I'm not slamming tats either, but....

DH's aunt took her 16yo DD (yep, 16) to get her first tat this week. I am horrified, because I can not imagine this at that age. Although, the 16yo has gotten everything pierced that can be pierced, and all with mom's permission.

Sigh.

I think a law should be inacted that a child under whatever the legal age is in each state muct have signed parental permission. Hope nothing happens because of the needles used.

If you don't like tatoos, then you don't like them...for you. You even said you like hers. What if you told her not to drink beer 'til she "was on her own". There's only so much you can control. She's a big girl now. Let her do her thing.

And she can pay her own way too, if she is a big girl, with no restrictions.

I would agree with you Sleeper. I don't care one way or the other about tatoos but she should have waited until she was paying her own way. Guess if she has only one semester left, it would be better to pick another battle. One day when her own dd defies her wishes, you can just smile about the tattoo and think 'payback'.

no, I don't think that one request was to much to ask. Your dd is getting a sweet deal.

I hate em....

That said...all three of my kids have them. I think my oldest daughter has about 7 of them. The only two you can see are both real small ones. One tiny one on her ankle and the state of Texas on the top of her foot down close to her toes.

Middle daughter has Texas ...it's well hidden too.

Son has a few...they are all where a short sleeve shirt will cover them. He didn't want any to show working in an office and meeting with clients. Oh and he has Texas also.

The three of them got Texas when we were all down there during the time Denny had his stroke while vacationing down there.

Jeff told his dad if he ever has another stroke to have it in Las Vegas...(long story)

My DS has a tattoo on his upper arm.

He was 82nd Army Airborne, and that's his tattoo.
His isn't as big as this one, as this one spreads. His is much smaller.

She is considered an adult at 18. Many girls her age have tattoos. I don't see anything wrong with it. I knew a pediatrician whose son looked older than his age. He started getting tattoos at 16. His mom was so mad she went to the tattoo parlor and chewed them out and reminded them they should check IDs.
Just be glad your DD isn't pregnant or addicted to heroin or cocaine. Things could be worse.

Long time lurker (reader) here & I just had to respond to this one.

My youngest daughter got a tattoo after her older sister died in 2004. It is a daisy with Tracy's signature, it's on her shoulder blade. She took in a birthday card from her sister & had them trace the signature. I smile every time I see it :)

Here is a link that might be useful:

I hate tatoos, however if they are adults it's none of my business. Oldest DS, Marine, now Army is covered, got his butt chewed by Mom when he got the first visible one! I don't personally care for them but to each their own I guess. I do think of all the money spent that could have gone for better uses.

Don't even show me a needle!

OT--Glenda, Harry was in the 82nd Airborne, too. Was your son at Ft. Bragg? Guessing he must have been since it's the HQ for 82nd.

I agree. She should have waited. I understand your upset....yet I'm glad your daughter's just a little rebellious. We want to be raising strong women to follow in our footsteps. Good job.....AND most importantly, she IS graduating soon. Success!

Good for you for not sweating the small stuff! After all, she seems like a good kid, and there are much worse things that she could be doing than getting a tattoo.

I am the only one out of my family that doesn't have at least one and that includes My MOM!!

Nancywi - that's a beautiful tattoo and a sweet reminder of her sister. What a clever idea to have Tracy's signature copied and the daisy adds just the right touch. Welcome to the KT - I'm so glad you came out of lurking and responded to this topic. I hope you join in the discussions and become a regular.

Each of my three children have a tattoo and while I'm not thrilled with their choice - it was their decision. I just feel there are more serious issues to worry about.

I don't like tattoos, but I think the memorial one that Nancywi's DD got is very tasteful and sweet. I've seen other memorial ones that are huge and really just "too much".

My DD wanted a tattoo when she was 18, somehow we talked her out of it and she hasn't got one yet (she's 21), but she did get a 'monroe' piercing (upper lip where Marilyn's mole was) which I don't really like either... but I figure it's just a hole that will close up if she takes the stud out. She likes it, that's what matters.

yep been there done that.My daughter got a big daisy on upper arm,she just told me the other day I wished
i never got it...

