Seriously?? Is this for real? Why would anyone put this in the paper?

Real or not (which I'm more apt to believe), I have to say, it's funny.

Finally an Obit that speaks the truth! lol

Snopes says it's true. The short article contains a comment from the daughter who wrote the obituary.

Here is a link that might be useful: Snopes article

Well,sad as it is to say,I have known a couple individuals in my life that that could have applied to.

Better that, than making a horrible person out to be a saint all of a sudden. Seen it happen before.

Thanks for posting the Snopes link. That helps to understand the obit even more. This is so sad that a person lived her life in such a way that no one mourned her passing.

Shirley

Wow, that was really sad. Not sad for Delores, but sad for her family. Why have so many kids if you are going to abuse them?

Well, Wow! And SAD!

Was it Bambi's mother who said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"...but I have to agree with country bumpkin.

I guess that person must have felt so bitter about whatever went on that they felt the need to publish something like that. I think I'd be inclined just not to publish any obituary at all if there was no need to have any kind of service because no one cared for the person. It's very sad.

The truth hurts sometimes. At least she wasn't mean about it.

Dolores may have been a bit of a handful, but at least her husband Raymond liked her, as evidenced by the number of children.

Such a shame. Sad but so true. I feel sorry for the family.

Well, it is about time people start saying the truth, they also fluff stuff up and make them look like they are saints and they weren't/aren't.

And why can't you have that put in public and made it known how their mom was really.

Also it probably was getting off the chest after all those years of their mom.

But why air your family's dirty laundry in public? Why not a simple obit that says, simply,

Dolores Aguilar, 1929-August 7, 2008. Good-bye.

My own Mom is a stinker. People tell me storys of things they endured under her wrath. I would never publicly disgrace her name. Even though I was verbally abused by her. She is still my Mother who bought me into this world.

Apprently the bitter apple doesn't fall far from the tree. They should have published just the first paragraph.

My father was like her. The only good thing he ever did for me was remarrying 2 yrs. after he was widowed. I was 10, my sister 12, and my brother was 7 when we got our "step"mother. They had 3 more kids, my beloved "half" sibs. She was my rock, my anchor, my role model, my dear friend. She died six years ago today. And I, obviously, still miss her much. RIP Mom.

I think it's in very poor taste. She should have either printed just the facts- date of birth, death and surviving relatives; or not even put an obit in the paper at all. It wasn't necessary to add superfluous information of any type at all.

Awful taste. I agree that a simple line as lindsay_ca suggests would've been appropriate and given the family some satisfaction that they didn't eulogize her. It says as much about the daughter as she says about the mother.

It was interesting.....got us thinking about awful people we know and how to handle the obit. Right...

Wow, I'll be cleaning up my act!

At first I thought it was a hoax too, so thank you Alisande for the snopes link. While being pretty awful, obviously the lives of Delores' children was awful also. If it was cathartic for the family to release the venom than so be it. Years ago I had a mailman that I felt that way about. I use to say there goes a man that when he passes, no one is going to miss. How sad.

Dolores may have been a bit of a handful, but at least her husband Raymond liked her, as evidenced by the number of children.

LOL

(Marlingardener, I hope you were kidding.)

If she truly believes her mother will be met in the afterlife by those that preceded her, then, printing that obit won't make her life easy when it's her turn to go. LOL

Sounds like it was the truth. It's hard to believe how every obit claims the person was a joy, had a smile for everyone, lit up a room when they walked in, etc.
Personally I wouldn't put it in the paper like that, but apparently they wanted people to know what they had to put up with all these years and what they were finally rid of.

Who was Paul Jr. named after?

I hadn't caught that, Maura - clever!

Zee...I'm right there with you...I vow to be a better person everyday...this obituary has just dumbfounded me...at first I felt sorry for them...then I laughed...now I don't know what to think...i've known a few peeps over the years that it would fit...not so many kids but the wrath they left on peeps...I pity them...

pathetic on several levels

wonder how this daughter's obit. will read someday

Sadly there are miserable, unkind people like her in this world. One lady I know read this and said, "You mean there was someone else like my mom?"

Maybe this was her family's way of justifying a 'heathen' funeral.

Too funny, Marlingardener.

I don't have to clean up my act...everyone loves me

This only makes me appreciate my wonderful parents even more. It is truly tragic what some people have to look back upon their childhood.
Anna

I feel sad for those kids (and, likely, to a certain extent, the grandkids) ... if they all felt that they had been treated as did the one who wrote.

Regarding the subject line ... I think that such a message as this will have next to no effect on the way that I choose to run my act.

I live the way I do because I feel it to be the best way, for all concerned, not just for me, but my kids, loved ones ... and the communtiy at large (the worldwide one).

To the best of my ability, that is: Lord knows, I'm much less than perfect!

Looking forward to setting up a glowing obituary has next to nothing to do with it.

ole joyful

I don't know about that ole joyful. If I grow old and lose all those who knew me from my earlier years, the rest of acqaintances left (maybe from the rest home?) may only see me as a crotchety old hag. They may be the ones left to deal with my body.

And as I'm getting older my patience is wearing thinner with people. I don't want to be remembered as being that way. So yes, I vow to treat people better.

my first thought is what may have made her mother the bitter person she's made out to be? am wondering, considering her ethinic name, and location in ca, what she might had to endure? 8 kids is a huge responsibility to feed and clothe...

