I think he really doesn't like my sons
I have been remarried for five years. My husband has four children and I have three. From the get go things have been so very stressful. I kept thinking that time would help us blend and that my husband would come to love my children.
He never made me or my kids a priority- as he was constantly running his four in a million directions. I completely get that- as his stellar parenting of his four kids is what attracted me to him in the first place. I just thought - well he is busy and once we all live together it will get better. MISTAKE.
He has never really liked my boys. They can walk right up to him and ask him a question and he will look at them and walk away. He does at least say hello- now- as I have threaten to leave if he doesn't start. But, truly- it feels forced and fake and so contrived and for show. My nanny says when I am not there he doesn't speak to them.
Last October *(&^ hit the fan one night. I was asleep and he came into our room and woke me and asked me if I wanted him to move out. I was like what are you talking about?!?!? Apparently, my husband had been waiting in the hallway in the dark while one of my boys got up to go the bathroom. This kid has a very hard time sleeping and always has to go to the bathroom at night. Well when my son came down the hallway my husband tripped him and scared him!!!! My son freaked out (he is 12) and told my husband he couldn't wait to move out etc. Now, my husband is a very smart man- he is an attorney and can talk anybody out of anything. My child told me what happened the next day- but he said he was ok with everything and that "it didn't need to be discussed ever again"- strange words coming from a kid
My husband will fix lunch for his kids and not mine. He will come and get his kids for lunch in the summer- from our home and not invite mine. He will acknowledge their presence now- but because I have threaten to leave.
This doesn't feel right. My kids are the most important thing in my life. Has anyone else had something like this happen? I am ready to leave.
This post was edited by ashbyee on Sun, Oct 27, 13 at 15:02
Leave.
This guy is a sadist, & he's abusing your children.
There's no excuse for anyone to dish out the kind of cruelty he's been dishing out *for 5 long years* (the bigger part of your kids' childhoods).
Get them outta there, & if you have to live in a smaller house or an apartment or move in with your parents...
count your blessings.
I wish you the very best.
As one of the few men around here, I don't always agree with everyone's quick "leave" response to issues with less than perfect men around here....but in this case I think I do.
Sorry to be so blunt, but intelligent or not, your husband is a d*ck. Only a total a$$hole takes out his stresses on children...especially the kids of someone he supposedly loves.
Yeah, this wont change...so I would get the hell out now, your kids are too important.
One question!! Why have you allowed this man to do this to your children for 5 years? These poor children have to be miserable!! Get the hell out!!
I cringe as I type this. I haven't left because I keep holding out hope he will wake up and start really loving them. This doesn't happen every single night and like I said, He is better- cringe- it just feels forced to me. Reading what I am typing sounds so crazy. I see why some women are so confused. Thank you, guys. I am going to an attorney tomorrow. I already saw one last week. this is the push I need. So I am not crazy. This is not normal "strict" behavior.
Having said this,
Good for you.
Remember this: This doesn't happen every single night is a clever strategy. It makes you doubt your own judgment because sometimes he's normal. If he'd been like that all the time it would have been easier for you to recognize what has been going on.
Waiting in the hallway and tripping your son in the darkness is one of the cruelest mental tortures I've heard of.