I never liked tattoos either. My son got his 1st (of 2) tattoo when he was around 18yrs. old. He designed it himself, I knew he was going to get it..but it was his choice. I just had to accept the fact that he was still the same person (inside) with or without the tattoo.

Then, low and behold last year, at age 57..I went and got a tattoo! Mine is a Dragonfly..in memory of my husband and is based on The Dragonfly Story. At least I won't have to worry about regretting it when I get old..I'm already old! lol I'm actually thinking about getting another one..I know what I want, just not sure where I want it.

Try to get over being upset about it. If that's the only thing she ever does that you're not happy about..you're lucky!*S*

I think it's a little silly to set boundaries on people over 18 that don't directly effect you. A tattoo is a personal decision and she reached the age of consent to make that decision.

I always told my kids they could do whatever they wanted (hair,fashion, basic piercing that could grow back etc.) as long as it wasn't permanent until they turned 18.

The only trend that really bothers me is the huge ear stretching. To me it's simply self-mutilation. But that just my opinion.

Neither of them have tattoos to this day. Actually since they had permission to do all that stuff they lost interest. DS got one ear pierced. He also let someone pierce his eyebrow as a going away gift to her. He left it in until she was gone. LOL I am the only one in the family to have a tat and plan to get another soon. DD has mentioned many times on how I didn't give them much to rebel against. LOL

I'd be unhappy too, that she couldn't abide by the rule that you set down for her. I think the people that pay the way get to set the rules and if she wants to be independent of the rules, she should be independent of the money, too.

A pediatrician friend of mine told me about one of her patients- 15 year old girl, mom signed for her to get her naval pierced. Long story short, the girl nearly died and now has to take anti-rejection drugs for the rest of her life because she had to have a heart valve transplant due to an infection that settled in her heart. I bet she wishes that her mother had held firm and not given in.

I don't like tattoos at all, period, on anybody. No one in my entire family has one and that makes me happy. I don't like facial piercings, either, other than one or maybe 2 in an ear. It's very distracting to me. Woody calls facial piercings "shrapnel" and says he worked too hard to avoid that stuff to be comfortable seeing people doing it to themselves. lol

I got my ears pierced after I was married and my mom was still mad with me. Then she went and got hers done. :)

Nancy, I loved your DDs tattoo. I am so sorry for your loss, but that is a sweet reminder of your daughter. Where in Wis are you?

Thanks for the supporting comments. I know that I have no control over what (really) either of my kids do. I didn't freak out when she came home with an eyebrow piercing, or when her younger brother had to do the same thing when he was on a school trip to Europe. He was 17 at the time, I really didn't think it was appropriate that his teacher/chaperone let him get a piercing in Sweden, but I didn't make a big issue of it. In fact, I never mentioned how inappropriate I thought it was.

My point was that she didn't respect my wishes. But, it is a really cute dino, I know she loved the book Constantine, and at least she didn't get something too radical.

My DD 17 just got a little stud in the side of her nose. She wanted a monroe but I wouldn't go for that. I wasn't all that crazy about the nose piercing either but she's a good girl and if that's the worst thing she wants to do, then I don't have a problem with it. My biggest concern was infection. And the first time I took her to have it done, they wouldn't do it because I had to bring in her birth certificate and ID to prove I was her mom, not her aunt, sibling, etc. I was impressed with that at least. Now on the other hand, her 17 year old girl friend can have tattoos galore but no piercings. I just don't really get that.

Sleeper, is part of your upset due to the fact that everyone knew about it except you? I can see how that alone would upset you. At her age she didn't really need your permission, but obviously did know that she was overriding your wishes. I think that would be hurtful to you.

I assume she is working and paid for the tattoo herself? She knows you are upset (hurt?) so if I were you I would have a talk with her to let her know that you would have preferred that she would have spoken to you about it before she got it.