So sad! I too think it shouldn't have been aired like it was, but the author seemed to me to be pretty aware of what a nice person should look like. I doubt she ended up like her mother.

My nana could easily fit into this description. She is still alive and without going into detail, she is a wicked, mean and bitter woman. I've done everything I could (my mom too) to earn her kindness and was figuratively slapped in the face. I just choose to remember the good times only. When she WAS nice, it was enjoyable to be around her. Now, I just keep my distance.

Blessings,
Haley

I've never been to a funeral where it isn't said that "so and so is finally at peace in heaven."

So, who goes to hell?

I agree that this is sad, but reality is, it's probably truer than we'd like to acknowledge.

I agree with Amyfiddler!! If the daughter wanted the truth published about her Mother, there's nothing wrong with that. I do question why so many people have a problem with the TRUTH and it being put in print!

Well, I've no problem with the truth at all. But there are different ways to express the same thing. This obit shows no class at all.

I was wondering if anyone else would wonder the same thing that has been crossing my mind. There's a propensity here to automatically believe whatever anyone says, without question. Nothing could be embellished, nothing could ever be false. The person who makes a complaint is automatically believed and the subject is demonized.

I want to ask if it's possible that because of raising so many children this person may not have gotten the special attention she craves? Perhaps she wasn't given designer jeans and a Gucci handbag for Christmas every year? No new Nikis when she'd lose them? Perhaps she didn't like eating lentils and beans when that's all that could be on the table.

And FWIW, I'll never run my life based on what people think of me. I do what I feel is right. Sometimes you're the bad guy for speaking the truth. Sometimes you're not popular for telling the Emperor he has holes in his underwear. But I have to live with myself and my opinion of what I do, my morals and ethics are far more important than someone embarrassed because they got caught doing something they shouldn't.

Yeah, I kind of agree with you, cynic...

And, I do think the apple may not have fallen so far from the tree... possibly the mother was as outspoken as the daughter; I wouldn't want to be friends with the daughter. No one ever asked the daughter to lie... but showing a little respect for the dead..her own mother...is to be expected...Sorry, I don't care if the mother was Jack the Ripper.. if you can't say something positive you can just not say anything at all...

For all we know, the mother was suffering from dementia most of her life, or severe depression, or some other painful disease and was never diagnosed or treated because she simply never had the time (or maybe money) for herself... how could she have any hobbies or devote much time to society with all those kids? Maybe her husband was abusing her and she was angry; who knows... I just find it sad that someone would write something like that about their own mother... it's like she did it for attention. It didn't need to be said; it served no positive purpose... other than to get a rise... and that's exactly why it should not have been said.

That could very easily have been written about my grandmother.

She was despised. My suggestion for her obituary was:

YAY!

The family nixed that. :)

The author/daughter certainly seems like a very angry and bitter person who hasn't dealt with her feelings. Why would you publish something like that except to receive attention and pity from strangers? I wonder what her own kids think about HER. Yuck.

I would hope that this daughter's opinion was everyone's opinion and not just her own. It would be awful to have untruths written about you in your own obituary for the whole world to see.

I have a mentally ill sister that I could see doing something like this. I hope she doesn't write my obit...or anyone else's, for that matter. :(

If it *were* true, it really wouldn't bother me. I (usually) don't mind the truth being told. Actually it's often better the truth be told that to perpetuate the lies. I'm bothered about history rewritten from fact to be "nice".

I have relatives that are scumbags. I don't go around publishing articles about them (too often) but when someone asks, I do *not* lie about it and when someone tries to glorify them and make them something they're not, I speak up. I also speak up when someone criticizes someone unjustly.

Sometimes the truth hurts and often it's good for it to hurt a little.

A fingernails on the chalkboard phrase to me is the "if you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all...". I wonder if those people would subscribe to that if they're raped, witness family members murders and the like and not say anything but nice things about the perp. :)

Like I said, sometimes the truth needs to hurt a little.

I'm surprised someone hasn't done a little investigating into the validity of the claims in this obit. But then I guess I understand with the way the true reporters has been butchered from news organizations.

Someone "did" check it out with Snopes..and posted a link above...

At first, I found it unbelievable that someone would write an obit like this... but then, why not? We are quick to write all the nice stuff but what about the not-so-nice-stuff?

My dad was not a bad man in general but did make our lives difficult. He had a rough mom with many issues and he grew up bitter and angry, as did all his other 6 siblings. My dad's obit might have read a bit like that one except he wasn't as horrible as this woman. What he was, was one person with his family and another when he was in front of his friends. Everyone thought he was an amazing man and devoted father. What he actually was, was an adulterer from the day he married my mom and an emotional bully. He provided financially for the family beautifully but that's where it ended. Maybe this lady was the same way and the daughter wanted everyone to know the truth at the end. I know our family would get really pissed when dad had friends and their wives over and he became this stellar husband and father. He had everyone fooled and made US seem like the bad ones. We loved him, though, because we understood his problems and he never got help. He still made our lives a living hell about 80% of the time. He died peacefully at home from pancreatic cancer... being cared for by us until the end.

My Mother left 7 children in the care of our Dad.
She never kept in touch until Dad died at 48 yrs
old, then she was in there like a dirty shirt looking
for anything she could get her hands on.
No I never mourned her after her death. I only had
a numb feeling in my heart. There's much more to the
story but it will stay burried now.
Dolly