's part of it. But...those newborn days are just priceless. That baby will be the only thing or person you will ever gladly lay down your life for before ever setting your eyes on him/her... All the best, Dana

I cringe as I type this. I haven't left because I keep holding out hope he will wake up and start really loving them. This doesn't happen every single night and like I said, He is better- cringe- it just feels forced to me. Reading what I am typing sounds so crazy. I see why some women are so confused. Thank you, guys. I am going to an attorney tomorrow. I already saw one last week. this is the push I need. So I am not crazy. This is not normal "strict" behavior. Having said this,