Can't change it now, but don't let feelings fester.

I personally dislike tattoos and don't understand why anyone would want one. My DS and DD never had any....until my DD had her 50th birthday, and got a small butterfly on her ankle. She laughingly said she was "rebelling."

Little late, wouldn't you think?

Talk it out.

Sue

patti, DS was 82nd Airborne, Ft Bragg.
Bad jump and he broke his back.
Medical retirement :o(

My almost 18 yr went and had one put on the back of his forearm in November..it was January before I caught a peek of it..I don't know how he payed for it, if he did, who did it...or nothin..
Whomever did it..it's illegal...he claims it was a friend who's now a tattoo "artist"..that wanted to work on his lettering...well he also needs to work on straight lines...
I was NOT happy...but what do you do?

I said the same thing..when you are grown and make all your own decisions...hmmm lotta fat luck that did me..
an wait here's the kicker...it says...
in Old English Font...Family First...

I don't think any of our 3 kids have tattoos. They are in their 30's, would probably have shown us if they did and it was in a viewable area.
My DH and I don't have them, getting one never really came up. I'm sure that if our kids wanted them they would have gotten them.

It's going to be funny some day when all those tattooed people are in the nursing home with their wrinkled sagging skin. Won't be too cool then.. Nothing in this world would make me get a tattoo. Neither kid has any and GD got a tiny peace sign at her bikini line. And she doesn't even have pierced ears.

My 94 year old aunt once told me that she believed her role as a parent included raising her children to be able to think things through and make decisions for themselves. She took that one step further by saying that once they did start making decisions, she believed that she had no right in telling them their decision was wrong.

sleeperblues, I'd say you've done a good job as a parent.

I'm with the pink one, don't like tats and don't have one, don't like piercings either. Not my decision except when it comes to hiring and I won't hire anyone with facial piercings nor a tat that shows in normal business clothes.

One of my dearest friends was a funeral director until he retired last year, he commented more than once about what tats often look like at/after death, and it wasn't pretty.

You have a daughter who is in the marching band and will soon be graduating from college? How fabulous!! You must be so very proud.

I truly understand the disappointment about the tatoo (I would probably feel the same.), but you said it yourself--In the scheme of things, what does it matter?

Terri-thanks for the chuckle!

Lesterd-THANK YOU, sometimes I wonder.

Lily-My thoughts exactly. I work in surgery and see a lot of naked skin and let me tell you the tattoos don't look really attractive. But I guess when all these folks are old and in the nursing home all of the other residents will also have sagging tats. They can all have fun pulling their skin taut showing each other what their tattoo used to look like, lol.

People always talk about how bad tattoos will look when you get old but how about just getting tired of them? I can't imagine picking out a picture for my body when I was 18 or 19 and still liking it today. Tastes change.

A friend's 18 year old daughter is getting a huge tattoo over much of her body. I think it's a mistake.

My youngest has wanted one for years..(he'll be 19 in August) we pleaded and begged him not too...but if he did to get it where it wouldn't be a hinderous to having a decent job...meaning HIDE IT...He came home in february with my initials at the top of his arm...the only time you see it is if he has on a sleeveless shirt or no shirt at all...EJB...I was flattered but really wish he wouldn't have done it...I worried about dirty needles and getting an infection but it's fine..I went with Audrey from Nevada when we were in Canada to get one...but after the pain I saw her in...I chickened out.

Whats done is done. Nothing you can do about it now. Reminds me of myself going againest my mother's wishes and
getting my ears pierce in high school.

I believe that anyone of age should be able to make their own choices about tattoo's or anything else but the truth is, some people still believe that people who have tattoos are some how less educated or cultured and lose respect for them. It wasn't that long ago that tat's were seen only on "low life" people. In a job situation as Liz mentioned...it does make a difference. It is important for career minded people to make sure that they can cover them up. I also believe that as long as a child is under your roof and support, they should abide by your rules. My own daughter has two small tat's but she is in her 40's and long past my control. I cannot even imagine why anyone would want one.

Sorry your daughter was less interested in 'doing the right thing' by honoring her loving mom and more interested in following a fad. That WAS dumb. Yes, in the scheme of life it's 'a small thing'. Nevertheless, I'd be disappointed.

I've bittten my tongue over time, too. DS and DIL enjoyed a free trip to Maui on our AA miles, staying at our condo there. They never asked if they could bring along a couple they knew; they just did it, probably because they knew we didn't like the couple (since divorced). Clincher was DS returning with a full calf tattoo. Ugh! (These are not 'children', they were early 30's.)

Well, I'm of the school that believes that if it's my money, it's my rules. Having said that let me say "It could be worse." My step GD's ambition in life is to be a tatoo artist. She spends all her free time doodling designs for tats on scrap pieces of paper. She's in her early 20's but I'm still hoping she'll outgrow this notion and turn her artistic talent in a more meaningful direction.

The problem is not the tatoo. It's the betrayal. If you were able to separate the two, it would be clearer to you, and you could speak to that with her. Until then, the tattoo will be the scapegoat and everyone will argue your issue.

Well said, amyfiddler.

Here's proof of "karma." I never liked tattos, didn't want my daughters to ever get one. When younger DD turned 18, she went and got a heart tattooeed on her left hip. Her best friend got the same on her right. Both are very slim and pretty girls. I happened to see Dd'd and told her it looked "okay". She told me "Oh, Gawd, it hurt so much I'll never get another one." Older DD heard her and has never got a tattoo. it's like anything. Give them enough rope... she's a good girl otherwise, goes to college and is on the Dean's list, helps around the house, pays her own car bills.

My DH and I both dislike tattoos and clearly don't understand why anyone would want to mess up the body God intended for you to have.

One of our ex-employees has tats. When we hired him he only had a few and we told him he had to keep them covered at all times and body piercings gone. One day during the summer he had to crawl up in the attic of a customers home to pull wire through for some light fixtures. Here in Fl, during the summer the attic can reach 120 or more degrees. He took off his shirt because it was so hot and when he was coming out of the attic, the homeowner, a woman, screamed. She didn't know who or WHAT it was coming out of her attic. Police were called, employee was showing his ID, even though she met him when he first showed up. My husband was summoned to the customers home. Employees tatts were of skull bones and other scarry stuff all over his chest, back and arms! He had gotten more since we hired him. He did quit eventually but we knew then that we couldn't send him into any more customer homes to work. That was quite a few years ago and since then ex-employee has ran into DH and told him that he's trying to get rid of all tattoos because no one wants to hire him looking like a freak. He also let the piercings close up. He told DH that he wishes he never got them that he was too young when he got his first one.

Once you are old and wrinkly, ALL of your skin is wrinkled and saggy, so I don't think people are too worried about the tattoo looking wrinkled and saggy. Of course it won't be that attractive, but you could also argue that nothing on an eighty year old body is going to as attractive as on a twenty something year old body. I have tattoos and I couldn't care less they will look terrible eventually. So will everything else, LOL. I'm 31 and already getting wrinkles, moles, more jiggly, etc...my tattoos are the least of my concern, haha. I don't think that argument holds much weight with people who like tattoos.

Pris, tattoo artists make pretty good money, tattoos can cost hundreds of dollars for a large, nicely done one. Probably one of the more lucrative careers that someone with artistic talent could have actually using their skill. Most artists I know have to work a 9-5 job they hate and do their art on the side because there just isn't a whole lot of money in being an artist.

jen, I don't disagree that it can be lucrative but, she lives in a small, extremely conservative town and so far has shown now desire to relocate. I don't really think her career choice in this location is a good choice. As a matter of fact, there's not much call for her talents here regardless. She's going to have to decide to give up her dream or go where she can do something about.